“Jiyong-ah…” Mrs. Kwon called her beloved son after she opened his bedroom door as she brings a bowl of chicken porridge which was Jiyong’s favorite. After a few steps, she can now see her son’s figure lying on his bed; his eyes are statically staring on the ceiling of his bedroom like he was spacing out from reality. A slight sigh slipped from Mrs. Kwon’s mouth as a thought entered her mind. ‘He must be thinking about her again…’

“Jiyong-ah…” Mrs. Kwon called him for the second time. “Hmm?” He answered, but his eyes were still locked with the ceiling like there were interesting things up there to be observed. “Look what I’ve brought, Jiyong-ah – your favorite porridge. Come on, let’s eat. I cooked it myself.” Mrs. Kwon persuaded him but he just shook his head refusing. However, she did not want to lose to her son’s stubbornness. “But you haven’t eaten for the past three days. It will harm your health.” She tried to make him understand that she really is concerned about him.

“I don’t want it…” Jiyong simply refused and ignored his mother’s concern. “So what do you want? I’ll try to bring it to you.” She said as she caressed his hair, hoping that it would soften his heart.

Jiyong shut his eyes close as calmness showed on his face. “I want CL…” He said in an almost whispering voice, “Can I, omma?”

Mrs. Kwon’s face started to redden when she heard her name. Yes, her. CL. “You can’t have her.” She replied in a cold tone which made Jiyong’s closed eyes widen in surprise. He sits up and looked at his mother’s face who positioned behind him at the very end of the bed. “Why? Why can’t I have her? Tell me… Please.” His eyes are already teary while his heart screamed for an answer.

‘Why? Why can’t I have the person I love?’

“Why don’t you just accept the reality, Jiyong-ah?” Jiyong stared at his mother, clueless. “What do you mean, omma? What reality? What is it? Tell me. Tell me, please.” He pleaded as he began to sob heavily. His mother took a deep breath as she tried to regain her patience.

“CL is gone.” She stared back at him emotionlessly to show him the harsh reality of his situation. “CL is gone? No way, omma! She told me that she would never leave me. Ever!” His sobs were replaced by crazy laughter as he tried to make his mother understand.

Mrs. Kwon grabbed Jiyong’s shoulders and shook him. “She’s gone, accept that, Jiyong-ah! The both of you had an accident three days ago and she died! You should be grateful that you’re still alive!” Her voice trembles as she tries to explain the real thing. She just can’t control her anger anymore.

It wasn’t just about Jiyong’s behavior that irritated her but even CL’s name.

Of course. She hates CL. ‘Even though you already died, I still can’t have a bit of peace in my life. Just like how you did when you were still alive.’

“Accident?” Jiyong’s voice snapped Mrs. Kwon back from her train of thoughts. However, this time – he sounded a lot more lost than he was before as he said, “Oh god. How can I forget that I’m the one who took away her life? How could I? I’m a murderer. Murderer. Kwon Jiyong – YOU’RE A MURDERER! ”

YOUNGBAE’S POV

“How could I? I’m a murderer. Murderer. Kwon Jiyong – YOU’RE A MURDERER!” I could hear his voice as I made my way towards his room.

Dara, who also decided to accompany me in visiting Jiyong stared at me when we caught a glimpse of how miserable Jiyong was while sitting on his bed – his hands, gripping his hair while saying that he’s a murderer. “He is still blaming himself for CL’s death, Youngbae-ah.” Her tears started to flow down.

At first, she was also mad with Jiyong because, she thought, it was because of him that CL, her best friend – died. But somehow, she’s now pitying Jiyong for blaming himself on how selfish he was that night. “Hey, don’t cry, okay? We need to support him right now. And he’ll blame himself more if he sees you crying over CL’s death.” I wiped her tears away before caressing her face to comfort her.

She inhaled deeply before holding my hand which was still on her face. “Okay, I’ll try.” She reassured me that she will not cry in front of Jiyong. “Good. That’s my strong girl.” I patted her head.

