Kibum had encountered death many times. He had lost his family, the majority of his friends, many, many years before, the ones that he had made in the hospital when he still believed that people who were there could be cured. Only a what seemed like very small number of them had left with happy smiles and genuine bliss on their faces, the ones that were told they were healthy...

What happened to the rest? They withered away just like flowers that had been cut and placed into vases to make rooms prettier, classier, happier. Just like Kibum was going to. The boy could still remember many of their deaths... They were never short and painless... They struggled, cried, whimpered...but soon, they would still, their hearts stopping. All of them were the same. Or at least it seemed so. At first, experiencing it was horrifying. To see your friends

He knew it and the fact terrified him. He knew that soon, he wouldn't be able to escape from the clutches of the horror, monster that had taken his loved ones away... He knew it and he wished he didn't.

Oh, how he wished that he could just run and hide from it, like people in movies did from beasts that threatened to take their lives. His bare, tainted yet shining heart ached for it yet he knew that he would never reach it.

Still, as the months passed, the boy felt like some of his hope had returned. The medicine wasn't making healthier but the pain had stopped more or less. Sometimes, he would wake up in the middle of the night, gasping for air, feeling hot yet cold at the same time, shivers that never seemed to cease running down his spine.

Not even Jonghyun would be able to help him at those times, yet he was there. He was there to hold his hands, to caress his cheek, rub his back, whisper sweet words into his ears. He was there to help, to love him. He made everything easier. With him, Kibum felt like everything was okay again. What had changed was that now, his touches now were much softer, more hesitant than before, his kisses feather-light and gentle... All the time. They showed the younger how his boyfriend cared for him, how much he didn't even want to risk hurting him.

Of course, at times, the carefulness, the gentleness made the boy angry. He didn't like how the elder acted like everything could kill him. He really hated how Jonghyun didn't even raise his voice when he snapped at him, just whispered to him softly as if the loudness of his words could destroy him... He hated being treated like a doll that was on the edge of breaking.

But, he knew that he was one. He was a fragile puppet whose strings were slowly being cut, the last ones barely holding him. Once they would snap under his weight, he would fall down, shattering into tiny pieces...

It was weird to know something like this. Every breath he took could be his last. His days were counted and not even the doctors could tell if he had more or less than they hed predicted before.

Happiness could only invade the boy's mind when he was in his lover's arms. At those times, he thought that the medicine was working as it should, making his life longer, helping him. He would feel Jonghyun's hold on his waist and he would smile.

He didn't know what was going to happen, but at those time, he felt joy surge through every fiber of his body... Many times, it would