Donghae's POV

Monday came faster than I expected it to. I mean.... I did expect it to come right after Sunday but I was kinda hoping to sleep through the whole day and not go to school.

My parents at some point found out that I was faking my cold and today I don't think I would be able to skip anyway.

It's not that I don't like school - please understand! Of course I managed to already fail the math quiz and I am pretty sure it won't be long before I manage to get an F in physics. The english teacher is getting annoyed at my nervous stuttering and I am basically considered an idiot in biology with the whole class constantely breaking into laughter because of something I said. And it's only the first week.

Honestly I often end up sulking because of my academics but it's probably dancing that makes me want to run to school everyday. If I hadn't joined the dance club I probably would never ever make the friends I have now and I would never have the recognition that I posess whenever I walk by.

For me being in the dance club is not only a hobby - It's a way to survive in high school.

What did I have before the dance club? A black eye, bruises on my torso and left cheek and terrible grades.

What do I have after I joined? Popularity, loyal friends and a way to relese my stress.

(That is perhaps why even after all those months I am still clinging onto Sungmin despite having other friends. Perhaps it's cause he was the first who believed in me - the one who gave me courage to audition for the club)

I groaned as the alarm clock rang. Ignore..... Endure...... Forget....,.

"Yah! Don't you here your alarm clock!!!!! Wake up!!!! And don't you even pretend to be sick!!!!! You are gonna be late for your dance practice!!!!!" _ I groaned as my dad took away my blanket. Suddenly I felt very vulnerable. - "Donghae!!!!!" - I snuggled into my pillow..... - "Aish..... Chincha........ Yeobo!!!!! can you get this prick out of bed......?"

There was a moment of silence before my "mom" came barging in to the room.

"Donghae......" - Umma stared right at me using the famous glare. I gulped but did not make a move to get off the bed. - "Donghae..... I am counting to three..... 1......"

"Arasso.... Arasso....." - I slung my feet over the edge of the bed and stretched. Dad looked over at umma as if saying "How do you manage to do it?"

"Good boy..... Now come eat breakfast..... Yeobo.... Your eggs are ready..."

When I was left alone, I quickly put on my uniform and stared at the bag with my clothes for dancing. After a while I signed and left the room with my school bag.

The kitchen smelled like eggs with a hint of the cinamon coffee my dad was drinking while reading the newspaper. When he saw me he pushed a plate with eggs towards my seat with a commanding 'eat'.

"But eat it fast because I have to go to work soon." - I sumped down on my chair and picked up my fork. Umma looked at me with a worried look.

"So?" - I stuffed a bite into my mouth.

"Isn't it obvious? I will be taking you to your dance practice today to make sure you don't skip." - I looked between appa and umma before putting my fork down.

"Appa..... Umma...... I don't think I want to go to dance practice........" - They both stopped doing whatever they were doing before and looked at me. I just gulped. - "In fact.... I think I want to quit the club....."

Appa and umma exchanged glances before umma came to me and sat on a chair next to me... He cupped my chin and made me look at him. Umma's eyes searched mine before he let go.

"Donghae..... Did something happen....?" - I avoided umma's eyes and started playing with my fork.

"Aniyo....."

"Donghae..... You know you can tell us...." - I looked into umma's eyes and then into appa's.

They both looked so worried that it broke my heart. I am the only kid they will ever have.... It must be upsetting for them if they can't do anything to cheer up their only child.... They are the best parents anyone could ask for so I shouldn't make them feel like they failed at raising me.

"It's just..... there is this new guy in our dance club...... And he is SO SO good..... And when he came..... it's like I don't even exist anymore..... And .... in... when..... in the competition .... he will be the lead dancer......... It's not that...... I mean..... he's good..... but I just........ I tried..... I feel...... worthless....."

Umma and appa exchanged glances as I felt a burning sensation in my eyes indicating possible tears. Then Umma stood up and sat on the floor in front of me while cupping my face.