I knocked on Jiyong’s door – not wanting to be labeled as someone rude for entering without permission and when we entered, Mrs. Kwon’s faced looked relieved upon seeing us. “Youngbae-ah, I’m really glad that you came. I don’t know what to do with Jiyong anymore. Can I ask for your help to look after him for a while? I want to take a walk for some time to clear my mind and think of some ideas to make him eat something.” Mrs. Kwon said with a sad face. “He ate nothing for the past three days.” Honestly, she looked a lot older after worrying about Jiyong too much.

I reached out for Mrs. Kwon’s hand and held it gently. “Don’t worry, auntie. I’ll take care of him for you. He’s my best friend after all. Just don’t be too stressed, okay?” I flashed her a smile – trying to comfort her in my own way. She nodded weakly and stood up from Jiyong’s bed but before she left, she took a quick glance of him. Mrs. Kwon’s deep sigh didn’t escape me as she passed by.

I approached Jiyong who was now staring outside his window. He was sobbing. I stood beside him and hugged his shoulders, “Yah, Ji – what’s wrong?”

“I killed her, didn’t I?” He said without answering my question. “Tsk. I’m so stupid. I got jealous with the sight of you two hugging. I was too childish. I hope I acted in a more mature way but, instead, I chose to fight with her and never gave her a chance to explain herself. I even accused her of cheating on me with you.”

I got really surprised when he told me that their argument started because of our meeting. The truth is, CL just congratulated me when she knew about me and Dara dating. How could he think about us like that?

I love CL, yes but that love is like the love a brother would give to his younger sister. Anger built inside me without me knowing but I tried to cover it as quickly as I could because I should not express my anger, no, not at this time. “My little sister hugged me because she shared my happiness when she knew that her brother, me, has finally got the chance to be with his loved one – which was also her best friend. There’s absolutely nothing intimate between us, Jiyong.” I told him in the most calm way I know.

Jiyong titled his head towards him as he stared with misty eyes. He looked at Dara and she agreed with me with a nod of her head. “So I’m jealous for nothing? For real? I accused her, doubted her for me and took her for granted over nothing? Oh god! What have I done? CL, I’m sorry. I’m sorry… Please. Please come back. Please!” he screamed in agony and hit the wall upon the realization of his mistake.

He kept hitting and hitting until his knuckles were red and blistered.

I wrapped my hands around his waist to stop him but he was struggling hard to free himself and the moment I caught him, he collapsed in my arms. “What happened, Youngbae?” Dara hurriedly approached us with panic in her eyes. “He fainted. I think he’s too weak because he had nothing to keep his strength. Remember what auntie said? He ate and had nothing. He’s too lost. Let’s let him rest a bit.”

I carried Jiyong and laid him on the bed before wiping the remaining tear drops on the corner of his eyes. I noticed that he became paler and that his lips were dry due to the lack of water. I won’t deny that I was angry, but seeing him now, I pity him. He’s suffering too much and it pains my heart to watch him like this.

I understand his condition right now because if a similar thing happened to Dara, I might act the same or even do worse. I might not live anymore even. Yeah, love is pain but it is undeniably the most beautiful thing that occurs in one’s life. I stared at Dara and imagined the painful situations and realized that I am not ready to face such circumstances.

God, please let us stay together until the end of our life.

“Why, Youngbae?” Dara asked me when she sensed my weird action. I shook my head and denied my worries. “Nothing, noona. I was just thinking that we should make Jiyong eat when he wakes up later.” I showed my eye smile to her and she blushed before smiling back shyly.

DARA’S POV

Youngbae’s smile never failed to soothe my heart.

Even at this tough time, he managed to control his emotions. I’m very touched to see how he cared towards his best friend. He even brushed the tears away from Jiyong’s eyes as he attempted to calm him when he was calling CL’s name in his sleep.

I’m so lucky I have him but, I’d be lying if I say that I’m not yearning to do the very same thing towards CL when she encounter problems. CL, where are you?

I’m missing you. I miss the time we’ve spent together.

Wherever you are, don’t ever forget me. Thank you because you let me meet my sweet Youngbae. Rest in peace, my friend.

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Chapter One is here right now..yeay!!!...I'm happy that finally I've got my confidence to publish my story..thanks to my friends who are giving encouragements and spirit to me..and also I want to thanks skytothedragon04  cause helping me with the foreword and this chapter..thank you very much.. <3

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