Darkness…engulfing

 

 

Eyes covered, lacking light. Blind.

 

 

Small room, caged in like a pet bird. Chains connecting me to the corner wall. No windows and no doors

 

 

Water filling the small containment and screams are muffled within my throat. Am I drowning?

 

 

Lungs burning and heart thumping erratically

 

 

Voice lost

 

 

Breath lost

 

 

Chains gone

 

 

Am I freed or dead?

 

 

                Kai snaps awake gasping for air. Sweat dances across his forehead and his pillow is soaked wet. Breathing heavily, he grips on to Mr. Snuggles, Kyungsoo’s favorite teddy. Ever since Kyungsoo departure, three days ago, Kai has have been having the same nightmare over and over. Kai would be chained onto a wall in this small dark room. Suddenly water will fill up the room, leaving Kai breathless and speechless. His lungs will burn due to the loss of oxygen and his heart beating like drums as adrenaline rushes through his bloodstream. Right as Kai is about to blank out, the chains release him of their hold. Is he free?

 

 

                Now in a sitting position on bed, Kai shutters reflecting on his dream. Noticing how his shirt stuck onto his chest, he wrinkled his nose. Not only has sweat covered his forehead, but also washed through his sweat. Feeling sticky from the sweat, Kai gets up from bed and walks over to the bathroom. Kai sees himself in the mirror, and realizes how much Kyungsoo’s departure has affected him. Kai’s eyes were swollen, below them were the ugliest and darkest bags, and not to mention his complexion. He sighs and strips off his sweat infused clothes. Water from the shower falls onto Kai’s body, he shook his head trying to compose himself. He refuses to look as if he is weak or vulnerable. I really miss Kyung…Contact me please. Tears stream down the muscular boy’s face mixing with the hot water.

 

 

Flashback:

 

 

                “YOU ARE THE MOST USELESS SON I EVER HAD!” Mr. Kim, otherwise known as Kai’s father, fumes. “Why can’t you just listen to me and follow the road that I’ve paved for you!”

 

 

                “I’M YOUR ONLY SON!” attacks Kai back at the red faced father. “Why don’t you understand? I’m not your doll! You can’t make me do what I don’t want to.” Mr. Kim slams his hand down on the table as if to show his son who was in charge.

 

 

                “So, what do you want to do? Dance?” scoffs Mr. Kim spitting out the sentence with great poison in his words.

 

 

                “That’s what I want to do currently,” answers Kai quietly. He didn’t want to anger his father anymore.

 

 

                “Tell me, how will dancing feed your mouth? Who will take over Sunshine Constructions? You are my only son.” Mr. Kim tries to reason with his rebellious son hoping that this is just a phase. Mr. Kim had built Sunshine Constructions from scratch using his own hands hoping to give his family a better life than what he had gone through. However never in his life did he expect his son to reject the safe road that he had constructed.

 

 

                “Dad, this is the 21^st century! No one passes down business through family anymore. The executive board will never accept me as the CEO. I’m not CEO material! Besides I don’t want that kind of life…” Kai’s voice trails off and starts to shake, “I-I want to dance.” Kai stands in front of his father with confidence and new found strength.

 

 

                Mr. Kim’s body shakes from anger and annoyance and he places his hands on his temples. Why didn’t Jongin understand that everything was done for him, to have a better life, with less suffering and heartache? He wanted to provide his son a comfortable lifestyle, one he never had. 

 

 

                “Leave. I don’t want to see you anymore, Jongin. Do as you want, but don’t come crawling back here to me when things get too hard. Leave!” Mr. Kim points to the door way and closes his eyes as he sits down by the table. Kai looks at his father unblinking. Their relationship destroyed because of his dreams? Kai’s confidence seems to falter, but he quickly picks up his composure. This is his life, his dreams, his way and no one can take that away. Not even his beloved father.

 

 

                “I’m leaving, Dad. I’ll tell Mr. Han to send me my things. Bye dad.” Kai retreats to the door and walks out from his dad’s life.  

 

 

                Kai shakes back to reality as the hot water turns cold against his skin. It has been 4 years since he left his father. They haven’t kept in contact and now Kai feels a wave of homesickness rush over him. He had left home and his only family member to pursue his dreams. At a young age, Kai had lost his mom leaving him with only a father figure. His father was everything to him, so when Kai left home, his heart broke. At that time, Kyungsoo was the one there for him, encouraging him and providing love and warmth. Kyungsoo became his only support, his only family, but he wasn’t here right now. In Kai’s heart, he felt empty.

 

 

                Kai’s fingers and toes turned pruney due to the time he spent in the shower. He dries himself off and exits from the bathroom going into the kitchen to fix something to eat. He stops and looks at the pictures that mob the fridge. The fridge is covered with pictures of the two lovers smiling and laughing together, a reminder to Kai of his boyfriend who is an ocean apart from him.

