Broken Vow

“I’m fine mom! Leave me alone!” Boa shouted as her mom kept on knocking on her door. She entered the house, completely soaked by the rain and ran straight to her room. She was crying her heart out up until now for the unexpected confrontation that happened a while ago.

She thought that having him came back, she will experience the love she’s been longing from him, but things didn’t go smoothly as she thought it will be.

She bitterly laughed when she remembered the time he told her that he will spent his one-week vacation with her…that they will meet each other, to be together again.

“How stupid of me” She shook her head, thinking that before, she was so excited and even had a countdown of the days she will be able to see him but the loneliness she feels tonight is much more than the joy she had back then.

She suddenly heard a thud and when she sat up from her bed, she saw her violin on the floor as one of the strings snapped. She then stood up and picked up the instrument, thinking that probably it’s a sign. She replaced it with a new string and after tuning it, she started playing what her heart felt at that moment.

(http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UcXXpssBFVM)

She placed down her violin on the table and as much as she tried to hold it, she can no more. She dropped on the floor together with her tears that started falling. She can’t say a word, only her sobs can be heard inside the room.

“Why Jae?…Why?” She uttered weakly and those are the last words she said before she lost consciousness.

***

“It’s almost time, where are you?” Boa, waiting patiently, looked around the airport, hoping to see him at this instant. Her heart won’t relax a bit as she was becoming nervous as the second hand of the clock kept on ticking.

“Boa!” She heard his voice and quickly spotted him. Two years had passed and he changed, she thought. He looked more mature and she was stunned when she laid her eyes on him. She stiffened when he was already in front of her and he smiled upon seeing her so close. “I’m finally home”

Boa widened her eyes when he pulled her into his arms but soon closed them and hugged him back. She can’t deny it, she totally missed his warmth. “Wel...Welcome home Jae...”

“Ahem!” He pulled away when the two of them heard a sound behind him and she looked curiously at the five unfamiliar faces in front of her. Jaejoong introduced his friends one by one to her and vice versa. She felt awkward since she didn’t expect to have company and he never told her about them.

“Shall we go?” Jaejoong spoke as he held hands with Boa and his friends nodded. 

It was a short ride and Boa stayed silent while the other six chatted with each other in a different language, making her just look at the view outside, ignoring the noise inside the van.

“Are you alright?” Jaejoong nudged her and she can only smile. In fact, she’s not. This was not she assumed to happen. She thought that she will be able to talk to him alone during the ride but no, five people kept on getting his attention and what made her pissed was when one of the girls was hugging his arm.

They arrived soon in front of his house and his mom was waiting at their front door. Jaejoong stepped out first and walked towards his mom, followed by his friends and lastly, Boa.

“Hold this bag” The girl told Boa and the latter’s jaw dropped in disbelief because of two reasons. First, she can speak her language and second, that girl just ordered her.

‘What the…’

“She’s not your assistant” One of Jaejoong’s friends told that girl and take the bag on Boa’s hand while the girl only glared at the two and walked away from them. “Sorry, she’s just like that. Oh, and we’re all half Koreans” The guy apologized then smiled at her.

“I-It’s okay, don’t worry about it” She smiled back.

“Let’s go?” The guy asked and both headed towards the door.

Upon entering the house, she saw Jaejoong lying on the couch. She walked near him, seemingly, sleeping already. His friends already went upstairs and his mom just came down from the second floor. “You must be tired dear, why don’t you take a nap in Jae’s room?” His mom suggested but Boa shook her head.

“I’m fine Mrs. Kim. I’ll just come back tomorrow.” Boa bowed then looked at Jae’s sleeping face. A smile appeared on her lips and his mom did too, seeing the two of them together at last.

After closing the front door, Boa heaved a deep sigh. Although she was able to see him in person for such a long time, she has this feeling of being incomplete. She doesn’t know what exactly it was but she knows that she should just disregard it as of now.

*

Tomorrow had come and Boa is on her way to the Kim’s house. She’s full of enthusiasm, remembering what he told her on the phone last month. He promised her that he will fill up the moments they weren’t together, that he will spend more of his time with her. But when she entered the house, all she saw was his mother, telling her that Jae and his friends went out and asking if he didn’t tell her about that while Boa was at loss for words. She can’t believe it and she can’t deny that she became disappointed.  

