I grabbed my pillow and let out a long sigh. My eyes were already looking at the ceiling for a few good minutes, and it's so boring. Why my day with Himchan in the garden, had to end so quickly? We were having a good time together and the ringing of his phone interrupts our moment. Apparently, there was a schedule for which BAP couldn't miss and I had to come home. Oh, how I hate having tiny time with him. When I'm with him, time passes quickly. On one hand, this is good because it means that when I'm with him, I'm happy but on the other hand is bad because to me, the time I spend with him is very short.

I squeezed the white pillow, and looked earnestly at it. What will I do? Should I go out? But I don't feel like walking alone. Should I see TV? But I think at this hour, nothing interesting is showing. Should I read a book? But the books that I have on the white shelf that is on my right side, have already been read countless times and I should read something new and not something that I already know what will happen from beginning to end.

I stopped to look at the pillow and looked at the window. I got up from bed and I approached the window. Some dark clouds were in the sky and the leaves on the trees swayed in the wind. It seems that today's cold. I huffed to the window and drew a heart. Himchan, Himchan, I miss you. I gave a leap of fright when I heard my phone vibrating on top of the nightstand. I grabbed it and saw I had a message from Daehyun. I clicked on the message and read it.

Daehyun: 'Hey, chingu, how are you? Look, Himchan is asking you to come here, at TS.'

I raised an eyebrow and read the message a second time. Himchan asked me to go to TS? But then why didn't he send me a message or call me asking if I wanna go? Does it cost much? I would press the option to reply but my finger stopped half because my phone vibrated, indicating that I had received another message.

Daehyun: 'Himchan, is too lazy to pick up the phone.'

Oh, that's it. But he shouldn't have laziness to send me a message. After all I'm his girlfriend and if I were him, even though I was with pain on my fingers, I would send him a message but apparently he doesn't do that, or thinks about doing that. Hmm, should I go? Or should I stay home to punish him? Before deciding on which option to choose, I decided to go to my email. Maybe if I read the sixth step, I will have some help to choose which of the two options.

As always, I had an unread message. Unfortunately my email doesn't receive many messages. Oh well, now I don't want to think about it. I opened the message and began to read the sixth step.

‘Sixth step: Tell him you wished to be another boy’s girlfriend for a day to see if it would be different.'

I sighed and blocked my phone. I started walking from one side to the other, while my mind was thinking about what to do. Apparently, from what I read of the sixth step, I have to be with him to say what I have to say. Wait! What I have to say? I opened my email again and read the sixth step for the second time and then squeezed the bridge of my nose. Oh boy, this will not end well, I'm already envisioning. I think, no, I'm sure this will not really end well. But wait there! Who will be the guy to whom I have to say I wanted to be his girlfriend? Oh crap. Who will it be? I passed my fingers through my hair and my phone vibrated in my hand. I looked at the screen and read the message.

Daehyun: '______, please come. Himchan is grumpy.'

I sighed for the millionth time and chose the second option. I would have to go to TS and do the sixth step. I replied an 'ok' to the message of Daehyun and opened the drawer of my dresser to choose the clothes to wear. I wear a wool sweater and jeans. I ran to the front door and took the keys. I closed the door and started walking hurriedly to TS. Don't ask me why I was walking fast, or literally running, because I don't know. I'm just doing what my mind and body require. I reached TS in an instant and swallowed the saliva to try to relieve my dry throat. I pulled the collar of the sweater up, and passed a trembling hand through the neck. I walked in and went upstairs. My feet stopped automatically at the third door and I gulped. I haven't faced Himchan, and I'm already afraid to say the words that the sixth step asks.

I sighed slowly, and shook my head to get these thoughts out of my head. There is no point of thinking about it. Everything will be resolved, right? Everything will be resolved in the end. I have to think positive. I know it's annoying to hear the person you love say that he wants to be someone else's boyfriend for a day. I think I would never get to say it, even for just 5 minutes. I can only think of Himchan. I can only love Himchan and surely only Himchan is in my heart. I blinked a few times when I saw a hand waving in front of my face. I looked up and my eyes stopped on the face of Daehyun.

"Oh ______, you finally arrived. Come on." Daehyun grabbed my arm and pulled me into the rehearsal room. All members of BAP were sitting on the floor and were tired. Famous life isn't easy. I approached them and sat on the floor.

