We Can Make You Understand

By Renzei27 && --placingfifth

Title: 3.5/5

First of all, it didn't catch my attention. I'm so sorry, but the title seemed to not have the kind of mysterious feeling to it, and I felt like I wouldn't be able to understand it. I was right though, because when I started reading the actual story, I wondered what the title had in common. I didn't really understand it, but then there was one chapter, I remember, that had a really close connection to the title, but that was it. 

Description: 9/10

It was short and simple and absolutely error-free. But in honesty, I wasn't intrigued by it, merely because it was too short. For a story like yours, I felt that even maybe adding another sentence would help me understand the story. However, I did like the bit underneath. It got me really interested. I wondered why they were like that. Some of them were really interesting. 

Plot: 28.4/30

Okay, weird score. But I would like to explain. I took off points because I felt that this story was the kind of story where the ending isn't exactly the ending, but only halfway through their story. Although there is no ending yet, that is what I feel, so that meant that I felt that it was a story that was pretty much just following the lives of ordinary people. When I read stories, I try look for a base plot that could have an ending, but your story didn't have one (not necessarily saying that it's bad). Actually, I quite liked it. I liked how I didn't know what was going to happen next and I liked not knowing about what their endings might be. 

I thought that the way you built up their story was almost perfectly done. I'm saying 'almost' because nothing is perfect. The way how you have different sets of stories that just collide and react with other stories works. Usually, when I read a story that has more than four main characters in it with different backgrounds, I expect them to sort of connect or have a relation to each other in one way. But with yours, your characters just seemed to have their own story which wasn't really intruded on. Do you know what I mean? Like, in real life, it's hard to find a group of different people who have a connection with you; like maybe one person turns out to be the person your dad had an affair with, but that person's sister is your best friend, but it turns out that your best friend is in love with this guy who's uncle's best friend is your dad. Yeah, like that. But the stores really belonged to the characters and they only mingled with each other if they wanted to or if they were close friends, like Tao and Yixing. 

Flow: 10/10

Need I say much? Absolutely perfect. You had the right amount of push and pull in the right amount of chapters. You left tension between the members for many chapters that even I myself was uneasy around them. Well done!

Characterization: 25/25

I 'fangirl' at your characters. They are the epitone of genius. The characters actually develop and they actually learn things! My favourites being Kris and Luhan. They way how they eventually came into terms with their situation and tried to do something was beyond me. For most of the story, they were at war with someone, but then they slowly began to change. 

There are confusing character moments, but there are very few so I'm letting it slide. If I couldn't understand them, then we'd have a problem on our hands. But they did have their own individual personalities, so it's fine.

English: 19/20

Punctuation and grammar was spot on. There were a few mistakes here and there, but I'm sure it was a slip of the finger and not because you have no clue on how to structure sentences. 

I marked you off because there was one thing that I noticed. 

Let's go eat Grandma.

Right away, you can see a problem. This sentence is implying that you are going to eat grandma. 

Let's go eat, Grandma.

Ah, now that's different. You are talking to your grandma and you're asking her to eat.

I see that you don't put commas before a person's name when you should be. But only put it there if you are putting the name of the person you are talking to in a sentence. For example:

"It's been a long time Sehun," he said. [ Wrong. Missing comma ]

"It's been a long time, Sehun," he said. [ Right ]

Overall Total: 95.9/100

Comments:

When I went to go review your story, I saw that you had 52 freaking chapters. I had a mental shock. I decided that I was just going to read the first few chapters and then go off and review, but then when I got into the story, I found that I couldn't stop. It was an amazing read and I just really wanted to go tot he end. Thankfully, I managed to read all of it, to my shock. That was the most dedicated I had ever been to read a story when reviewing. I usually limit myself on the chapters and then subscribe later. But I read the whole story in one day. I deserve applause. 

Anyways, I just want to say that this is still me, --placingfifth. My other co author deactivated her account for some reason and I went into shock. Thankfully, I found the reviews and made a new shop, this one, to finish off those reviews on. If you still want to recieve reviews from us, you can subscribe, but I won't force you or anything (you're my boss. ehe). 

Thank you for letting me read your story. It was amazing and I am so lucky that you chose me. 

Don't forget to credit the shop and reviewer!

Oh and *whispers* you're going to be featured.