 

 

                In one of the pictures, Kai is back hugging Kyungsoo, while the latter had a huge smile plastered on his face. In another picture, both lovers are hugging each other wearing couple beanies on top of Namsan Tower. Kai’s heart feels like it has been attacked by sharp needles. Forcing himself to look away from the pictures, Kai opens the door to the fridge. Inside the fridge contains cartons and cartons of kimbap and kimchi spaghetti. ing great, another reminder of Kyungsoo. Feeling sick, he shuts the fridge and prepares to go to the dance studio, making a mental note to apply BB cream.

---

 

 

 

(At the dance studio, Lay and Sehun are already there, warming up for practice.)

 

 

                “I think we should make covers and post them on the internet. Maybe we can attract more potential learners,” says Lay as he stretches his legs. Kai walks into the studio and removes his shoes and coat.

 

 

                “Pshhh, we too good for that! I think we should direct our own chorography and make it yyy. sells,” blurted Sehun flipping his fringes with his fingers. He is too arrogant for his own good. Noticing that Kai has finally appeared after disappearing for the last 2 days, Sehun nudges Lay.

 

 

                “Hey Kai! How are yo- What in the hell?” Lay smile fades when notices the sickly face. Lay’s facial expression turns into one of worry and anxiousness.

 

 

                “Guess I didn’t apply enough BB cream…” mutters Kai under his breath.

 

 

                “Dude…are you okay? Have you been eating right?” questions Lay. He looks at Kai from head to toe and gently holds onto Kai’s arm, treating the weak boy as a newborn baby.

 

 

                “You look horrible. Your eyes are bulging out and damn! Your complexion is gross!” Yes, expect Sehun to be the honest one and tell him how ugly he looks right now. “Look at my skin here, it’s smooth like a baby’s bottom,” brags Sehun insensitive to the situation. Lay sends a death glare towards the maknae causing him to shut up.

 

 

                “Ignore that brat,” Lay kicks the “brat” on the shin (Sehun winces in pain, but keeps his lips sealed. An angry unicorn is not a pretty sight) and returns his attention to the sick looking dancer. “Are you okay? I hope Kyungsoo leaving didn’t cause such a drastic change in you.” Kai flinches at the name of his boyfriend being said. Kai, golden boy and somewhat a happy virus, has been reduced to being moody and sickly.

 

 

                “Yeah, I’m fine. I think I didn’t have enough sleep last night,” lies Kai desperate to change the topic away from him. The studio is oddly quiet and empty today. “Where are Taemin, Fei and the others?” Usually by this time, the studio would be bustling with energy and noise. Kai really wants to just dance right now and forget about his sorrows. Where in the world are his students when he needed them most? On so many occasions, his students blocked him and Kyungsoo teasing the owl eye until he turned bright red.

 

 

                “They went camping together. Something about bonding…” answers Sehun still rubbing on his oo. Sehun shots a glare at Lay for kicking him so hard, in which Lay just shrugs indifferently. “Said something about leaving for the week,” eyes focused on Lay who resumed to do warm ups.

 

 

                This is definitely not Kai’s day; scratch that, not Kai’s week. His boyfriend is in America and his students are on a stupid bonding trip?! Kai’s life is so messed up right now. Shaking his head of all the pessimistic thoughts, Kai fakes a smile and turns on the music.

 

 

                “Should we practice our new chorography? The students aren’t here for the week. Let’s be productive!” Kai slaps his hands together waiting for their response.

 

 

                “Urghh, I’m lazy though…” complains Sehun stomping his feet like a spoiled five year old. However when the music starts, all three of them immediately gets into their place and begins to dance. Sehun’s complaint is long forgotten as the trio begins to dance.

 

 

Maxstep, come on, come on

 

 

Ah- ha neon naruel jageukjaj

 

 

Up and Down, hangyereul neomeoseotgo 

 

 

                The music engulfs the entire dance studio. All games and jokes are thrown aside and the three dances fiercely to the beat of the music. Suddenly, two intruders enter the dance studio. Jaws drop and eyes widen seeing the trio dance. The two intruders watch silently by the door, shocked by what they are seeing. The sharpness and crispness of the three dancers are beyond the intruders minds. They were mind blown at the sight.

 

 

Growling in the air

 

 

Geobuhalsurok pagodeureo jeoldaejeogin neol !

 

 

Wechyeobwa, wechyeobwa!

 

 

                The song cuts off and Kai gives Lay a high five. The three were sweating and tired from the intense dancing that they didn’t notice the awe struck intruders. Kai, feeling the adrenaline and endorphins rushing, gave a genuine smile. Dancing always made him feel better. 

