I didn’t notice how time flies, how I resisted talking to Luhan, Sehun and Kris kept my company but I guess they can’t replace Luhan. My friends were the same, the usual, making fun of things happening to our lives. It has been three months I guess and February is coming.

My mind was wandering while staring at the rustling leaves. The classes were cut since most of my classmates were practicing the cotillion dance for the promenade. 

Like last year, I did not join the dance and I’m planning not to join this promenade. But since I’m one of the coordinators, I guess, once again I’ll be alone on the night that I considered silly.

“Hey Yza---” Forte removed my earplugs.

“What? I thought you’ll join the dance?”  I asked her raising one of my brows.

“Huh?! Are you kidding? You want me to dance that? Forget it…” she said and imitated the slow dance.

I laughed at her silly act.

“How are you and Luhan?” she teased.

Upon hearing Luhan’s name, I put on my earplugs and hummed on Jesse McCartney’s "Just so you know."

“Joke!” she removed my earplug again.

“I just hope that the most beautiful tandem come back again…” she nostalgically said staring on her horizon.

I stared at her.

I hope so… I thought and went back on my daydream.

_________________________________________________

At Art class…

“Okay, do you have your paint, paintbrush and canvass with you?” The teacher asked and we answered her.

I pulled out my things from my bag, my favorite set of paintbrush and pallet and primary colored paints including black and white.

“Alright so, I want you to listen to this classical music and after that, paint whatever you wanted to express from the music you’ve heard, I’ll give you one hour for painting and I’ll choose the top 3 paintings and the owner will explain it for the rest of time” she explained and  press the play button.

The music is soothing, it portrays happiness normally but if you creatively analyze it the music suggests sadness. The music ended and others started to paint happy thoughts I guessed, but not me, I started painting a dull abstract that anyone wouldn’t understand except for one people.

I started to my brush and after an hour I came up to a vibrantly colored painting but the dullness of it was noticeable for those who had artistic minds.

The teacher examined every canvass and noted every single thing she had to write down.  After that, she stood in front.

“I’ve notice that almost all of you painted happiness on your works, except for two people, Luhan and Yza, come here and explain your works” the teacher said and took a sit and we brought our canvasses in front.

Luhan explained his painting first, he did it in an informative way but if I would interpret his painting, it suggests everlasting love.

On his painting, there was a man and woman, the man was waiting for the woman I guess and the love he gives to the woman seemed to be retracted by her so sadness was showed or maybe it’s an “unconfessed” love.

After his explanations, I started mine.

“Well, this is how I express the music to a piece of art laid on paper, I know, all you can see right now were broken lines and cubes and I want anyone of you to interpret it” I said and looked at them but I guess they’re confused about my painting.

“I can…” Luhan said lowly.

“So can you explain it then…” the teacher requested.

“Of course ma’am…” he replied and walked beside the canvass.

“On my opinion, this broken lines expresses hurt and this cubes means hardness, so if you portray normally, like let’s say the broken lines were girls and the cubes were boys then we can say that girls were hurt because of insensitive boys…or… vice versa” he explained without flaws.

“AAAHHHH… so sad…” the girls whined.

“Yes that’s right, so that means sadness…” I added.

After that, applause was heard, Suho was third and Luhan was second and as for me I got the highest grade for my painting today. For the painting that really described my situation right now.

_______________________________

The prom was tomorrow and everyone was excited. I’m very busy since I’m a coordinator of the event. Forte and I distributed the invitations for every faculty members and as we stopped on the dance rooms where the cotillion dancers held their practice, my heart skipped a beat as I saw Iya and Luhan.

Luhan was holding Iya’s waist tightly as if he never wants her to let go and Iya practically enjoys the moment staring at his beautiful doe eyes who’s sparkling at the moment.

“Oh my… Let’s go I guess the tears will fall in no time” Forte teased as she clicked her tongue.

I slapped her arm but she managed to laugh. She pulled me and went outside.

I took a lungful of air while Forte stretched her arms and legs.

“We should be so pretty tomorrow, so that we’re not forever alone…Isn’t it?” she joked but I never bought it.

“Luhan again? Ahhh…. Talk to him then, if you really want to… don’t resist each other” she said.

“You won’t understand!” I said briefly and ran back to the classroom.

I bumped on Kris but I didn’t care at all, instead I sat on my seat and get my diary. I wrote everything on that page, my feelings right now and my hatred.

The practice was already finished and they went back to the classroom. I was writing that time when my eyes come in contact with Luhan’s eyes but I withdrew it anyway. I closed my diary and went outside, obviously not wanting to see him.

Luhan why can’t I….

My thoughts were cut when someone yelled, it’s Sehun.

“Yza--- would you mind singing a song for our band tomorrow for the prom…” he childishly said.

How can I resist this cute boy in front of me.

“What song?” I asked.

“Thousand Miles by Vanessa Carlton please…” he smiled and cutely pouted his lips.

“Okay fine…” I patted his cheeks and he smiled again.

____________________________________

Luhan stared at the blue notebook on my desk and narrowed his eyes.

_____________________________________

I was exhausted I can’t find my damn diary. My room was in mess, books and notebooks were scattered and pieces of paper all over.

“Arghh! Where is it?!” I ruffled my hair.

My diary held my secrets and memories. I was about to cry but determined to find it.

_______________________________________

Luhan got my dairy from his bag, grabbed a pen and knocked himself in bed. He stared at it for a little while and opened it.

“Welcome! You found one of the precious things in my life…” he read the first page.

