Title [4/5] -

I 'll keep this short. 

First of all, your title had just the right amount of depth and it definitely drew me in. However, it also kind of gave me a sort of insight of what the story is about. Truth be told, I had expected the letter to have some sort of hidden message within it, but I guess that's just me. I'm not the only reader out there, so that's why I'm only docking off a point. Good job!

Description/Foreword [4/5] -

Kudos to you for actually coming up with just the right words to pique the interest of your readers! Not mentioning the name of the main characters gave you the advantage of people ACTUALLY reading your story. The last two lines, though; let's just say it kind of gave away a part of the whole plot.

"Only when it was too late" can mean a myriad of things that's not exactly good for the protagonist(s) of the story, so I'm taking a point off this.

Good luck with the contest, by the way!

Writing Style [19/25] -

Your writing style is simple, concise, and straight to the point. I've read enough stories here on AFF to make me say that you've got a good grip on your depictions of certain scenes, and you were pretty much able to convey the whole situation without much of the bombastic words to do the work for you.

I'm not that keen about your flow, though. There were scenes that went too fast for my own liking, and then there were also scenes that were dragging. The whole point of a oneshot is to maintain the same running time for each situation, may it be a flashback or not. Try to equalize the flow of your stories next time.

Grammar & Vocabulary [30/30] -

You had perfect grammar and vocabulary, and that's an excellent thing. Not all writers on here can formulate good sentence structures, but you managed to do so. Congratulations!

Plot & Character [20/25] -

I didn't see much characterization on Krystal's part, but you did a good job in profiling Kai's personality without even elaborating much. The problem is, though, he wasn't what we would call the "main protagonist" of the story; Krystal is. It would've been better if you had given her depth, not just the usual damsel-in-distress facade.

Your plot isn't painfully overused, but it's a mixture of both new and old. One of them gets sick and hides to receive medication is an old thing; Korean dramas have those. Writing a letter and using a hidden message is new; although it may sound a bit cliche for some, it's not normally used in angsty romance stories like this.

Insight [8/10] -

It isn't exactly what I would call a perfect story, but it was bittersweet. Bear in mind that you still need improvement on some of your mechanics, but overall, your story was good. Congratulations and thank you for requesting!

Overall: 85/100

- Admin Amber

Remember to credit the shop. Please use this link instead when you credit as your review may be deleted when we decide to revamp our page.