“Mrs. Kim, do you know where they are?” Boa asked and much from her luck, his mom doesn’t know. “Oh...well maybe he’s showing his friends around. I guess I’ll be leaving now, I’m sorry to disturb you” She bowed and exited the house while Jaejoong’s mom felt sympathy for her.

Boa went straight to her room and picked up her phone. She tried calling him but he didn’t answer the call several times until she already gave up. She tossed the phone on the bed as she lay down. “Why are you doing this to me?” She rested her arm on her forehead and closed her eyes, wanting to forget what happened.

Four days had already passed but the same thing always happen. He wasn’t giving her sufficient time and attention and was more focused to be with his friends while she cried every night without anyone knowing. He would give her excuses like ‘Can we meet tomorrow? I’m tired’ or ‘Sorry Boa, I’m busy. I’ll call you later’ But every single day, this was their routine and he didn’t fulfill any of his promises.

There comes a time that she wanted to give up, that as much as she’s putting an effort, he’s not doing anything for them to be like what they were before… But because of the love she feels for him, although it hurts, bearing the pain will be her choice.

“Aren’t you going to see Jaejoong?” Boa’s mom asked while the two of them were eating breakfast. “He’ll be leaving tomorrow, right? It’s such a pity he’ll go back on Valentine’s day”

“I don’t know Ma. It feels like I don’t exist anymore to him” Boa said in a low voice as she rested her chin on the table. She has no initiative to call him, for she knows that she’ll get the same answer. “He’s spending all his time with his friends and he’s not doing what he promised. Ma, do you think he still cares for me?”

“Don’t say that dear. Remember when he visited you in the hospital before? That he was supposed to cancel the scholarship?” Her mom told her and it made Boa realized his willingness to sacrifice just for her. “He really cares for you”

“I guess” Boa uttered as she was having mixed emotions. She doesn’t know what to think anymore. She’s in the state of being confused. She thought that her mom was right, but knowing what’s happening recently, something had changed.

“Boa, your phone kept on ringing” Her dad said when he entered the dining room while the daughter’s head perked up and dashed to her room. She picked it up and answered the call.

“Jae”

“Uhm...are you free tonight?” She heard his voice and her heart started to beat fast. Is this true? She asked herself. “Can we go on a date before I leave?”

Hearing him say that, she can’t explain what she’s feeling at that time but it made her happy that he remembered her even for just once. “S-sure”

“I’ll pick you up at eight. See you” He ended the call but the smile on her face kept on beaming. Her uncertainty about them was lessen since what important for her is to be with him and that’s all she needed.

She quickly opened her closet and took out her favorite dress. She giggled at the thought that maybe he was planning something special for her tonight.

Time flies so fast and she was panicking about their date. She was becoming nervous as minutes passed by and because of the thought that Jaejoong will arrive anytime soon.

“Calm down Boa. Calm down. Breathe in. Breathe out. Relax okay” She was talking to herself in front of the mirror and was a bit uneasy. She half screamed when she heard a knock on her bedroom door and her mom told her that Jaejoong was waiting in the living room.

Boa stood up, taking a deep breath before walking out of the room. She went downstairs and saw Jaejoong looking at her which made her embarrass all of a sudden. He smiled at her and held her hand. “Shall we go?” He asked and she shyly nodded. “We’ll be leaving now, Mr. and Mrs. Kwon” He bowed and escorted Boa to his car.

“Where are we going?” Boa finally asked after a long time of not talking.

“Hmm? Ah, you’ll see” He replied and looked at her then back to the road while she looked outside afterwards.

“We’re here” He announced and she snapped out of her thoughts. She looked to her left and to her disappointment, it wasn’t the place she’s thinking of. It was a club and she became mad when she saw his friends greeting her boyfriend. It’s not that she’s having any issue with them, but it was supposed to be the night for only the two of them and she felt like crying to think that he went inside, forgetting that she’s with him seconds ago and her uncertainties started to form again.

She stepped out of the car and dragged herself inside the building. At first impression, she doesn’t like to be in this kind of place - loud music and people dancing wildly. She searched for Jaejoong and saw him and his friends drinking and having the time of their lives.

