Give me love: Chapter 8



She’s fast asleep. I shuddered remembering her earlier. She looked insane! The way she laughed, will be etched in my memory forever, my dear JooHyun… what if I wasn’t there to help you?

Would you… still be alive? I shook my head. No, she’s alive and well, I arrived on time. She’s okay.
I hit a red light; I stared at her sleeping face, took the mask off and drove towards her house. I carried her in. she stirred a little.

*hope she doesn’t wake up…

I tucked her into bed. I took a rose and placed it beside her, hope she sees this when she wakes up.

I don’t want to go yet… I decided to stay for a little while. I went out to the balcony, Geez, it’s still a full moon. I sat down on the railings, remembering what happened.

I saw Seo in the club and saw that she was well and dancing, happy even, I decided to go, and that I had enough stalking for tonight. On my way home, I felt something was wrong so I drove back.

I couldn’t find Seo in the club, I went out to look for her and saw that bastard groping her. Fury flashed through me, I should have killed the man.

SeoHyun… seeing her break down like that, brings up all my worst fears. Will you also break down like that when I tell you the truth? Or will you shut me out like you did with the man.

I’m afraid Seo, seeing you earlier, brought all my hidden fears to surface. I don't know what to do anymore; I don’t want to lose you.

*cough cough... dammit, it’s so cold here. I heard the lamps switch flick, I quickly put on my mask.

“Why are you still out here?” I heard her footsteps coming closer. I just shrugged.

“Komawo.” I faced her; she didn’t look at me but at somewhere else. “For saving me, Komawo.”

I turned my back to her. she continued walking towards me, sitting on the railings beside me she asked, “Do you believe in angels?” Angels? Do I believe in angels? I do.

I’m sitting next to one right now.

“Do you?” I asked her back not answering her question. She nodded “uhuh…”

“I’m sitting next to one right now.” that caught me off guard. I stared at her face, I can see her blush. She’s smiling to herself. I wish I could make you smile like that.

She looks so beautiful, she sighed and slowly put her head on my right shoulder. Her tears, it was dripping on my shoulder, “It’s been a while since I first saw you…” I didn’t say anything. “I thought you were many things, but after today… I think god sent me you, to be my angel.” I felt her smile.

SeoHyun… I’m no angel. Actually I’m the opposite, I just wanted to hold you, have time with you, taste those lips just for this one moment, aching for you to give me love. 

I exhaled deeply. I’m becoming greedy. Maybe I should let you go…

I stood up and walked towards the door going out.

*Don’t look back, don’t look back…. I willed myself to not look back.

I stopped walking. “SeoHyun…” I said, a tear escaping my eyes.

She hugged me from behind, “please, just let me hold you. Just for tonight, a little more time.”

Her grip tightened. I wish she would hold me like this forever, but no… memories of her earlier flooded my mind. I have to go. I can’t bear to see her like that again.

Go, now or else if this continues, I won’t have the remaining strength to let go…

I faced her this time, wiped away her tears then gave her another rose.

I left. I actually left her there, without looking back I went out.



Oh god, I’ve ventured too close to the edge, now I’ve fallen into the deep abyss.

I went home and grabbed some whiskey from the bar counter. Not bothering to get a glass, I drank straight from the bottle.

Seo JooHyun, please forgive me. I didn’t do anything.

I drank more of it… banging the bar counter, I kept hoping and praying SeoHyun please forgive me. 

Tipping the bottle of whiskey, I drank it ‘til the last drop.

I just wanted to be with you, I didn’t mean it to be like this. What have you done to me?
What I have and will do to you will only hurt you more. Can you take it hyun?

I kept falling and falling into the abyss wondering when will I hit the ground and die. It seemed endless.

Will you break down like that? I thought you were strong, I thought I was strong, it turns out either one of us is.

The more I will be with you, the more everything comes back, FRESH. It cuts through my heart.

I threw the bottle to the wall, “HYUN PLEASE FORGIVE ME!” I wailed knowing that no one could hear me, I was all alone now. The way it should be...

All I wanted was for you to love me but it seems impossible now…

I broke down and howled, crying myself to sleep. "Love me please..."