“Um Kris,” Suho started his voice coming out a little strained as he found it hard to breathe.

“Kris.” He tried again this time moving his shoulders so as to get the attention of the one leaning on his back.

“That little weasel, thinks he’s all cool and hot…” Kris trailed as he mumbled to himself eyes glued to his binoculars. He gave no heed to Suho who was currently turning purple from lack of oxygen. Suho snarled at how he was being ignored and loosing the little patience he had he pulled his body from under the weight of the heavy as lump of flesh on him. He stood up straight stretching his sore muscles ignoring Kris who almost face planted into the ground if not for Chen who saved him.

With his foot.

Kris slowly pulled his face away from the shoe that had buried its self into his face. He could feel something like noodles with a taste of in his mouth. He spat out the crap and stood up spitting repeatedly to get the taste out.

“Be more careful Kris, if I didn’t save you your precious face would have been ruined.” Chen said patting Kris on the shoulders with a relieved look.

Kris who was now patting his hair into place looked at Chen with a grateful smile. “Really? Thanks, don’t want anything to happen to my face you know. It’s too precious. It’s all I have of this world that is priceless.” He said running his hand through his hair and trying to pose like a model.

Behind the idiot two people stared at the scene with remorse and pity.

“I think his nose is broken. It’s broken right?” Chanyeol asked the short guy that was standing beside him. Baekhyun nodded and sighed, it definitely was.

“Don’t you think we should tell him he has a shoe imprint on his face though, if not the broken nose at least we should tell him that?” Chanyeol almost felt real sympathy for the guy. Almost.

“If he can’t tell that his own damn nose is broken you’ll think he’ll get that he has an imprint on his face?” Baekhyun asked turning with a raised eyebrow at Chanyeol.

“Guess not.” Chanyeol mumbled and continued to watch Kris trying to be a spy but not before asking a question that needed an answer.

“Baek?”

“Yes?”

“Suho and Chen are his friends right? I just want to be 100% sure because sometimes it looks like they are trying to kill him, now included.”

Baekhyun sighed and patted Chanyeol on his shoulder. “Let sleeping dogs lie bro just let them lie.”

“Alright men. The enemy is in our sights, we need a plan that can crush them.” Kris said turning to his friends with a serious expression. “Any suggestions?” He looked at them eagerly not getting the fact that they looked like watching paint might be more fun than being there.

“Chen?” He asked and quickly jumped back to avoid a snot bomb that Chen carelessly flung as he was - and still is- picking his nose. Chen shrugged at the mention of his name.

“Suho?”

“Perhaps if you die then he might become remorseful and have a change of heart.” Kris laughed not minding –or not noticing- the seriousness with which Suho spoke.

“That could work except for any plan to work I have to be alive. Keep thinking ok?” He gave him an encouraging smile and turned his attention to Baekhyun and Chanyeol.

Chanyeol looked from Suho to Kris and wondered if the latter noticed the disappointed look on Suho’s face.

“Baek?” Chanyeol whispered leaning close to Baekhyun eyes darting to Kris who was still looking at them expectantly.

“Hmm?” Baekhyun hummed and leaned into the giant.

“They are definitely trying to kill him.” Chanyeol stated trying to ignore the creepy stare he was getting from Kris. “And please do something about his crooked nose. It’s getting on my nerves.”

Baekhyun sighed and walked up to Kris. “What did I tell you about the dogs?”

“Dogs? what dogs?” Chanyeol questioned getting a supporting nod from Kris.

“The sleeping dogs Channie.” Baekhyun said not batting an eyelash as he roughly grabbed Kris’ nose and pushed it in place. Kris cried out hand shooting out to grab his nose.

“OW! What was that for?”

“You are handsome.” Baekhyun said with a smile and walked back to stand beside Chanyeol when Kris smiled back with a muffled “I am right?”

“Let them die?” Chanyeol said answering the question.  

“Lie, let them lie. And besides Kris is the kind of guy that doesn’t die easily. I’ve tried but it just doesn’t work.” Baekhyun finished with a shrug while Chanyeol just gaped at him.

You just confessed to attempted murder! The hell man?!

“So…any ideas?” Kris asked as he forced himself in between the two his huge hands around their shoulders.

I want to go home!

Chanyeol cried in his mind.

“Excuse me, I would like to order…” Luhan started as he looked at the list in his hand while muttering to himself -about some lazy bums who should just die in their seats while they wait for his y self to bring the food since he is being used as a slave.

“5 servings of fries-”

“I need to .”

“5-wait what?” Luhan looked up at the person behind the counter who was looking back at him. He concluded that what he heard was his imagination so he continued ordering.

“5 serv-”

“It’s coming out, hurry where’s the toilet?!”

Luhan blinked quickly and when he saw the not so little unicorn plushy in the guys’ hands he concluded that he was serious even though the pained and urgent expression on the guys’ face should have been obvious enough.

“Don’t you work here?”

“No, I’m just passing by. IT’S COMING!”

“Then why are you behind the counter?”

“SOMETHING CAME OUT! I SWEAR IT DROPPED!”