"Donghae...... Stop crying...." - I sniffed and blinked away the tears.... - "Who are you? You are Lee Donghae! You are the boy who without any real training managed to capture the hearts of everyone at school with your dancing..... You are the boy who manages with just one body roll bring a smile to a person's face..... You are the boy who never gave up....... So what if some boy was chosen instead of you..... Let them worship him while you will only get better and better..... And then you will prove that you are so much better than him..... You will make them regret ever not believing in you....." - I smiled a little. Umma was right. - "Besides.... you are my son..... And I am a damn good dancer..... My blood is running in your veins..... You'll show them..." 

With that umma stood up and went back to washing the dishes.

My blood is running in your veins.....

I wasn't stupid.... I knew that two guys couldn't have a baby.... And considering Jonghyun-appa's and Kibum-umma's facial features I definitely had more of the puppysaurus factor rather than the feline one... I don't know nor do I really care with whom Jjong-appa made the mistake that now is the happiest thing in his and umma's life but I was almost 100% sure that she would never be able to be even half the mother that Key-umma is. 

I guess that's why I never asked how I came to be. It's not that I wasn't curious - it's just that I honestly didn't want to ruin our family picture. When all your neighbors and acquaintances turn their back on you just because you're brave enough to be different you really just stick to each other because that is the only support you'll ever get.

The school doesn't know about my parents neither do my friends. What they know is that I have a single father named Kim Jonghyun. When everyone asks why I have a different lastname I nonchalantely answer that it's my mother's. And the discussion usually stops. They think it's a sensitive subject and don't want to make me uncomfortable. Pretty considerate if you ask me.

Honestly it's kinda strange that a woman who didn't want to be my mother would leave something to remind both of us of the other's existence. I mean wouldn't it be better to leave quietly? Although on the other hand she WAS stuck with me for 9 monthes.

I finished my eggs and put the plate in the sink.

"So what do you say? Time to kick some ?" - Appa playfully asked.

I shyly looked down and giggled muttering a quiet "Maybe tomorrow." Umma laughed along and pulled me into a hug.

"Not ready yet?" - I shook my head. - "That's okay..... Tomorrow you will kick everyone's ..... And today you will help me with the dished during the dance practice."

"Umma!!!!~" 

"It's not like you have anything better to do." - I signed in defeat...

$$$

I came to school right before the bell rang. The lesson was awfully boring - history was never my thing. The teacher had a very low sing-song voice that could put anyone to sleep. Which is what I was planning to do until a conversation caught my..... ear.....

"Yah....! Did you hear..... Hongki confessed to Kim Heechul....." - Minhwan who sat beside me nudged his friend Seunghyun who was sitting on his right. 

I knew who Kim Heechul was..... I think everyone knew who Kim Heechul was. He wasn't the most popular jock around here nor was he terribly loved by his peers. Kim Heechul was just a really loud senior who happened to be openly gay. Yet Kim Heechul wasn't bullied by anyone in their sane mind in fact he was someone who usually was to be avoided. First of all, because his boyfriends usually specialized in either box or karate. Secondly, that guy had a really sharp tongue and within 5 seconds he could completely destroy you self-confidence. Thirdly, Heechul was really fond of gossip. He could dig up your dirtiest secret and wouldn't even think twice before spreading it around the whole school.

All in all Kim Heechul was extremely feared off and usually left alone.

I however wasn't terribly afraid of him. Heechul happened to Sungmin-hyung's friend and I have often heard stories about Heechul from my hyung. Some of them included Heechul dressing up as a girl and dancing to Gee by SNSD..... In fact almost all of the stories included that.

The main point is - I wasn't scared of Kim Heechul nor did I avoid him. In fact sometimes I wished to become friends with him. My parents were gay, Heechul was gay. In a way I think the two of us would probably understand each other well. I mean even though that diva seemed pretty confident on the outside I am sure even he deep down wanted to be simply loved for who he is.