“Yes I found it, because you’re so careless…” he wrote.

He opened the next page and started reading it.

__________________________________________

October 14, 2012

Dear Diary,

                Hello there! Diary I’m really sad because partner had confessed something to me earlier…

                You know what is it? Wait I’ll tell you…

                He said that he liked someone (T.T) and his courting her and that hurts.

                But here’s more, he wants me to help him to please this girl… (T.T) and I said yes…

                Oh God… I’m such a martyr, isn’t it? But for him I’ll do everything…

                                                                                                                                                Yza^^

“I just did that to be with you… Good thing that you’re jealous… hahaha” he chuckled while writing it at the bottom of the page.

October 15, 2012

Dear Diary,

                Hello there! Diary I have so many things to write today!

                Partner and I had a review today here at the house, by the way, he look so handsome…

                You know I baked his favorite cookies and he loved it…

                Partner and I also rowed paper boats… I’m really happy that he didn’t forget about our first       

                meeting… (^.^)

                He also hugged me today, he’s so sweet… Ahh… I really felt protected in his hug…

                After the review…

                Partner and I shopped and ate dinner together and I’m really happy I hoped his happy too…

                                                                                                                                                               Yza^^

“Of course I am…” he whispered as he wrote it and continued reading.

November 6, 2012

Dear Diary,

                It’s sci fare already, I sat beside partner during the ride and he so sweet as usual. He shared  

               his  earphones with me, isn’t that sweet? (giggles)

                And… He laid my head on his shoulder… Good thing he’s sleeping because he might notice  

                how  red my face was…

                We’re so close yet to far, remember I’m just his friend and he loved someone else… I know     

                my place but sometimes I want to be this close to him… (T.T)

                                                                                                                                                                Yza^^

“Really? I hope I saw it… I might be blushing also…but seriously I have that effect on you? I love the (giggles)” he commented.

November 7, 2012

Dear Diary,

                I’m sorry I have to write to you this early in the morning…this is urgent!

                Partner was sick last night, Forte and I did I sponge bath for him…

                Oh my god diary! I therefore conclude that partner was not just sweet, handsome and kind,  

                He’s  also hot!

                But there’s one thing that I want to ask him, what’s the meaning of this?  “Why did you stop?

                Go  on… I like it…”. Well, he said that when I stopped, then he’s asleep again. Maybe he’s just                

                dreaming right? Nothing to worry about…

                Another surprise! Partner was hugging me when I woke up… Ah… a very nice dream I had…

                                                                                                                                                                Yza^^

“Wow, I’m hot! Perhaps you want to catch a flame with me hahaha… about the meaning of that, I don’t know either, but just take it like this, please don’t stop loving because I like it and I like you…” Luhan cuddled his cheeks after writing it.

November 8, 2012

Dear Diary,

                (T.T) (T.T)(T.T)

                Diary… my eyes were swelling because of last night… I cried and cried and cried…

                Because… Partner accused me as a flirt.

                Diary I just did that to make him jealous, but no, he’s not, he was mad and confirmed he’s  

                really  in love with Iya, he even compared me to her… It hurts diary (T.T)

                It hurts that my partner accused me for a simple mistake that I overdid…

                Diary, it is true that you can’t beg someone to stay when he wants to leave and be with               

                someone else… this is what Love is about.

                                                                                                                                                                Yza^^

“Actually, you won, you made me terribly jealous I even picked a fight with Sehun… you’re so stubborn to make me jealous that I really burst out. I’ll spill something to you… Sehun likes you, not only Sehun but also Kris… they both confessed to me… but since I’m your best friend and PARTNER I won’t let them, over my dead body” he hardly his pen.

 He opened another page but all he saw was... 

“SORRY DIARY… I GUESS THIS ENDS HERE, THIS IS THE END OF GOOD MEMORIES--- Yza^^”

“HUH? But she’s writing last time maybe she had some entry…” he said while flipping the pages. He skipped five pages but in hopes that there’s still an entry he flipped one more page.

February 12, 2013

Dear Diary,

                I really hate the promenade! i don’t want to join actually but I’m forced to do so…

                I’m really irritated…

                First, because of too much work…

                Second, the dancing thing… you know what I mean diary (They’re partners!)

                Third, Forte mentioned him again…

                I really hate proms because I’m always alone…

                                                                                                                                                                Yza^^

“You may have someone in your heart, someone in your mind, someone in your dreams and someone in your life but I’m your someone when you have no one… my someone is YOU” he wrote.

“Argh… you’re so corny Luhan!” he whined upon realizing what he wrote and he flipped another page.

“This might be the last entry…”   he said and started reading it.

February 13, 2012

Dear Diary,

                Yes.. you’re right! My painting is for you… and you interpreted it perfectly, no flaws….

                Girls are really hurt by insensitive guys like you… I hate you so much…

                Yes I admit, I’m jealous, at the way you look on Iya’s eyes, the way you held his waist and

                those  sparkling eyes of yours, they seemed very genuine while staring at her. I’m jealous

                yes, I’m  jealous… partner… I wish that I was her.

                I’m being so patient, have you seen it? 

                I’m the one who always understands, have you noticed it?

                I love you! Did you care about it?

                NO RIGHT?!

                So don’t ever ask me if someday I distance myself from you, even though I love you.

                I’m so tired of being stupid, making you want me and care for me…

                                                                                                                                                                Yza (T.T)

“I definitely need talk to you tomorrow… PARTNER…” he whispered and closed his eyes holding my dearest diary on his chest.

________________________________________

Another update^^

this will end soon at last....