Myungsoo liked the sound of Sungjong’s bare feet on the floor of their bedroom. Each careful step became quieter than the previous, the heel of his foot not even descending to the floor. Myungsoo appreciated Sungjong’s effort to keep quiet and not wake him, though he had awoke the minute the warmth of the bed slipped away.

Myungsoo opened his eyes when the sound of shower pouring hit his eardrums. Slowly he pushed himself up when he swore he could heard Sungjong’s sobbing from inside the bathroom under the water. The sound produced by Sungjong was shattering  Myungsoo’s heart, made him shuddered. Even the cries were low, almost impossible to catch but Myungsoo could feel the deep, bone crushing sorrow in it. Myungsoo sighed and ran his hand on his face. He then turned his head to look at the bedside clock, which complete with not only time but also day, date and weather.

Ahh, today is the day. Myungsoo said in his head while his face wearing a heavy frown.

In a year, there were two days Sungjong would be grieving. And today was one of it.

Myungsoo was still sitting in their bed when he heard Sungjong had turned off the shower and getting ready to come out. Myungsoo was waiting, patiently, calmly. Taking a deep breath, he mentally told himself to be strong for Sungjong.

Sungjong walked out from the bathroom with only towel wrapped around his waist and another towel, which was smaller in size on his damped head. Some of water from his hair dripping on his face, covering the prove that he was still crying. Sungjong had his head hold down and walked slowly to the wardrobe, ignoring the gaze Myungsoo gave him. He knew, but he just let it passed.

Sungjong was picking a shirt when Myungsoo wrapped his hands around his waist, and Sungjong jumped a little bit, but relaxed immediately beneath his husband’s warm back hug. Myungsoo began dropping dry kisses to the back of his wife’s neck, nuzzling into the warm skin. Sungjong tilted his head to give Myungsoo more room. His lips curved a small smile. Sungjong put his hands on Myungsoo’s and caressed them lovingly. “Morning,” he said with a low voice, and a bit shaky.

“Morning,” Myungsoo tightened his grip. There was a short pause. “Are you okay?” he asked for the obvious answer but he still wanted to ask it anyway.

“Well,” Sungjong cleared his throat. “I’m fine.”

“No, you’re not.”

Sungjong hanged his head, trying to gather all his confident, trying to be cool, trying to be stronger but his heart, his tears didn’t obey him. “No, I’m not,” he then agreed. “But I’ll be okay.”

“Will you?” Myungsoo asked half disbelief as he raised his eyebrows.

“I think.”

“You think?”

Sungjong just nodded slowly. Myungsoo released Sungjong and Sungjong whimpered by the lost of contact with his husband but chose not to show it too much. Myungsoo wasn’t gone too far. He just stepped in front of Sungjong, shifting from back hug to front hug. Sungjong was holding his breath when Myungsoo’s arms caged him, gently embraced his slim figure. Sungjong wasn’t fast enough to return the hug when Myungsoo pulled them off. Sungjong looked at other way. Myungsoo took Sungjong’s hands, put them on his waist, and rested on his hips. One of Myungsoo’s hands rested on Sungjong’s arm, rubbing it affectionately, and the other hand pushing back Sungjong’s hair behind his ear.

“Hey love, look at me.”

Sungjong wiped the remaining tears quickly and let his half dropped, puffy eyes met Myungsoo’s. There was a flash in Sungjong’s eyes that Myungsoo was tempted to call hurt. Yes, Sungjong was hurting and yes, Myungsoo knew it so well. He knew it so well until he could feel the pain. It almost felt like they were sharing it and being unhappy wasn’t Myungsoo first choice early in the morning like this. He leaned in kissed Sungjong’s eyelids tenderly.

“I want to go with you,” Myungsoo said. “No, it’s okay. I can go alone. I won’t take too much time. Plus, today is Sunday and you need your rest and I need someone to watch over Soojong for me.”

“We can take her along.”

“No, don’t. It’s still early for her to wake up.”

“She can continue her sleep in the car and in my arms. I don’t mind to hold her for the whole day even.”

“Ow, Myung, poor her. That must trouble you, too.”

“No, she needs to know our hero, Jongie. Yes, she’s only 3 years old but that doesn’t mean she’s too early for this. At least, she can try to understand what happens here. Sungyeol means a lot to us and she gets to know that.”

Sungjong swallowed, eyes locked with Myungsoo’s and he forced a smile, secretly agreeing. Myungsoo did have a point there.

Myungsoo’s right thumb caressed Sungjong’s cheek. “Sungyeol was there when I’m not there for you. He got us back together when he was suffered enough for not having you. He continued supporting us with all the way he got. He defended your honour from Sunggyu. He saved you and Soojong, our child. He saved me too,” Myungsoo was whispered on the last sentence. Tears slowly rolled down Sungjong’s face. Sungjong tried to hold back the flood of memories that was spilling out of the closet where he had stuffed them into. Sungyeol’s eyes, Sungyeol’s smile, Sungyeol’s laughter.. well, he failed anyways.

“And if not liking Sunggyu just like me can be count and considered as well..” Myungsoo continued and that made Sungjong chuckled quietly. Myungsoo felt warmth spread in his chest by hearing Sungjong’s adorable die for chuckle. That was the plan, lifting up his wife’s mood. Myungsoo allowed the corner of his mouth to twitch. He somehow was proud of his little effort. “..yes, Sungyeol is truly the best man ever, truly the best friend we can get.”

“Our hero,” Sungjong repeated Myungsoo’s words earlier. “Yes, our hero.” Myungsoo wiped Sungjong’s tears. “We have discussed about this too, right? We chose today, his birthday because-”

“-Because we’re afraid it’s just too much to handle when we have to visit his grave on the day he died,” Sungjong finished the line for Myungsoo. Sungyeol had gone for three years but today was the very first day Sungjong had the courage to visit his grave. Something he never did before.

“I want to do this too, Jongie. We have skipped so much time, faking to accept the reality by avoiding the truth from living inside us, denying things, making up situations so that we can bear-- we have a reason to hold on tight. But what we missed to look is that just make everything worse. It does help at the beginning, it did, but the awful feeling just won’t go away.”

Sungjong hugged Myungsoo, placing his head on his shoulder. No, he didn’t cry anymore. It was time to move on, completely. “It’s time, isn’t it?” Sungjong asked. “Yes, it is,” Myungsoo patted Sungjong’s hair. He then kissed Sungjong’s temple and broke the hug once again. “You go and get ready. Let me take care of Soojong.”

Sungjong smiled and nodded, “Thank you.”

Myungsoo replied Sungjong’s thank you with another kiss planted on Sungjong’s forehead. “Love you,” he said to Sungjong before disappeared to his daughter’s room. Myungsoo smiled contently when he saw Soojong just opened her eyes, blinking lazily. Slowly, Myungsoo headed to Soojong’s crib and took the toddler in his hands, hugged her close in his arms. “Good morning, sweets.”

“Good morning, appa.” And she yawned. Myungsoo’s smile went wider because Soojong was just too cute when she yawned like that.

“Appa is sorry for waking you up sweets but we have to get ready now,” the father ran his fingers in Soojong’s hair. The hair was barely passed her shoulders. “Get ready? Where are we going?”

“We’re going to see my and umma’