Ilhoons POV

It's kind of hard to explain how I feel right now....  

I've been watching changseob for quite a while, and now that he's finally noticed me, I'm not sure how to feel. I'm happy; I'm scared. I can't decide. When I first joined BTOB my feelings towards him were terrifying. I'm a guy, enjoying my youth, and suddenly this other guy comes into my life and I find myself completely and utterly attracted to him.  

It just didn't seem right. But now here I am, laying with him in his bunk in our dorm, shirtless and out of breath.

-(A.N~ yes, I told you to let your imaginations run wild, but my imagination restricted them to keeping it 'above the waist')-

Changseob...  

I like him. 

Why, though? I've asked myself this question every day since I began liking him, and the answer I keep coming back to is that he is simply himself, and nobody else. He's real, in a world full of fakers. I'm amazed that nobody else has realized that yet. 

He's perfect to me, even if he has awful skin, a naturally lazy voice, and doesn't have the best body in the world. A little bit of imperfection in the 'perfect' idol life makes it seem... Better. For lack of a better word. 

I let out a contented sigh and snuggle closer to Changseobs side. He laughs softly and plants an exaggerated kiss on the top of my head. 

He's awkward, but I love that about him. His awkwardness brings out my awkwardness as well. I usually like to think of myself as charismatic and confident, but when I'm with Changseob I turn into an unsure and inexperienced teenager. 

I'm not used to not being able to control my emotions... 

"I'm insulted. You zoned out while we were cuddling." I hear Changseobs voice and I come back to reality. At first I think he's serious so I snap my head up and look into his eyes for forgiveness. Then I realize that he's smiling and that his hands have slid from my back down to my waist and he's currently pulling himself closer to me. 

"I guess I have no other choice, I'll have to force your attention back to me." He mocks annoyance but ends up smiling and he laughs at the end of his statement. I grin and just continue to look at him, my expression radiating innocence. 

"Tch... Your cute!" He suddenly exclaims and rolls on top of me. 

"Hmm." I reply. 

"Pabo, this is when you're supposed to say 'so are you my dear Changseob'." 

I can't help but laugh. He's ridiculous, and he knows it. 

"Hyung..." I begin and then stop. 

"What?" 

"....Kiss me." 

"So greedy..." He replies, but he does as I asked and leans down to kiss me. He's an amazing kisser. Better than most of the girls I've kissed. Maybe it's just a guy thing? 

Whatever it is, I like it and I want as much as I can get. Kissing seems like such an innocent and plain thing to do, but with him it feels interesting and exotic. 

Yes, exotic. No matter how strange that word sounds. 

We stay that way; kissing and cuddling in the dorm, until a sudden noise makes us both jump. 

"What was that...?" I whisper to Changseob. He's looking around the dark room curiously, trying to identify the noise that we just heard. 

"I think it was.... Oh crap..." Suddenly he bolts out of the bed and flings himself towards his own bed. He pulls the blankets up over his head just as the door to the room opens and the rest of the BtoB members walk in. 

Oh. It was the front door that we heard.... I stare dumbfounded at the members as I silently thank Changseob for being smarter than me. If he hadn't moved, they would have seen us.... 

My palms begin to sweat, and my heartbeat quickens in fear. What if they still somehow find out?? What if they wonder why I'm not sleeping, yet I'm in my bed, with the lights off. with no shirt on... 

That last part hopefully won't be a problem because nobody ever has their shirts on in this dorm anyway. 

"Uuugh, I'm stuffed!!!" Minhyuk groans as he trudges into the room.  

"I could still eat more!" Sungjae exclaims, proudly. 

Eunkwang laughs as he trudges in as well and says, "You're lucky to still be growing." 

Hyunsik and Peniel enter behind them nodding in agreement as they rub their full bellies in pain. 

Hyunsik sees me laying awake, and smirks at me. 

"Are you watching your lover sleep, Ilhoonie?" 

I know that he's just referring to the joke he made earlier that day, but it still makes my heartbeat quicken even more and I have to fight hard to not show how much his words affected me. Acting abilities really pay off in these situations...  

"Of course." I force myself to laugh and smile jokingly. The others don't seem to think anything strange is going on because they just laugh tiredly and begin to get changed. I breath a silent sigh of relief and lay down under my blankets. I can't sleep yet though... My mind is racing with adrenaline and thoughts of Changseob. It's not a new occurrence, but tonight I have a feeling that I won't be able to sleep because of it. My gaze keeps drifting towards where Changseob is "sleeping" and I wish that the others hadn't come home yet. I tear my eyes away from him, just in case someone notices, and I find myself looking at a strange scene... 

Minhyuk and Eunkwang are sitting on Eunkwangs bed together, which isn't out if the ordinary, but what is strange is the way they are sitting. They're close. And Eunkwang has his hand resting on Minhyuks leg. Also, the way that they are looking at each other is weird too. I knew that they were close, but I didn't know that they were actually THAT close. I probably would never have noticed before, but after what happened with Changseob tonight, I kind of have a sense for those kinds of feelings. Or maybe I'm just paranoid? 

Maybe... 

I close my eyes and try to sleep. 

Thinking too hard won't do me any good, I just want to be happy for now. 

I replay the nights events in my head and I eventually fall asleep with my mouth curved in a smile and a blush creeping across my cheeks.