“What are you going to do now? You just threw away your happiness because you couldn’t get your head straight?!” Wonwoo yelled through Kijoon’s house. Her parents and siblings hadn’t arrived from their day activities. Kijoon cried stuck in one spot while Wonwoo paced. “What even goes on in your head? You think up all these crazy things all the time and they bring Mingyu and I into this separate world where everything is great, but all you can think of in this reality is ways to screw it up!”

“It’s not my fault!” Kijoon screamed clenching her fist and stomping her feet.

“I’m not babying you like he does Kijoon!” He yelled stepping closer to her. “Why did you leave him? He’s completely torn up right now.”

Kijoon thrashed her body around in a child’s tantrum. “Why does it matter to you!?” She cried falling to the ground.

Wonwoo only yelled louder, “Why are you crying like this?! You are being such a child.” Kijoon cradled her legs to her chest breathing heavily. “At this rate we are never going to end up as we were before the summer.” Wonwoo mumbled starting to ease up. “What are you thinking?”

“I want to die.” Kijoon huffed into her legs hiccupping mid sentence. Wonwoo’s face softened and he wrapped his arms around Kijoon.

“Don’t say that. You just really hurt Mingyu and both him and I don’t know why you did it. He needs some kind of answer.” Kijoon’s hair stuck to her face in a mix of sweat and tears.

“Why do you have to yell about it? You know I hate it when people yell at me.” Kijoon sobbed some more into her knees.

“I yell because you don’t give me answers. Look at me,” Wonwoo tilted up Kijoon’s face. “Give me an answer and I won’t yell. Why did you break it off with him?” Kijoon ran her fingers through her hair aggressively.

“I don’t know,” She whined for the 30^th time. Wonwoo clenched his jaw removing his arms from around her and continued pacing.

“Why-!” he began to yell then bit his lip, lowering his voice “Why do you never know? Every question I ask its ‘I don’t know’.” Kijoon covered her face, “You never make a decision on anything that’s positive. Why can’t you just tell me what was going on in your head when you were making that decision?!”

Kijoon got to her feet to sit on the chair in the living room. Her breaths stuttered with every step she took, “I don’t want to talk about this.” She said looking up at Wonwoo through her latest set of tears.

Wonwoo stood in front of her, “If we don’t talk about it, then who are you going to tell it to? Mingyu? Don’t think so.” Kijoon pouted closing her eyes. “Tell me, Kijoon. You can’t just hid stuff away. Whenever something big happens like this you don’t tell me anymore.” Kijoon whimpered.

“I can’t tell you.”

“Why?!” Wonwoo returned to his first form of speaking. Kijoon toppled over driving her face into the sofa cushions.

She bellowed her response into the padding. “It’s something I have to deal with myself first.”

“Remember last time I let you do that?”

Kijoon lay awake for the third night in a row. “Wonwoo?” She whispered into the microphone in her hand. The steady humming from the other side showed no sign that Wonwoo was fully awake when he answered his phone. “Wonwoo I hurt myself.”

“How’d you do that?” He answered groggily. It was just after two in the morning. Kijoon’s voice broke into a weary mourn,

“With the curling iron.” The line crackled with Kijoon’s sniffles. “Wonwoo, it’s all up my thigh.” Kijoon fumbled her hand along the ridges in her skin cringing at the pain.

“You should be more careful if you are managing to burn your thighs.” Wonwoo was a little more awake every second.

“Wonwoo?” Kijoon’s voice went solid and cold, “I did it on purpose.”

“I don’t do that anymore.” Kijoon spit out hurt mentally. “I stopped last year after we-“

“Got in a relationship, I know. But you don’t know it’s not going to happen. Just open up to me like you used to. Tell me so I don’t have to worry and I can figure out something to tell Mingyu.”

Kijoon took a deep breath and held it in for as long as she could. Her heart skipped a couple beats until it nearly burst from lack of oxygen. “I just can’t control my feelings. I don’t know how to feel about Mingyu,” Wonwoo went back to hugging Kijoon tightly. She eased into his chest as he kissed the top of her head. “I don’t know how I feel about him because every time you’re around, I think about how we used to be.  How can I go on and be in a relationship with Mingyu if I still have feelings for you?”

Her fingers gripped onto Wonwoo’s shirt tightly. Wonwoo focused on Kijoon’s face. It looked like her tears dug trenches on her cheeks from her extensive crying. Wonwoo wiped her cheeks with her thumbs. He sat her straight in front of him so he could look at her face.

It was clear that Kijoon did not make an attempt to make herself socially appropriate this morning. Her hair frizzed out in all different directions and was knotted at the ends, dark bags hung under her eyes, she wore her glasses unlike most days, and she hadn’t bothered apply makeup. Wonwoo sighed looking at her; his attitude towards the situation had done a complete turnaround.

His hands were attached to both sides of her face. Kijoon’s eyes were half closed from exhaustion. Wonwoo hated to see her so broken but he knew he caused it this time. He closed in the space between their bodies, holding her tightly again. It was then he found it the perfect opportunity to bring his face close to hers. “We’ll get through this.” He whispered kissing her lips softly.