BANG YONG GUK’S POV

I woke up on that bench.

I felt tired and hungry, my eyes couldn’t opened naturally because of crying.

Maknae ah… how were you huh?

I looked through the ER door and you were still there. You were still fighting with the Death. Your eyes were still closed peacefully. Your chest step by step gasped so hard by the dephibrilator.My heart cried when I saw your gasps.

“ Maknae ah… You need to be alive, you hear me!”

Suddenly, you fainted, you lay in the victim’s bed softly. Your face seemed so fade.

“ Maknae ah… what’s wrong with you huh?” – Immediately, I ran into the ER door and knocked it so hard. I knocked with my disappointment. I was in my panic. My eyes turned red but I didn’t cry. Or exactly I couldn’t cry anymore. The thought “ you will leave me” covered up my mind.

“ Maknae ah…please…please tell me that you are still alive.”

Everything turned black and I fainted.

On a rainy day, I fell for you
We used to love each other so much
It didn’t seem like we had to do this
So my heart hurts so much

I woke up in the white bed with a fluids system prodded in my hand. How could I be there?

“ Maknae….maknae” – I whispered

I drained this hell system away my hand and went straight to your room.

Maknae ah… you were still there, weren’t you? You didn’t leave me alone, did you?

I opened the door silently and approached your bed.

My god, you were still lying there and breathing. It meant you were still here with me.

People don’t believe in miracle. But I did. I usually prayed for some awesome things to happen.

I took your hand. It was a little warm maknae ah.

A smile was on my face but tears were in my heart.

I cried again because of you but this time was in the different situation.

I cried because I felt happy when you still here with me.

I put a light kiss on your hand. It was too sweet!

Luckily, your fingers moved. I widened my eyes in happiness.

Immediately I ran as fast as I could to call the doctors.

“ Maknae ah… you are very good”- I smiled.

“ Congratulation, he have escaped from the hell”- The doctors congratuled you on passing your difficulties.

“ Really, doctor?”- Thank god, you heard me!

“ Yes, but we have to wait untill he cover up completely”- he patted on my back to encourage me to wait for you. I just smiled and nodded happilly.

“ It is just a little thing doctor”- I replied.

The doctors had left the room, I sat down near your bed and hold your hand very tight. I put it on my cheek. It have been a long time since you said goodbye to me that I could hold your hand like this again.

Maknae ah… did you know how I felt?

“ Happy?” – “ No” – I shook my head.

“Sad”- “ Of course no”

No words could describe my feeling then.

It was a little happy and a little sad.

“ Maknae ah… when you wake up, who will you find first, me or Himchan?”- I myself wondered.

Thought about this, a tear fell down from my eyes through your hand. Could you feel it?

Suddenly your eyes moved. It opened little by little.

Maknae… you were escaping from the hell… you were living gradually.

But…who were you looking for? I was sitting next to you but you didn’t looked at me in spite of just a glance. Were you looking for him?

“ Is there anyone around me?” – You asked.

What was on the Earth? You couldn’t see me? Maknae ah… did you really hate me that I was blured in your eyes like that?

“ Please some one turn on the lights for me, it is too dark for me to see” – You jittered. “ Please… please anyone answered me”- You said with a shaked voice and tears were on your face.

Strangely,  all the lights were , why didn’t you see that?

Suddenly, you caught my hand when I intended to call the doctors outside.

“ Please, turn on the light for me, I beg” – You insisted me. “ I’m so scare of darkness” – You sobbed.

“ Stay here maknae, I will call the doctor” – Having released your held, I went to call a doctor. “ Don’t be afraid, I will never let you go” – I whispered.

“ We are very sorry, it’s the comes of the accident. When he had been bumped by the car, a peace of glass had prodded his eyes, so….” – The doctor couldn’t complete his sentence after checking your health.

“ You mean I’m blinded?” – You asked unbelievably.

“ Sorry but this is the truth.”- The doctor sighed.

“ No, don’t give us a joke like that sir” – I said. “ You need to help him cause you’re doctor” – I took his neck and warned him. He was a little scared by my action.

“ We will help him if some one offer him strong eyes. We will try our best so stay heathy.”

After saying those words, he left us. There were just you and I in the room. There was no emotions in your eyes. Just coldness and ice. You must be hurt so much!

“ Maknae ah… I’m so sorry”- I sobbed.

“Hyung ah… I’m blinded?” – Suddenly you asked me with a soft voice.

“No, maknae ah… you aren’t….”

“  Don’t lie to me, I can’t see anything” – You cut my sentence with a disappointed voice.

You started throwing things, you broke everything which you could reach. It meant you was really hopeless. I was so scared of your actions. I hugged you very tight to calm you down.

“ Junhong ah… don’t be like this. It’s my fault” – I cried.

“ Stay away from me, hyung” – You warmed.

You widen your eyes crazily. Eventhough you didn’t look at me but I could feel the anger from your eyes.

God, why did you treated us badly like that huh?

Why did Junhong had to be like that?

God, you were too cruel to him, weren’t you?

“ I will call Himchan for you” – I suggested.

“ No, please don’t call him hyung ah” – You begged. “ I don’t want to meet him in this situation”

“ But he is your boyfriend” – I replied with a sad voice.

“ Not anymore hyung ah” – You said in tears and it shocked me so much.

“ Huh?”- I frowned and widened my eyes

“Not anymore” 

You slowly fell asleep after broking those things. Your face was beautiful like an angel when you sleep but, God, where were his wings. Now, he lost his own things, his ways, and his life.

It was my fault. Please God tell me what I should do?

I was the one who gave him the worst things so please help me solve it.

I lost my way, I couldn’t control myself anymore.

****

“ Hyung ah…where are you? I’m scared! Don’t leave my alone here hyung ah” – You nearly cried when I left you alone in the ghost house. “ Hyung ah… where are you, darkness was around me so I can’t see you. I’m scared of darkness. Please don’t leave me here”

“ Haha maknae ah… your are too craven. I’m here”- I laughed out loud when I see your scared face.

Having caught me on your arms, you started beating me really hard.

“ Don’t you dare leave me like that again!” – You warmed with so sobbed voice.

“ Haha ok ok…but why are you afraid of darkness” – I asked curiously.

A little silence, you answered:

“ I’m imaginable boy so I always see the bad things in darkness”

I wiped your tears out and said;

“ Ok ok…hyung never leave you alone.” – I put a light kiss on your cheek.

****

“ Junhong ah…I will solve my fault. I will find the light for you. So wait for me!”