Chapter 10
Give me love
Give me love: Chapter 10
I woke up. What time is it? Ugh, my head hurts like hell. I sat up in bed, I saw SeoHyun sitting on the chair across the room, staring at me. Her eyes seem swollen; I stood up “Hyun, have you been cr-ying?”
I stopped walking when I saw what she was holding. “Where did you get that?” I had nothing else to say.
She stood up and slapped me hard. “HOW DARE YOU!?” this is it, it’s the turning point.
“SeoHyun I…” I didn’t know what to tell her.
“STOP IT YONG! STOP WITH THE SEOHYUN PLEASE, SEOHYUN THAT! HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO ME?” She looked at my eyes, so cold, and for once I’m scared. I couldn’t move from where I was standing. The burning pain in my cheek was nothing compared to my anticipating fear.
“I… didn’t mean to.” That angered her more. She put her hands in her hair, frustrated.
“Didn’t mean to? YOU PLANNED THE WHOLE THING! BULL YONG!” no seo, I didn’t plan this. It just turned out to be this way. “DID YOU THINK THAT YOU COULD GET AWAY WITH THIS WITHOUT ME KNOWING!? DO YOU THINK IM THAT STUPID!? HUH YONG? PLAYING WITH MY FEELINGS LIKE THAT.”
She shook her head and tears started pouring. SeoHyun… I went closer to her and hugged her. “DON’T TOUCH ME! Don’t you dare touch me again!” She pushed me, I stepped back a little. “Nee gah shil uh… (I hate you…)” she was crying harder now. Her words hurt me, cutting deep into my heart; I think I won’t be able to recover from this pain. Hyun… I’m sorry.
She wiped her tears and got her bag. NO! DO SOMETHING YONG! MOVE! She’s going to leave me…
I rushed to her side and grabbed her wrist dragging her, “YAH! DON’T TOUCH ME!”
I pushed her in the car, without saying a word I closed the door shut. I floored the pedal, I’m so sorry hyun… but you have to know why. “LET ME OUT!” She screamed but didn’t try to fight.
“No.” You are going with me, that is final. I can’t stand to lose you without you knowing the truth…
We arrived at the cemetery. I parked the car and got out. I kneeled before a grave; she got out and saw where I was kneeling. She had her hands on but she walked closer.
I paid my respects and started talking,
“Aunt, I’m sorry for disturbing you… can you see us from where you are now? I’m sorry I couldn’t keep my promise.” My tears started to drop. “I tried protecting her, I really did but I messed up again. I keep on messing up. I hurt her so much. I’m so sorry, I’M SORRY I COULDN’T PROTECT HER FROM MYSELF.” I said bowing down to the grave, crying senselessly. “I’m so sorry…” I failed you once again. I… I don’t know what to do anymore. “I love her so much…. I’m sorry.”
“Why…? How…?” she asked me.
I tilted my head up and opened up my mouth to speak, “I remembered it like it was yesterday… My Umma and your mom used to be best friends, after my mom died your mom used to visit me often and take me out with her; she said I looked like my mother.”
“Morning Yongie, where do you want to go today?” I ran towards her and hugged her.
“The park auntie, I want to eat ice cream!” She reminds me so much of my mother. “Aigoo~ you really like ice cream don’t you?” I remember SeoHyun asking me the same kind of question; she really is her mother’s daughter. She bought me ice cream and we walked around the park for a bit. The same park where I took SeoHyun, I remember auntie giggling a lot.
I was energetic as a kid; I ran around a lot and got into trouble. Auntie would always be there for me.
One time when we were going home, she was holding my hand. A man grabbed her and held a knife to her neck, the man was asking for her purse then she would let her go. Auntie gave her purse willingly.
I was stupid. I was trying to be a hero like the one’s I see on TV. I ran after the man and bit his leg, he yelled “You little punk!” he was about to stab me. I closed my eyes waiting for it to hit me but all I felt was liquid dripping on my face, it’s warm. When I opened my eyes, it was auntie’s blood.
She let herself get stabbed in my place. She dropped to the ground. “Auntie! Auntie! HELP!” I yelled and people started to crowd around us. “Yongie, take care of JooHyun for me…” I held her hand but after she said those words, she stopped breathing. She’s dead. She died for me…. it was my entire fault. I tried to be a hero wanting to save the day but instead I let people get hurt and die for my sake.
Seo JooHyun. I promise auntie, I promise I’ll take care of her.
“Since then, I’ve been following you, watching you, and then maybe beyond me knowing, I was falling for you… For years, I became your shadow. Admiring you from afar, making sure you were safe. At first, it was because of my promise to your mother, and then I started caring more for you than I should…” I looked at her.
“When I was little, I spent so little time with my Umma. She was always so busy…” I stared at her, memorizing her features, maybe this will be the last time that I’ll be able to be with her like this.
She continued, “All along I thought she was busy with her work, and then it turns out to be you…”
“Hyun…”
“Ha, ha… such irony, she was taking care of you all along and one day all that came home was cold dead body. SHE DIED BECAUSE OF YOU.” I knew this all along… but why does her saying this hurts so much like the pain has been multiplied by a thousand times.
“Ha, ha ha…” she’s like that again. sinking into the ground. “HA HA HA!” she pulled pieces of grass and threw it into the air. “WHOOOO!” then she lied on the ground.
I tried coming closer to her. “Hyun… I’m so sorry.”
“Sorry? Can your sorry bring back my mother? Can your sorry erase the fact that you fooled me?” it’s true. Do you want me to leave hyun? Just tell me. I will leave tomorrow, no in fact I’ll take the next flight to wherever just to let you be happy again. Just say the words… The words I couldn’t dare ask you.
“I LOVED YOU.” SeoHyun added. She finally said it, the words I’ve been dying to hear but thought would never get from her. LOVED. I guess, she can’t bear to forgive me. Who would?
I should have died that day then maybe she wouldn’t be here like this in the cemetery with me.
“I had enough of this.” She stood up, dusted off her skirt and walked away.
I just have to know one thing before I never get to see her again.
“Wait, if you had to choose between the real man hiding behind the mask or the imposter behind the real man who would you choose?”
She stopped walking, she’s really considering on answering my question. Please, I have to know…
“I choose the man that kneels before my mother’s grave.” With that she ran. So if the situation was different and that if we were just a normal couple, she would have loved me but this is reality and the reality is, she could have loved me but I screwed up, big time. I hurt her beyond understanding.
It started raining again. I stayed there, feeling the rain. I remembered our first kiss, happy times.
I laid the mask and the card on the grave; I read the silver writings on the card one last time,
I’ll walk away now…
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