Morning felt delightfully good the next day. For the first time in my teenage years, did I throw open my windows and breathed the fresh morning air. There was no special reason behind my sudden urge to sing a song, to twirl around, to smile foolishly except for one- I felt light, I felt burden free. My cook could give me cornflakes for breakfast (my worst edible enemy) and I would have still kissed her goodbye- that is how happy I felt.

Skipping down the steps, making sure that my cook did not notice that I had skipped breakfast (Yes, she had given me cornflakes and despite all my optimism, I could not make myself to gulp it down my throat) I waited for Jieun and . . . Kai.

Last night, I did not feel as conscious as I was feeling now because I felt that all my stupidity was getting hidden by the darkness, that I could seek the protection of the dark to prevent Kai from poking at a part of me I didn’t even know. However, today, standing here right at the path of the sunlight streaming through the window, I could not find a place to hide. Everything was exposed.

“You didn’t have breakfast,” Jieun complained as she stood beside me, “I have some garlic bread in my bag so you better eat that in car.” That was Jieun and I, no matter how pissed we got at each other we knew that in the end, we would have to come back together. We were related by blood for a reason.

“Ah! Good Morning little miss!” wished Kai from behind, causing my shoulders to jump, “And why didn’t I see you at breakfast?”

I did not have the courage to look at Kai without blushing profusely so giving a constipated expression to my sister, I ran and hid behind her back. She looked at me suspiciously, as her taller frame covered the smaller me and then turned towards Kai.

“She hates cornflakes and she is lactose allergic,” Jieun explained, “Or so she thinks.”

Kai ignored Jieun’s answer and bend sideways, peeking at my hidden form.

“I said ‘Good Morning’,” he said cocking his head to the side, “Shouldn’t you be wishing the same?”

Jieun tried to get me off her back but I clung onto her like a leech. I knew I was just making my bashfulness more obvious but coming out of the protection of her back would not change matters either. “Go-Good Morning to you too,” I squeaked. Kai flashed a bright smile and turned to leave while Jieun turned towards me, wholly. “What is going on?” she said disbelievingly. “I-I,” I stuttered trying to find a good lie, “He made fool of me by scolding me last night.” Well that was not a lie; it was just selective truth.

“Oh.” Jieun believed me but I guess she still didn’t find it a valid reason for me to quiver behind her back. “He is not all that intimidating,” she said as she went for the door, “At least not as you.” That hurt. My good morning was changed into a bad morning just by a single badly thought out sentence. I am sure. Jieun did not intend to hurt me. She was actually stating a fact but why say it when it was pretty evident that despite my morning even with Kai, I was actually feeling happy this morning! No, she was not at fault. How would the poor girl know when I am happy and when I am not?

Things were different today. Kai had seated himself at the seat next to the driver and left my throne for me. Since Jieun was talking to father regarding something, I decided to rush towards the car. “Thank you,” I mumbled as I sat making sure that Jieun was nowhere in sight. Kai looked at the interior rearview mirror and gave a generous nod of his head. “You’ll be doing a lot of thanking by the time I leave this place,” he chuckled. I hated it how he talked in riddles, as if I did not have enough confusion to deal with already! I did not get the chance to question him on it because Jieun had already opened the door. Instinctively, I looked at Kai and saw him giving that adorable shy smile of his- devoid of his cockiness.

Jieun had forgotten about giving me the garlic bread and for some reason, I did not feel like eating anything so I just stared out the window, making sure that I did not look at Kai even once, as the car rolled out the driveway.

The silence and complacency had set in me as I sat in my car, silently staring at the passing scenarios. I was not looking at them, I did not even know what all things were passing by me, I was just staring blankly. So when the car stopped, I walked out of the door still in the trance I had set myself in and hurried towards my building. Kai did not need guidance today and even if he did, there was Jieun to help him.

I was halfway to my building when I heard urgent footfalls running towards me. Must be some late student I thought and walked on. “Will you please wait?” shouted the voice. I turned around shocked to hear that familiarly unnerving voice. “What is wrong with you?” Kai shouted, panting with his hand placed on his bent knee, “You just stormed off!”

I walked over to him and this time; I squashed the bottle into his face until he grabbed it off my hands and chugged down almost half the liquid. “I didn’t storm off,” I defended, “I walked off.”

Kai choked on the water dramatically and rolled his eyes. “Just like you were not tomato red this morning,” he retaliated capping the bottle and throwing it towards me, “and just like how you are not a chirpy person.”

Bluntly reminded of my embarrassing morning, I turned around and resumed my storming off. “Yah!” he shouted again, his walk infinite times slower than mine, “Sorry! Just stop!” Instead of giving my sinister smile at taming a restless soul, I giggled at both our silliness. “It’s not funny,” Kai, grumbled as he matched his pace with mine, “I wonder how difficult it would be to catch up with you if you were running.”

“Why walk with me?” I asked, looking at him instead of the trees. “To avoid the possibility of getting lost,” he replied, looking straight at me. I was not used to eye contacts so I reverted my gaze to my faithful trees. “I left you with Jieun for a reason,” I stressed. “Oh,” he said, as if he was unaware of my motive, “I didn’t want to go with her today.” But he knew the way then why walk along with me. I didn’t ask him that because I knew he would be ready with some evasive answer.

“The walk looks languorously long today,” he commented to break the silence.