 

 

                “DAMN! You guys are wicked awesome!” The intruder with dark brown hair and small eyes jumps up and down with glee, fan girling to the trio’s dancing. The three dancers yelped at the sudden voice and eyes widen. The second intruder face palms at his friend’s actions.

 

 

                “Who the hell are you? We ain’t need no fan girls here,” snaps Sehun whose diva side had suddenly arose. He looks at the two boys with judging eyes, hands on his hips waiting for an answer.

 

 

                “Damn! Gurl, you need to calm your man s down! Stop getting your in a wad.” The tiny eyed boy snaps back with an equal or greater sass. Kai and Lay look at each other blinking slowly, was it possible that Sehun the diva had finally found someone who out-sassed him?

 

 

                “Baekhyun!” The boy who was standing next to the unknown diva scolds the fuming small eyed boy. “I’m sorry. I’m Luhan and he is Baekhyun. Baekkie didn’t mean to explode. Please don’t get mad! Forgive us!” The boy with the blonde hair, supposedly Luhan, bows a 90 degree bow and remains in that position.

 

 

                “Luhan, don’t give out my name to losers like them! I’m much too good for that,” says Baekhyun as he looks at Sehun and scoffs. “Besides, that ugly ahjussi started it first.”

 

 

                “W-w-what the hell you squirt! I’m beautiful! Beautiful! Look at my milky skin and feel the softness of my skin! Squirts like you need to appreciate real beauty.”

 

 

                “Who’s a squirt, you giant! I don’t want to touch your nasty skin, who knows what sort of bacteria is living on your dirty skin.”  Baekhyun flips his imaginary long hair. 

 

 

                “Shut up midget! You got nothing!” Sehun snaps his fingers in front of Baekhyun and bobs his head. Lay, Kai, and Luhan watch on as their friend spew insults are each other.

 

 

                “So… May I ask why both of you are here today,” asks Lay. After all, he is the most mature out the three.

 

 

                “Ummm… I was looking for the Rainbow Dance Studio. Baekkie and I really want to learn how to dance.” Luhan’s eyes brighten at the mention of dancing. Lay couldn’t help but blush at the cuteness of the boy.

 

 

                “Well, you came to the right place. How may I help you? I’m Lay. That diva over there is Sehun and Kai is the one with dark skin. Together we run the Rainbow Dance Studio.” Lay smiles at blonde adorable boy, dimples exposed. Luhan couldn’t resist the urge to poke at those dimples.  –pokes- Lay freezes at the touch and laughs awkwardly. Luhan gives the dimpled boy a cute smile.

 

 

                “Oh, no you didn’t! No one flirts with my Lulu with my permission!” Baekhyun runs over to protect “his” Lulu.

 

 

                “Are you two dating,” asks Kai as he is reminded of Kyungsoo once again. Kai is also overprotective and possessive of his Kyungie.

 

 

                “Oh no, we aren’t. We are just best best best friends.” Luhan smiles and his eyes turn into small crescents. Even Kai could help smiling back at the cute boy. He kinda reminded Kai of Kyungsoo. The doe eyes, the adorableness, the petite body.

 

 

                “No one touches my baby here! He is off limits, especially to you, ugly one.” Baekhyun points his finger to Sehun, slightly shaking from disgust.

 

 

                “You bit-“ Sehun is cut off by Lay who placed his hand over the former’s mouth.

 

 

                “I’m guessing both of you are here as students?” Lay grimaces when Sehun his palm spreading his saliva all over Lay’s hand. “Ew, that’s gross Sehun!” Lay wipes the drool on Sehun’s new Abercrombie shirt eliciting a gasp from the younger.

 

 

                “Yep! We are both dance majors in modern dance.” Luhan smiles brightly and fumbles with the hem of his shirt. “We’re wondering if you… youwouldteachus!” 

 

 

                “Aww, oh my sweet lord above! You are just the fluffiest creature I have ever met!” Sehun gushes at Luhan. “Of course, we will be your teacher. Just keep that monstrosity on a leash, okay cutie?”

 

 

                “What you call m-“

 

 

                “Oh, thank you all so much! We will forever be in your debt.” Luhan bows and shakes Sehun’s hand manically, smiling like a creeper. “I know! Let me treat all of you for a meal.” He turns to his diva friend and spazzes, jumping up and down. “I know a very good Chinese food restaurant.”

 

 

                “Well, that is something I cannot reject. Free food,” Lay jokes and grabs Kai close, sensing that Kai was planning on going straight home and refusing the offer.

 

 

                “FREE FOOD,” shouts Sehun running around the room shouting.

