I remember the first time we met. It was spring that day. Grass had the color of green. Apple trees in your garden had the blossom flowers in white.

You were sitting in green plastic chair, sipping a hot tea, despite the warm weather. And just a couple of months later I learned that you always drink you drinks hot.

I remember the first words you spoke to me. This raspy tone, yet so smooth, soothing.

“You must be Kyuhyun? I’m Ryeowook.” Your eyes so gentle, but unknown. And I knew after this, that I would love to spend my life with you. I would love to get old next to you, but I was able to grew up. Grew up to everything that is waiting for me in the future. Get ready for a journey that I didn’t expect, I would take alone.

I remember your shocked eyes, when I said that I loved you and quickly pecked your lips.

You stood there, next to our plum tree; hands full of weeds. Then a beat of a heart or two and our lips met once more in chaste, loving kiss. And I knew I will see the world next to you.

I remember our walks around the neighborhood with our baby- a dog that we adopted.

Your laugh when he caught a ball and your yelp, when he got into a fight with other dog. I still remember your loving touches, when you applied a ointment onto my bruises after I tried to separate them. And your warm body and voice, when you hugged me with a words “my hero”.

But it not last for long.

I remember our first fight, about our families. And I remember your crying face, when I stood up next to your father and bravely said that I loved you and that we are getting married, despite the fact that we were both men. Despite everything, but I would never thought this thing would separate us.

I remember your pained face, when you get sick. Your porcelain skin, that started to get old, paled, as tears fell from this beautiful eyes. I remember your trembling body in my embrace.

I remember…

It was in our vow; through sickness and health.

And suddenly our lovely life fallen apart in one cold spring day. Your lovely eyes, that looked at me with devotion, turned glassy, as you tried to fool me. As you tried to not show that it’s our ending. Your ending.

My love…My baby…My Ryeowookie….

I remember your lithe body that was loosing weight day by day. I remember days, when I would pick you up, so we will sit on our garden, looking at apple trees. And you smile when I held your hand.

I remember as you started eating less. And how I needed to force you to drink. So you will get some strength, that wasn’t enough. And my kisses of affection, that gave us some strength.

I remember your sick, tired face, as you sleep. And I knew, soon I will be alone.

I remember your cold body that one day. Sun shone on your calm sleepy face. And I knew you will not woke up from this sleep.

I remember your funeral, but everything was fogy, because I cried all that time. I cried from pain. From suffocating pain of lost. Because I lost you forever that day. When they closed your coffin. When they took my heart to the ground.

I remember that I plant a apple tree next to your grave after that.

And I remember that I walked alone later in my life journey.

But I knew that someday we will meet again. But it was too far, too long for me, too soon.

There is always no time for everything.