“Hey, glad you came. C’mon” The same guy friend of Jaejoong whom she talked to before pulled her towards the group. She sat down beside her boyfriend and looked around. She felt indifferent among all the people in there.

“Jae, what are we doing here? I thought we’ll be going on a date?” She asked as she interrupted his conversation to one of his girl friends.

“We’re on a date, aren’t we?” He casually asked then went back chatting with his friends while she became speechless. She wasn’t expecting that answer. She bit her lip, preventing herself to cry. She doesn’t want to. No. Not in this place.

“Uhm...where’s the restroom?” She asked him and he pointed the direction where it was. She stood up and went inside the cubicle where she let her tears to roll down on her cheeks. The way he treated her was too much for her.

After several minutes inside, she wiped her tears away and went out to look at herself at the mirror. Fortunately, she was the only one in there. She put some make up, as to not show that she cried.

She exited the restroom but her steps came into a halt when she saw Jaejoong and a girl dancing close to each other...really close to each other that it’s as if kissing is the only thing they haven’t done yet.

She walked towards them and turned him around, giving him a hard slap he deserves. He widen his eyes when he felt the impact while she glared at him, tears were forming once again. She ran outside with a heavy heart while the rain was pouring hard. She was planning to go home and not wanting to talk to him. He had done so much that made her suffer and she had enough of it. She called for a cab and was about to step inside when he called.

“Boa, wait!” He followed her and got a hold of her arm which she pulled away from him. “What’s wrong with you?!”

She turned around to face him, surprised how oblivious he can be. “What’s wrong with me?” She asked in a mocking manner. “Don’t you think you should ask that to yourself, huh?”

“What are you saying? And why did you even slapped me?! I don’t know what’s going through your mind. I shouldn’t have picked you up in the first place if you’re acting this way” He told her as the both of them were at the street, soaking wet.

“Did you hear what you just said?! I saw you dancing with that girl! You’re getting intimate and what do you want me to do? Just watch at the corner?! You shouldn’t have invited me if you’ll just treat me like this!” She burst out in anger after hearing what he said.

“Would you quit your nonsense?! Look Boa, I can’t give you all time you want. My world doesn’t only revolve around you. I also have a life!” He reasoned out as his voice was getting higher.

“I know that! I’m not asking for you to give me your attention all the time and I’m not…I’m not prohibiting you to go out with your friends. I just want you to know that I’m also here, that I exist even if you don’t notice me” She answered him back as her tears were overflowing and can’t be distinguished from the heavy rain drops. “You know what, I’m tired…I’m really tired to be in this relationship.” She spoke in a low voice as she looked down on the cemented floor.

“You’re not the only one” He replied in a monotone voice as she looked up to him, feeling guilty because it never came to her to ask him about what he felt. But she became shocked when he told her the next words she didn’t imagine him to say. “I can’t continue this long distance relationship with you. If you want to leave, then go ahead. No one is stopping you. I’m sorry for coming into your life”

She became speechless at first, she thought that they just need to find a solution to their problem but he chose the option she least wanted. But thinking what he’d done, she thought that probably he’s right.

“You know what? I wish you never told me that you love me so I didn’t expect a lot from you. You made promises but you keep on breaking them all along. I thought I’ll be happy that you came back… but you changed, Jae. You changed a lot. You’re not the friend I have back then. You’re not the Jaejoong I came to love. I don’t even know you anymore…” She started sobbing when she can no longer control her feelings. It was too much for a girl to be hurt this way. “I have no reason to feel the same way for you. Maybe…maybe you’re right. I think it’s really the best to break up”

She went in the cab while it was his time to be silent as he stood there all alone.

***

“Jae...” Boa called in a whisper after waking up and groaned when she felt her head hurting so much. “You’re awake now dear. How are you feeling?” Her mom came into view when her eyes adjusted to the light of the room.

“Ma? What happened? Where’s Jae?” She asked as she sat up and massaged her temples. She didn’t hear any words from her mom and when she saw her expression, she felt something was wrong.

“I’m sorry Boa but…but he’s gone. He already went back to France” Boa’s mom held her daughter’s hand while Boa bit her lip, fighting the urge not to cry.

“So it’s true” Boa said, now admitting that what happened last night between them was real and not just a nightmare. And with the last words she uttered, her tears started to fall just like how her life will be from now on.

“It’s really over”