He walked around, faces of people he spent the past three years with were now beaming and proud as they shared one last day together. Equally honored parents, friends and teachers were scattered all over the place, and along with the students they welcomed the spring with a good bye. A farewell to their alma mater, a send-off to the four corners of their high school, and the memories embedded on each one.

Armed with the bouquet of flowers his mother handed to him during the ceremony earlier, Hyukjae scanned the place in search for someone. Some of his classmates stopped and greeted him, and he responded just the same, sometimes accompanied by soft pats and handshakes. He continued searching while congratulating more classmates along the way, hugging a few, thanking the teachers, consoling some overly attached friends (Kim Junsu) and finally, he found him.

Huddled together with their classmates Sungmin and Ryeowook, Donghae wore that bright boyish smile of his as he giggled with the other two. Hyukjae took his time and stared at his best friend, this boy that had been every subject of his daydreams. But of course Donghae didn’t have to know that. He shouldn't need to. Because who the hell dares to confess in high school?

“Should I tell you about my feelings, Hae?”, he whispered and he quickly checked if somebody heard him because he just couldn’t afford for anyone to know about that. It’s a secret he kept all through high school.

A secret he’ll probably keep all through his life.

-

His daily routine is totally messed up.

First, Hyukjae wakes up twenty minutes late, because Kyuhyun doesn’t have an alarm clock and Donghae takes twenty minutes contemplating if he should knock on Kyuhyun’s door when Hyukjae’s alarm started to ring. Second, he takes the most awkward bus ride in the history of his awkward bus rides ever because Donghae tags along and the grumpy halmeoni just have to scold him for his best friend to see (because he doesn’t offered his seat this time and of course the grandma, who normally reprimands him saying he shouldn’t think she’s weak, now scolds him for being rude and inconsiderate). He has to pay breakfast for two, and corners Sungmin and tells him how everything is completely his fault.

“And how is it my fault?”

“Because you kept on telling him to come over here!”

“And why wouldn’t I? Seoul offers more opportunities and you and I both know that. That’s why we’re here!”

“But you should’ve at least provided a space for him?”

“Ok the landlord implemented the rule just a day ago okay? It’s because of the repeated cases of robbery happening in our apartment complex. And besides, Donghae came unexpectedly how would I know? And why are you so bummed about this? You guys were friends!”

“But you don’t—“ Hyukjae stops at the sight of Donghae coming out of the washroom. He groans inwardly before looking back at Sungmin. “Forget it.”

He stands up and grabs his bag, leaving his half-eaten breakfast and the frowning Sungmin. He meets Donghae halfway and mutters he’ll be off for work. Hyukjae’s not gazing back at the other, so he doesn’t see the way Donghae looks like he’s about to say something but upon the last moment, he decides against it and says for the other to take care. Hyukjae nods once and subtly waves good bye, walking out of the place in a rush.

“Don’t forget to fetch Donghae later!”

He’s almost out of the door when he hears Sungmin, and he trips slightly because of what his friend says. He turns his head a little and nods once again, before hurrying and leaving the coffee shop completely.

He’s already a couple of blocks away when he realizes that the things he’s been so used of doing every day in the past years are all completely messed up.

His daily routine is in a jumble.

And so are his feelings.

-

“Hyukkie! Dance with me!”

He let his best friend dragged him in the middle of the crowded dance floor, pushing people along the way and Hyukjae bowed his head to apologize. Finally stopping in a spot, Donghae started flailing his arms and shaking his body in what Hyukjae took note to be a really horrible one. He began laughing, telling his best friend to stop but the other’s no way planning to.

“We just graduated! It’s our last party in high school! Loosen up, Hyukkie!”, Donghae exclaimed, holding both of Hyukjae’s hands and swinging them in a manner completely against the beat of the blaring sound system. Donghae didn’t seem to mind though, as he continued dancing like silly and giggling with his every move. Hyukjae would have found it endearing, because Donghae will always be endearing, only that he noticed the weird way his best friend was acting as if he’s-

“Are you drunk?”, he asked, brows in a furrow, but Donghae just sniggered, lifted his hand and twirled. Being completely carefree and clumsy, he somehow lost his balance and Hyukjae had to hold him so he wouldn’t fall down. Donghae giggled even more, throwing himself on Hyukjae an