“______-ah.” I heard a familiar voice calling me, and a big smile opened up on my lips. My eyes met the eyes of Himchan and he came up to me and sat beside me and hugged me. "I've missed you so much." He whined and I laughed softly. He was so cute right now. I admit that when he wants, he's so cute that even my poor heart melts.

"Aigoo, nor two days have passed since the last time you saw me Himchan." I pinched his cheek and he pouted. Of course I also had missed him but of course I wouldn't tell him that. I don't want him to feel very important because it spoils him.

He tucked a strand of my hair behind my ear and approached his warm lips to my ear. "Tell me that you missed me." He whispered and his lips tickled my ear, and I felt my cheeks warm. He was never too daring in front of his friends but it seems that has changed today. I cleared my throat and looked at him frontally.

“Him.. Himchan.” I whispered his name a bit embarrassed and saw a small blush on his cheeks. My heart began to quicken the heartbeat just to see him blushing. Oh God, someday my heart will not endure.

“Bléh.” I heard some of the guys grumbling and I averted my eyes from Himchan.

“______.” Yongguk called me and I looked at him. "You don't get tired of Himchan once in a while?" He asked and I raised an eyebrow. What should I answer? Of course I don't get tired of Himchan and think I'll never get tired.

“Well, not yet." I said shrugging and they laughed.

"You never have desired or thought about having another boyfriend?" Daehyun asked with a mocking smile on his lips and I sighed. Looks like I'll have to do the sixth step now because this is my opportunity.

"Well..." I bit my lip. "Well..." I looked at the floor. I'm sure after what I will say now; Himchan will look at me so evil, or do something else which I will not like. "Yeah, I wished." I said a little loudly for all to hear and all remained silent and stopped moving. Oh God, is that these words had a big impact on them? I raised my head and they started to cough and look at Himchan. I looked at Himchan by my peripheral vision and saw that he had his arms crossed and when he has his arms crossed, that isn't a good sign.

“Who?” I heard the voice of Himchan asking in a serious tone and I bit my lip. “Who, ______?” He asked louder.

“Daehyun.” Before I can think of a random name, the name of Daehyun came about.

“What?!” Everyone asked at the same time, a bit incredulous and I closed my eyes. This time I went too far. I opened my eyes and looked at Daehyun. I mumbled a 'help me' and he nodded. I felt a bit of relief, because he understood, but the worst would deal with Himchan. Oh Good, where I got myself into.

"______, you really wish to be Daehyun's girlfriend?" Himchan shook my shoulders.

"Well.. Technically, only want to be his girlfriend for a day to see how it is." I explained looking at his bright eyes.

"To know how it is? What you mean?" He asked with a raised eyebrow while his left hand not releases my shoulder.

"Oh I don’t know, maybe to know if my relationship with him would be different from ours." I rolled my eyes and he put his index finger on my forehead.

"What's wrong with this mind?" He asked to my head and I looked at him incredulously. "What's wrong with this heart?" He asked pointing to my chest. I didn't answer him and he touched my cheek. "Daehyun will never feel the warmth of your cheek." He ran his fingers through my lips. "Daehyun will never feel the taste of your lips or the softness of them." He brushed his nose on my nose. "Daehyun will never feel the touch of your nose." He kissed my eyes. "Daehyun will never feel the taste of your tears nor love that your eyes emanate for me." He ran a hand through my neck and rested his hand gently on my chest, making my heart rates increased, and my cheeks blush. "And above all, Daehyun will never feel the love that this heart has for me, and never will be able to take my name from your heart because our love is reciprocal and your name is marked in my heart too." He finished speaking and turned his face to face the boys but the only one he saw was Daehyun that was closing the door. "Yah Daehyun." He said aloud, and Daehyun looked at him. "You don't touch on ______, not even with a finger." He asked in an authoritarian manner and Daehyun nodded and closed the door leaving me and Himchan alone.

“Himchan.” I called him and he looked at me serious.

"I want you to know something ______." He said with a deep voice and I nodded. "You are mine. You are my sunshine, my air, my tears, my joy, my lovely, my cute, my love. You are mine and above all, you are my life. Without you I can’t go on." He stated and tears of happiness started to blur my vision. "Don't cry my baby, be mine forever, and never wish to be of someone else. You don't know how much it distresses me." He kissed my forehead and cradled me while humming a song. I squeezed him tightly and leaned my head on his chest. I'll always be yours Himchan.

Sixth step,

Conclusion: I love the confessions of Himchan because every word he utters is beautiful.

I missed so much to write, although it has been three days without writing.. I miss you guys