FIRST OF ALL SORRY I HAVE TO SPLIT BUT I'LL BE UPDATING TOMORROW!!

The second day is a lot more awkward. Because the second day of Donghae staying in his apartment falls on a weekend, and weekends mean he has to stay home and with Donghae for the rest of the day. So Hyukjae tries his hardest to avoid him, and be subtle about it of course because he doesn’t want to look like he’s blatantly evading the other, and what could be the best way to do it than to stick with the other person in the room.

The idea obviously does not amused Kyuhyun.

“What the hell, hyung? I’m on the last part of my thesis and if I mess this up because you keep on bugging me I would never forgive you!”, Kyuhyun exclaims with his bloodshot eyes and unruly hair.

“But I’m not even speaking!”, Hyukjae defends while sitting on the younger’s bed. And it’s true. He wasn’t even talking, just merely reading a comic book. Is his flipping through pages too loud?

“Well your presence irks me I can’t concentrate!”, Kyuhyun explains, ruffling his hair in frustration because he’s so close to finishing his study but he just can’t squeeze his mind for more details. And he needs something, someone, to blame for that. “Why can’t you just stay outside and mingle with your best friend? Catch up with those years you’re not together! Go!”

“B-but..”, Hyukjae pulls his hand away when Kyuhyun tries to haul him up. “Can’t I just stay with you?”

“No.”, Kyuhyun says, deadpan. “Now get out.”

“B-But.. hey hey wait!”, Hyukjae attempts to stop the younger again. “Please I promise you won’t even notice I’m here!”

Kyuhyun looks at Hyukjae, the former doesn’t even dare to hide how annoyed he is. “Why do you want to stick with me so badly? I have a thesis to finish and you have a guest to entertain! If I knew better I would’ve think that—“

Kyuhyun is going to say he would’ve think that Hyukjae likes him, but that’s impossible not to mention downright gross. Then he notices how his roommate glances towards the door, the hesitation and slight fear evident in his eyes, then comes recollection of how his hyung is so awkward towards their guest and his refusal to clarify the reason whenever Kyuhyun asks. Kyuhyun blames his thesis for taking him too long to figure it all out.

“I get it now.”, he says and Hyukjae frowns a little.

“You’re letting me in?”, Hyukjae asks and Kyuhyun eyes him as if he said something ridiculous, which he did actually.

“No. But I get it now. Why you and Donghae-hyung aren’t like me and Changmin.”, Kyuhyun utters with a grin and Hyukjae rolls his eyes.

“Didn’t I tell you to stop with the comparison? It’s different, okay?”

“Yes it is.”, Kyuhyun agrees, his face smug. “Because I don’t like Changmin.”

Hyukjae widens his eyes, and for a second he attempts to differ. He’s torn on saying that no, he doesn’t like Donghae (without being too defensive about it) or yes, he likes him because he’s his best friend. He’s thinking of sentences on how he will deny Kyuhyun’s assumption and how he will defend himself but just as he’s about to speak, he realizes there’s no point in denying.

“Am I too obvious?”

Kyuhyun rolls his eyes. “Hyung.”, he says with a look that speaks ‘are you kidding me’. “But to be honest, I only based it on the fact that you’re ignoring him, which is really absurd knowing you guys are friends. And there are only two reasons why one avoids his best friend. It’s either you’re mad at him, which I think is not the case because why would you let him stay with us if you are. So that leaves me with the second reason.” Kyuhyun’s face looks like as if he just figured out an amazing discovery that will change the world. “You. Like. Him.”

Hyukjae groans inwardly. He doesn’t know if it’s because Kyuhyun discovers his secret or the way the other looks like.

“Yeah, way to go Sherlock.”, Hyukjae utters cynically and Kyuhyun beams even more.  

It is a few seconds later that Hyukjae realized, that he just fully admits it not just to Kyuhyun but even to himself, that he still feels the same for Donghae.

-

Hyukjae clearly remembers how he fell in love.

It was easy to be honest. Donghae made it too easy for him.

It’s even trivial, too unexpected, too all of a sudden. But it happened, and although he did try to stop himself, he didn’t find the way to get out. He was trapped, captured with the feelings he didn’t know he’ll have for this boy he had been with all through his life.

It was the summer when they’re fourteen, when Hyukjae woke up in a morning he perfectly knew that Donghae is his best friend and fell asleep in an evening having doubts with his feelings. It was just an ordinary day. Donghae dragged him out to swim in a nearby beach and they spent the entire day playing and having fun. It wasn’t the first time they went in a beach together, or the first time they wrestled in the sand and pounced on each other. But when Hyukjae flipped their positions and pinned Donghae on the ground, his wet hair stuck on his forehead, droplets of water and sprinkles of sand all over his face, Hyukjae was quite startled.

Was it the sun? Was it the salt water he accidentally drunk when Donghae dunked his head while they were swimming earlier? Were they playing for too long? Or was it because of the way Donghae laughed?

But Donghae had always laughed like that.

Hyukjae’s still too busy pondering that he didn’t notice Donghae grabbing a handful of sand and blatantly throwing it on his face, then shoving him off him and running away. It was with temporarily damaged eyes and dirty face did Hyukjae marvel if he indeed thought that Donghae is beautiful.

But he had always been Donghae. And never did Hyukjae find him beautiful.

Until that day.

Maybe it was really just the sun.

Two days later, Hyukjae realized it wasn’t just the sun because that day, it was raining. And it was night time. And they were lying beside each other and Donghae’s doing nothing but sleeping calmly with his hands tucked under his face. And yet, Hyukjae still found him beautiful.

He got a little scared when he came to comprehend that Donghae had always been this beautiful.

Four months after, Hyukjae learnt that his little crush on his best friend was more than what he initially thought it was. He thought it was just a phase, that it would gradually passed, that it was just because he’s a growing teenager. But whenever Donghae took his hand to hold, or when he hugged him just because he felt like doing so, or every time Donghae smiled, Hyukjae’s heart thumped madly against his ribcage and he knew for sure this wasn’t just a crush.

It was indeed scary, Hyukjae recalls. That moment when he realized he’s inlove with his best friend.

-

“Hey hey.. HEY! KYU, WAIT!”

Kyuhyun’s sly grin is the last thing Hyukjae sees before the rascal slams the door right on his face. Hyukjae widens his eyes. Just a minute ago he’s talking to Kyuhyun and the next thing he knows he’s out of his room. Damn bastard just has to be sneaky when he’s vulnerable and speaking about his feelings. He tries to knock, pound on the door even, calling out for the younger even though he perfectly knows it is to no avail. He also knows he’s only wasting his strength and his voice, but he knows he has to do this because if he stops, then he has to turn around, and when he turns around, then he has to face him.

He can actually feel his eyes. And when he turns he confirms that Donghae’s indeed looking at him. He sits on the couch, in his hands are several DVDs he must have been choosing previously to watch. On the TV screen is another movie, rolling out its final credits and Hyukjae feels a tinge of guilt because Donghae must have been so bored. Or lonely.

Donghae hated being alone. Back then Hyukjae will leave for fifteen minutes and Donghae’s already whining because he gets lonely very easily. Hyukjae wonders why he’s not pouting and stomping his feet this time, and then he figures that was four years ago, and maybe Donghae already changed.