Noise overwhelmed me, Key’s nagging, JongHyun’s shot backs, Minho and Onew’s laughter and the most resounding of all, Taemin’s silence.

Breakfast with SHINee had always been vivacious but it isn’t the same to me anymore.

“Yah! What’s that on your neck Shinye?” Key asked.

I looked down to my plate embarrassed.

“Baboya, you should know a love bite when you give me one”, Jong Hyun replied.

“OMo Onew hyung! Finally you’ve unleashed that side huh? About time but isn’t it ia though hyung?” Key wouldn’t let it go.

“Onew isn’t that old. I expected you to be open minded”, Jong Hyun wouldn’t stop interfering.

“Dino, I haven’t ask you a question, why do you keep answering when your answers aren’t needed”.

“No one’s answering you. Would you rather be ignored?, you hate it”

Key turned to Taemin who was busy sipping his coffee. “So Taeminnie, what have you got to say to your dongsaeng?”

I looked at him with eagerness, hoping he’d be bothered or whatever. I just needed a reassurance that he cares somehow.

“It’s her life, she can do as she please”, he didn’t even look up from his cup.

…………………………………………………………………………………...............................

Taemin possessed the capacity to defibrillate my dysrythmic heart; unfortunately, he’d rather attend to Minho whenever he is hypoventilating. That is cruel of him, why can’t he just ask Minho to blow on a bottle like little kids do?

He left me famished but then a new treatment came. Onew’s effect on me is synonymous to a patient receiving a total parenteral nutrition. He became the amino acid, glucose and lipid that traveled to the superior vena cava of my heart and before I knew it, he had nurtured every single cell in my body.

It was SHINee’s five year anniversary. I wanted to go but I insisted that I didn’t want to. Onew wouldn’t hear a word of it so I ended up sitting in the far end corner trying to ignore the deafening screams of these Shawols. 

The Q and A portion finally started.

“Does someone occupy your heart right now?” The host asked.

“Do you even need to ask?” Key said, Jong Hyun looked at him and smiled.

“Neh”, Onew said.

“What drew you to her?”

“She didn’t even have to make an effort, when I saw her chocolate brown eyes, I just knew right then and there that I wanted those eyes to keep looking back at me. She’s scared, and I have this unexplainable urge to protect her. She’s fragile, she needs to be handled with total care. Her tears are the last thing I wanted to see. I love to make her laugh because her laughter is the most fascinating sound there is. Her failed attempt at singing, I have it on replay. She loves so many things except herself. She doesn’t know that she’s beautiful, I have to keep reminding her everyday but still she would forget about it like she has amnesia. If she does have one, I want her to remember one thing. She’s worth it. She thinks I’d rather kiss a chicken but the truth is I’m the chicken who didn’t have the courage to confess until now.”

I don’t know if my heart has the capacity to handle this, this is just too much. Too much that I think my heart have doubled in size just to compensate for what Onew did to it.

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I never should have seen it, how the hell am i supposed to say it to my brother without him thinking that I’m doing this to hurt him? Was it fate? Is destiny giving me a weapon to save Taemin from misery or to deliver him to it?

I knew that Minho was a hyung but never did occur to me that he’d actually change his preference. It really came as a surprise when I saw him indulging with Suli. He never even tried to explain his infidelity; he simply stared at me waiting for some sort of reaction.  He just watched me walk away. 

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The next chapter would be the last one.

Review oficially started. My mind was stained with all sorts of colors. I wonder, is teaching somehow more effective if you use hormonal needs to crack the class? I mean the hall was infested with endorphins and it kept us alert and awake maybe my brain isnt that used to dirty stuffs.