“SECURITY!” Luhan yelled. He was facing a real maniac and he wasn’t taking any chances. People like that are dangerous both physically and mentally.

“TO THE BUSHES!” The guy yelled and ran out the door just as a scrawny guy came running from a door behind the counter. This one was obviously an employee since he was wearing a uniform.

“Yes? What is the problem?” The guy asked obviously shaking in his pants. He looked new.

“Hold on a sec.” Luhan said as he howled himself over the counter and looked around the floor.

“What?” The guy asked as he looked around himself too. He started praying in his mind incase it was a bomb.

Luhan sighed as he got back on his feet. “No , thank god. So 5 servings of french fries, 5 servings of steamed buns, a full cake and 4 sodas.”

“?” The employee repeated with a confused look.

“Geez, not this again. You work here so you know where the damn toilet is. Give me my damn order or I’m gonna sink my teeth into your eyeballs and make sure that it’s not only that’ll come out of your .”

Luhan basically flung the trays on the table as he sat down. “This will be the last time I’ll be taking the orders.” He huffed as he started eating his unhealthy serving of meat buns. They didn’t even come to his rescue when he called for security, what if he died?

Nobody gave him any attention since Xiumin was still mad at him for almost eating him alive (his cheeks were still red) and Kai and Tao couldn’t care less. Xiumin turned his face away from Luhan with a scowl on his face. Luhan was doing it again. Eating steamed buns infront of him when Luhan knew he hated them. And the look, Xiumin shivered as he shifted further away. The hungry look Luhan gives him as he bites into those juicy buns. Digging is teeth deep into them and his lips after swallowing.

“Baozi, you are mine.” Xiumin heard Luhan whisper with his eyes still on him. He couldn’t help regretting why he descided to room with this crazy guy. He even has weird sleeping habits, always whispering “baozi hmm, sooo tasty.” In his sleep.

Xiumin sighed suddenly feeling bad for whatever or whoever this baozi was. He picked his 2 servings of fries and passed Kai the remaining three. He quickly added another one from his own when Kai shot him a glare.

“I’m on a diet anyway.” He muttered as he eyed the four with Kai. “Talking about diets,” He turned to Tao who was currently inhaling his full sized cake…alone…and was half way through already.

“Tao maybe you should lay off the sweets that’s too much sugar which-” He didn’t finish his sentence when he got a fork in his face, which was uncomfortably close to his eye balls.

“Say about my cake again and I’ll kill you.” Tao growled before shutting the world out and giving his cake full attention while Xiumin hit his chest a couple of times to get his heart beating again.

“Twice, I almost died twice today. I need to re-evaluate my life choices.” He mumbled to himself. He still didn’t understand why Kai befriended –forced- Tao. Poor Tao didn’t know the he has gotten himself into but at this point he couldn’t bring himself to care.

“THERE YOU ARE!” A loud voice rang out in the café as a moron walked in. Said moron stood, left hand on waist and right hand pointed at Kai.

“Mark this moment as the day you taste my wrath and regret making me your enemy.” He walked up to the only people in the café with his finger still pointing.

“First I challenge you to a dual.” Kris continued oblivious to the fact he was the only one who cared about his existence. Even the new employee went back into the employees’ room when Kris and co walked in. He wasn’t ready to handle this .

While Kris was busy giving a very detailed explanation of the dual, his friends were having small talk with Luhan and Xiumin, and Chen was staring open mouthed at Tao inhaling the cake.

Kai who was in his own world suddenly came back to earth when he caught a figure walking by the café through the glass window. He shot up from his seat and ran after the figure.

“I knew you were a coward.” Kris mocked as he watched Kai run out. Kai’s friends looked out the window to see what caught his attention. They all except for Tao gasped when they saw who it was.

They got up and quickly ran after him. Tao was still seated with his eyes closed as he savored the last piece of cake. When he was done he got up and ran like the wind catching up to the others.

“Run Kai because you know you can’t handle the almighty Kris.” Kris said arrogantly.

“Can we go watch a movie or better yet go home?” Chanyeol asked taking a seat at the abandoned table.

“No! We must follow them. I have not made him regret it yet.” Kris said balling his fists. “I must make him regret not making me his friend. Can’t he see that all gorgeous men must stay together?”

Chanyeol started panicking. They are continuing with this ? His parent’s aren’t paying him enough for this. If they want him to continue being friends with Baekhyun they have to increase the pay. At this rate he’ll die before he’s 17 anda too.

“Maybe another day Kris. Didn’t you see the fear in his eyes as he ran like a little girl? Let him run home and cry, your gorgeous body needs to rest for now.” Suho stated seriously as if the fate of the world depended on this.

“Hmm, you are right.” Kris nodded. “Then men! it’s time we retire to our homes. Today’s’ battle has brought us closer to victory.”

The others sighed thanking Suho in their minds. They left the café –much to the employee’s relief- and Chanyeol discreetly wiped the little tear that escaped from his eye.

He has survived another day with these lunatics.

A/N: Just to make it clear, Luhan and Xiumin won’t recognize Lay because when they were having their little “moment” they didn’t notice him.

If you have any questions feel free to ask. And I hope you guys are enjoying this story so far ^_^

Till next time o/