"And.....? - Seunghyun whispered back as quietly as possible. Hongki was his friend and I am sure he didn't want him to be bullied so he didn't want other's to hear.

"Got rejected....." - I raised an eyebrow.... Usually Heechul wouldn't miss a chance to get a boyfriend.... Maybe he already has one. - "Apparently he has a boyfriend at the moment." - I smirked as my assumptions were correct. - "And his boyfriend goes to our school." - I raised an eybrow out of curiousity.

"What's his name?" - Seunghyun asked as he kept on writing in his notebook carefully coping everything from the board.

"Lee Sungmin." - My head shot up at the name.

"Who is that?"

"Dunno.... A senior I think..... Heechul's friend...."

"Yah! Choi Minhwan, Song Seungho!!!!! Shut it!!!!" - I shuddered at our teacher's loud voice quickly proceeding to coping everything from the blackboard.

"Mr. Jung! It's Song SeungHYUNG!!!!" - Some of our classmates laughed. The teacher has never yet said Seunghyun's name properly. Which is funny considering that he is probably the most attentive student in this class.

"Whatever!! Just pay attention.... We have a quiz tomorrow!!!" - I groaned along some other people. - "Yah!!!! No matter how mych you whine you'll still have to take it."

Everyone quited down and the teacher resumes explaining today's subject. Behind me I heard Seunghyun whine: "Does he hate me or something????"

My thought were mostly on Sungmin..... I should probably talk to him.

$$$

When lunch came I started searching for Sungmin-hyung. I found him hanging out with Shindong-hyung. I approached them shyly - me and Shindong were super awkward with each other as it is and now I was planning to steal Sungmin from him.

"Sungmin-hyung....." - Sungmin looked at me with surprise but it soon turned into a smile. - "Can we sit together at lunch...."

"Yeah sure Donghae.... Shindong and I were just planning to go to the cafeteria." - Need to get rid of Shindong.......

"Ani..... I need to talk to you about something." - I snuck a glance at Shindong who looked a bit sad.

"Oh.... Does it have anything to do with you not coming to school?"

"Partially..... but there is something else too...."

Sungmin looked over at Shindong who just signed and said: "Go ahead...... I'll go find Leeteuk..... or somebody...." - Sungmin thanked him and then linked arms with me dragging me to the cafteria.

When we finlly bought food ( the line was probably bigger than the line for the first McDonalds that opened in Seoul ) and sat down Sungmin directed his gaze on me....

"I demand an explanation..... You were gone for 3 days, you didn't tell anyone where you were and you weren't picking up your phone..."

"I was.... mentally and emotionally sick...." - I said with confidence.

"Come again?" - Sungmin looked at me curiously while munching on his sandwich.

"Something happened.... You want the long version or the short one?"

"Short..."

"We have a new dude in our dance club and he stole my position as a lead dancer." - Sungmin stopped eating for a while as if thinking bout something. Then he looked at me with worry

"Ah..... are you okay?" - He asked carefully.

"Nope.... I feel like running away or crying....." - I said with confidence.

"You seem.... calm..... about it."

"That's why I needed those three days. I cried and I cried and I cried and I punched the mirror but apparently I am weak cause I didn't even break it and I cried again..... Now I feel like I don't have any more tears..... Plus I talked it over with my parents... I mean dad and he made me feel better..."

Sungmin chuckled. "That is so like you."

"Now moving onto the second subject..... I have something to ask you..."

"Go right away!!!!"

"Are you and Heechul dating?" - I said in a low whisper. Sungmin stopped eating and I could see panic rise in his eyes.

"How did.... d-did you know?" - He looked around making sure no one heard him.

"Apparently Hongki - Lee Hongki - confessed to Heechul and he rejected him saying that he already had a boyfriend - you."

"Oh god.... Nobody was supposed to find out!!! Did Hongki tell you that???"

"Nope.... His friends were talking about it....."

"Did anybody else hear them???" - He looked so worried.

"Don't think so...."

