I used to sink in serotonin, my life was a pessimistic and I obsessed for things that were too abstract to even grasp. Then my oxytoxin level peaked drastically, it continued to rise with Tae Min’s electric touch. However, it didn’t last long, which is not surprising and I self diagnosed myself with Takotsubo cardiomyopathy.

 

I was awakened from my deep slumber as the morning light gradually crept to my room. An extra hour of sleep was all I needed, what I wanted. But somehow this morning just felt different, it was glowing, like it held something in store for me, waiting to be realized. The soft mattress was engulfing me, claiming me as its own. I closed my sleepy eyes again. Warm air blew on my neck, I sensed a pattern of rise and fall in my peripheral vision, a balmy touch was against my back and a familiar arm was resting softly around my waist.

 

I carefully lifted the hand and slowly turned.

 

The sight of a sleeping angel was something I could never get used to. Devouring on his innocence and admiring his delicate features, it fills me inside with immense bliss.

 

I ruffled his auburn hair; ralles were produced due to friction. His eyelids sluggishly opened and I saw my reflection on his dark pupils. He smiled from ear to ear and as if they were contagious, I smiled back.

 

“ What are you doing here Tae?”

 

“ Tell me”

 

“Did you sleep walk?”

 

“I don’t think so, I never sleep walked before”

 

“So how did you end up in my bed?”

 

“I miss you”

 

“You shouldn’t

 

“Why not?”

 

“Get out”

 

“It’s my house”

 

“It’s my room”

 

“I miss you”

 

“Don’t do this again Taemin”

 

“Do what?”

 

“Drown me with Endorphins”

 

He broke his gaze and he looked up to the white ceiling. He sighed.

“I caught Minho with Suli, I guess somehow, deep down I just knew something changed but I chose to be ignorant hoping that if I never say it out loud it would never be real.”

 

“That’s terrible, I thought you guys are incapable of separation. So what happens now?”

 

He shook his head then turned to me. “Distract me”

 

I stared at him in question.

 

“Kiss me”, he said.

 

I lifted my chin and leaned forward to peck his forehead. I was about to get up when he pulled me.

 

“Breakfast in bed?”

 

We spent the day like lazy monkeys. We watched movies, played jenga, 4 pics one word. We talked about my parents, I couldn’t help but shed some tears, I asked about his future plans, I couldn’t stop but be influenced by his enthusiastic thoughts. He has this overflowing optimism, he is living in his very own utopia. I tried to blemish his positivity but I ended up being stained with it. I told him about Gail and he promised to give G-dragon a call. We made home videos. He forced me to sing Lucifer, he taught me the steps but then he realized that both my feet are left so we retired to the bed laughing. Our phones were left forgotten, the door remained locked and our pajamas were left unchanged. We were back to where we were before, back when things were uncomplicated and natural. Sadly living in the past and refusing the present only had a shelf life of hours. Reality catches up until it hits you square in the face.

 

 My cell phone rang and Onew’s sweet voice greeted me.

 

“Aneoyong”, he said.

 

“Hi oppa”

 

“Are you still in bed?”

 

“Howd’ you know that?”

 

“ I can smell Taemin, can I talk to him?”

 

“Ne”, I gave Taemin my phone, confused and scared.

 

I could hear the Onew’s muffled voice and Taemin’s vague answers. He hung up and that is when Taemin hugged me.

 

“Onew hyung planned everything Shinye”

 

“What do you mean? He fed me with lies?”

 

“Not lies, he said he couldn’t stand to watch us be fools so he interfered.”

 

I didn’t want to believe it. He cared for me, I felt it down to my bones, his naïve to carnal kisses, and they meant something. Every moment we spent together was not just a charade, they can’t just be empty.

 

“I think I need to think for awhile Tae.”

 

“Why?.... is it possible..have you fallen for Onew hyung?”

 

Those were the words a dreaded to hear.

 

“I don’t feel nothing about him, if that’s what you’re asking. What did you expect that I’d wait around for you? He was always there for me, and you wouldn’t even say a word to me. As if I never existed at all. Why’d you do that Tae? I confessed to you, so what? You shut me out”.

 

 “The morning after you confessed, I saw you guys hugging. I always have a weird feeling clenching my chest whenever he goes out excited. I thought that it was guilt but then I saw you yesterday in his room and I was certain of one thing. Jealousy. The things he said during the anniversary, I felt those things too, only differently.”

 

I wanted to believe his overwhelming words, but I knew better than to drown myself consciously twice.

 

“You just broke it off with Minho, I can’t be your rebound.” He wanted to say something more but I told him to leave me with my thoughts for a while.

 

I called Onew.

 

“Why did you lie to me?”

 

“I didn’t Shinye, but I knew my dongsaengs too well to identify where I belong. I hope you understand, Taemin just needed a little push and now I’ll leave it for you to work out.”

 

“ I nearly fell for you oppa”

 

“Ahhh. I knew no one could resist Jinki, which is why I rarely expose him. Maybe this time I could shrug off my little crush on you. Take a risk Shinye”

 

“I’m scared”

 

“That’s when you know that it’s worth it”

……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….

 

I went to Gail’s house, she hugged me as soon as I was inside.

 

“Shinye, you’re the best! G Dragon greeted me at the Music bank earlier, I can’t take you enough. Now I can peacefully leave the earth”

 

“Good, let’s go buy a coffin”

 

“So who is my chinggu ending up with?”

 

“No one, it’s just too soon you know. The wave crashed to me and I’m supposed to dive back in again?”

 

“But you are in the terminal stage of Lee Tae Min disease, it’s time to undergo that surgery Shinye”.

………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………

Morning greeted me again, I was struggling to keep my eyes shut because a pair of eyes were watching me.

 

“I know you’re awake”, Tae min said.

 

I opened my eyes, I saw him yawn, I yawned too.

 

“Yawning is contagious,” I told him.

 

“What are you doing in my bed Shinye?”

 

“Tell me”

 

“Did you sleep walk again?”

 

“Yah!! I never sleep walked before, babo”

 

“Right, I forgot, you don’t, you just snore”

 

“And you sleep like you’re dancing, seriously I wasn’t able to sleep”

 

“It didn’t stop you from crashing here, what are you really doing here?”

 

“I miss you too”, I could hardly meet his gaze.

 

“Ah, I thought you were gonna say you’re hypoventilating”, he said smirking. He gently peck my forehead. The contact was minimal but it still made my heart beat race.

By the looks of it, my palpitations might take awhile before ceasing.

 

This bliss is temporary; maybe I should have waited for time to put me into place. After all, when destiny plays its part, no one stood a chance. But I couldn’t take the risk to wait for my destiny any longer. I needed to make my own destiny.   

 

..............................

This fic is done at last. 

Sorry to disappoint readers but i had fun writing this.

I think i'll stop writig OC for a while though.