 

 

                “Kai, you will also come right?” Lay puts Kai on the spot. Four pair of eyes turns to him, one of which was puppy dog eyes, begging Kai to come along. The targeted boy sighs and gives a small nod of his head indicating his surrender. Lay breathes in relief. The dimpled boy feared that Kai would refuse to come and choose to mope over Kyungsoo at home. Lay has seen the damages and changes in Kai due to Kyungsoo’s departure. It is for the best for Kai to relax and have fun. The unicorn boy smiles and pushes the depress boy towards the exit, hoping for the best.

---

 

 

 

(Time Skip: 9 P.M at night. The gang, Luhan, and Baekhyun spent a whole day goofing around in the Chinese restaurant. Currently, everyone is leaving to go their respective homes.)

 

 

                “I think Sehun and Baekhyun are drunk right now.” Lay looks over his shoulder at the tipsy boys. Sehun is singing at the top of his lungs and Baekhyun is dancing all out. “Oh my gosh! D-did Sehun just bump into a tree?”

 

 

                Kai laughs at his dongsaeng’s craziness. He didn’t expect to enjoy himself, but Kai had to admit he did have fun. BUT Kai’s heart still felt empty, he missed Kyungsoo. This was just a distraction for him, a short term happiness. He needed a certain owl boy to fill up the holes in his heart.

 

 

                “Luhan is taking Baekhyun home, and I think I should take Sehun home. He is far too wasted to know his left from his right. If you want, I can stay over with you since Kyungsoo isn’t here.” Lay places a hand on Kai’s shoulder, trying to give the latter strength.

 

 

                “No need, who do you think I am? A weakling,” jokes Kai as he punches Lay in the chest. “I think that one there,” points to a staggering Sehun who is still singing, “needs you more. I’ll leave first. Good night.”

 

 

                “Are you sure that you don’t want me to stay with you?” yells Lay as Kai is walking away. The tan boy holds up his hand and waves. Kyungsoo had told Lay about Kai and his problem with loneliness. Growing up with only a father as family and then losing his only family had traumatized Kai. Kyungsoo is his only family now without him, Kai has no one. Lay sighs, face scrunched up with worry. He hopes Kai doesn’t hurt himself due to loneliness.

 

 

                Kai enters the shared apartment and he flicks on the light switch. Without bothering to take off his shoes, Kai walks into the living room. He sits down on the couch and closes his eyes. He refuses to look weak. Suddenly his phone beeps with a message. Without looking at who it was, Kai clicks “show”

 

 

                “Heyahhhh!” A familiar voice… Kai jolts back to life and looks at his phone. It was Kyungsoo, he had emailed Kai a video message. Kyungsoo was wearing a black heavy jacket with the hood over his head, looking cute as ever and his face rosy from the cold. In the background, many people were talking, cars beeping, and screams could be heard.

 

 

                “Hey baby, did you miss me? I missed you.” Kyungsoo gives a shy smile and Kai nods his head as if Kyungsoo is right next to him. “I’m sorry for not contacting you sooner. I was so busyyyy. On the first day, I had jet lag and couldn’t call you. On the second day, I had to meet everyone who was invited to the conference. And OMG, THEY ARE ALL SO BRILLIANT!” Kyungsoo gushes on about meeting the smartest people ever. His face lit up like a light bulb. “I’ll tell you more next time. Attached to the email, I put the time that we should video chat. We don’t want to be uncoordinated with the timing, do we?” Kyungsoo sticks out in tongue causing Kai to spaz due to his cuteness. “Oh, I have to go now. My roommate is totally drunk right now. Don’t worry I didn’t drink at all. I am a good boy. Bye baby! I love you so much. Mmmmmmm-wah” Kyungsoo places a kiss on the camera sending the kiss over to the lover.

 

 

                “Oh lord! SUNGYEOL SUNBAE! YOU CAN’T URINATE IN PUBLIC! NO, NOT AGAINST A TREE!” The video suddenly ends and that is the last thing heard.  Kai is confused, how is he supposed to feel? Happy that Kyungsoo contacted him? Mixed bitter feelings bubble in Kai. He is happy for his boyfriend, but he also feels bitterness. Why is Kyungsoo so happy? Kai was moping over the boy for the past 2 days, but Kyungsoo was SO happy and excited, meeting scientists who were as smart as Kyung.

 

 

Why don’t you feel as miserable as I am? I’m here missing you every day.

 

 

 I’m so lonely. My heart feels dull and empty without you.

 

 

Please come back.

 

 

I don’t want to see you so happy when I’m so depressed.

 

 

It hurts…

 

 

                Realizing how ugly and selfish his thoughts were, Kai punched the wall in disgust. He had just selfishly wished that Kyungsoo was as miserable as he was. Grossed out at his own thoughts, Kai decides to shower again to clear his head… and his heart.

 

 

I miss you, Soo. Come back soon and save me from the darkness. I’m lonely

 

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