"Crap-crap-crap!!!!!"

"Calm down hyung..... I don't think Hongki is interested in spreading his embarassement around the school..... But is it true?"

"What is?"

"The fact that... you know... you are with .... him?" - This was mega awkward. Sungmin signed.

"No.... It's all a lie..... But if anyone asks you - we are so together!!!!"

"I see" - I smiled. I didn't want hyung to date that guy..... they wouldn't look good together....

Suddenly the chair next to me was pulled away and someone sat in it.

Lee Hyukjae.... With blond hair? In the three days that I was gone that dyed his hair. As if he wasn't noticed before and now!!! He's like an eyesmagnet....

"Hey Donghae!" - Sungmin looked curiously inbetween us. Then Eunhyuk looked at Sungmin and pointed at me  - "Can I talk to him in private......?"

Sungmin looked at me and mouthed a "Hwaiting" before standing up, nodding to Eunhyuk and going away. I looked at his retreating figure. Crap....

"Why did you skip practice today?" - I turned to Eunhyuk only to meet his determined dark orbs that seemed to me in...

"My dad couldn't drive me...." - Lame excuse but it's better than nothing. Eunhyuk raised an eyebrow.

"Really?" - I nodded. - "You live 20 minutes away..... Is your love for dancing that small that you aren't willing to walk or take a bus."

"My love for dancing is real let me tell you" - I snapped back 

"Then prove it by showing up to practice...." - I narrowed my eyes.

"Who died and made you my boss?" - It came out harsher than I expected it too. Eunhyuk's eyes widened in surprisse but soon went back to being calm.

"Since you were gone you probably didn't know but as if 5 days ago I am officially the vice-captain of the dance club." - I let out a small growl.... In the end it sounded more like a mewl.... Epic fail.... - "So will you show up for the afternoon practice, your highness?"

I hated the sarcasm in his voice - it made me feel so mad and angry and... so vulnerable. I felt tears stinging my eyes.

Eunhyuk seemed to sense it as his eyes softened. "I an sorry.... It's just with the whole competition coming up an me suddenly becoming the vice-captain..... I an just stressed.... But I shouldn't have ....... Here you go a tissue" - he handed me a small tissue but I just pushed it away with my hand.

"Don't need it" - be manly, stay strong....

"Yeah right.... You have tears in your eyes... No need to act tough...." - he yet again pushed it towards me but this time I accepted it. As I wiped my eyes and sniffed, Eunhyuk kept staring at me. - "So can I count on you today?"

I shook my head lightly. Eunhyuk signed.

"Tomorrow?" - he stood up. I thought about it for a while before sniffing and nodding. Eunhyuk smiled and slightly ruffled my hair which made me look at him surprised by the gesture. He seemed surprised as well. He let out a low cough. I averted my gaze on the tissue in my hands.

"Can you please not tell Hyoyeon-noona I was in school..." - Eunhyuk laughed and I slightly glared at him.

"Sure. I think Hyo will believe me." - Suddenly the bell rang - "Well I better run. See you tomorrow. It's a promise!" - and he was off.

I glared at his retreating back. Hyo? How close was he with Hyoyeon-noona? And I actually thought he was a decent guy right now...

In this world there were several people who believed in me: my parents, Sungmin and Hyoyeon. It's only natural that I love my aprents and I consider Sungmin as my very close friend. However Hyoyeon I someone really special to me.

The feelings I harboured towards my noona were so special that I had never told anyone about them. They were so precious that I was too afraid to share them with anybody afraid that they will break something so pure and amazing. I never thought it was a crush. It was love - it had to be. I was constantely tortured by either jealousy of seeing someone with Hyoyeon or by my own fear of being rejected which always crushed my determination to confess.

And yet here he comes - Lee Hyukjae - calling my noona just Hyo. There was a sense of familarity and trust in those three letters. Something that I didn't manage to accomplish in a year.

Lee Hyukjae.... Was stealing my spot in the club really not enough?