“It’s because we are not bickering,” I answered concentrating on the approaching building.

“Why aren’t we bickering?” he asked. Wow! He could single handedly defeat a bunch of five year olds at being annoying.

“Because we don’t have a reason to,” I replied patiently.

“Why don’t we have a reason to?” he persisted.

I stopped and glared at him. “Kai.”

“Honorific,” he interrupted.

“Sunbae.”

“Go on,” he urged.

“Will you please stop asking stupid questions?”

“Sure.”

We were only a few steps away from the building when Kai opened his mouth again, “Doesn’t ‘Kai Honorific Sunbae’ sound like a name?”

It took a lot of effort not to gag him with my handkerchief.

“Here is your class which you conveniently seem to forget the route to,” I said sarcastically and began to leave when I felt his hand give a slight jerk to my wrist.

“What?” I asked, irritated. I did not like people tugging at my hands, it made me feel that people had forgotten the art of speech altogether.

Hand still on my wrist, Kai said, “See your Financial Advisor standing at the corner?” I craned my neck a bit since towering seniors blocked my view but I saw my sworn enemy nonetheless.

“Yeah,” I replied, the hatred from the last meeting poisoning my voice. Kai frowned as one would towards a stubborn kid and with an elbow nudge said, “Good. Now go and wish him as a friend would.” I turned around to face him fully with a delightfully horrified expression and almost shrieked into his face, “Are you mad?!”

“Yes I am,” he replied, dignity reeking from his raise chin, “and since that fact has been established, I order you to go and wish him, with a smile.” I wrenched my hand out of his weak hold and tramped away.

“I’ll tell them you are scared of Ghosts!” he shouted mildly.

“Like they are going to believe you,” I snorted. A few of the seniors were looking at us so I decided to pace up.

“I’ll tell them that I stay-“ he shut up strategically and smirked victoriously when I pretty much came skipping back to him.

“What is wrong with you?” I sneered. “I am mad, remember?” he retorted, “Now before I shout it out to the world about living under the same roof as you, go and greet him.”

With a huff, I focussed on my Financial advisor and taking a deep breath walked towards him. It had always been him wishing me and I giving a curt nod in response and today, I had to make the first move.

“Excuse me?” I interrupted my Financial Advisor who had his headphones plugged into his ears. On seeing me, his shoulders jumped and he jerked the headphones out his ears.

“I am so sorry,” he apologised bowing, “I didn’t notice you! I am really sorry-“

“Hi!” There I had said it that too with a smile (I sincerely hoped that was a smile) and waited for him to respond. He stopped midway his flustered speech and stared at me as if I had confessed my long dying love for him. And when he continued to stare, I started feeling uncomfortable. I turned around to look at Kai and found him banging his classroom door, clutching his stomach and laughing his off. Then I looked back at my Financial Advisor who was still staring at me. The court jester entertains as long as the crowd laughs with him, it stops when the crowd laughs at him. So gathering little pieces of my shattered dignity, I walked forward towards my class making sure that my embarrassed blush did not look too evident.

I saw Sehun sitting at his place, staring at the window, when I entered class. He looked dazed but the next moment he looked as if he was in deep thought; a blank look, an intimidating scowl, he was oscillating between the two. Not wanting to disrupt his conversation with himself, I quietly took my seat and waited for the teacher to enter.

“Meet me during lunch” said the chit which Sehun passed. I gestured a ‘where’ and he just pointed his finger at the window. I guess he meant the basketball court. I thought about passing him a chit asking the reason but by then the teacher had entered and I did not feel like taking the risk anymore.

Sehun rushed out of the classroom the moment it was time for lunch. I had thought of catching up with him but he had just vanished. He never acted distanced, he could act nonchalant but not distanced but today, he looked distanced and disconnected, too busy in his own world.

“The Cafetaria,” Kai ordered as he passed by my classroom. He, indeed, just ordered because he did not even wait for me to explain my position for not being able to come. Sighing, I picked my lunch box and headed outside when I saw some six-seven pairs of female eyes glued to me. “Council stuff,” I defended and ran out of the room. I do not even, why I felt the need to defend. It was not as if they would link me with him!

“Kai, I can’t-“ He cut me off by stuffing the garlic bread which Jieun had forgot to give me, in my mouth. “I’ll listen to your excuses later,“ he said, “but first you’ll have to do a favour for me.” We were seated on the bench next to the window and yes, Kai’s over familiar attitude seemed to attract a lot of unwanted attention. If it was the normal me then I would have snapped at him and asked him to shut up but I realised that whenever he was around me I felt happy, for no apparent reason, and I never knew happiness could be so addictive that I was willing to let certain slips in my character, certain blotches in my image.

“What favour do you have from her?” Jieun asked, silently munching on her sandwich. She had seen the two of us, Kai and I, talking with each other and had invited herself in our group. Although, I always took my sister along in any event or social gathering I did not like it when she made herself comfortable between Kai and I. I don’t know, maybe I just wanted one sphere of my life to be untainted by her presence.

“A major favour,” Kai replied dramatically, “You see that girl at the corner table sitting alone?” He pointed his figure as conspicuously as possible towards a shy girl seated at one of the corner tables meant for only two people.

“I am not going to greet her,” I declared and picked my lunchbox. Kai held my wrist again and I gave him my most annoyed expression possible.

“Don’t make scary faces like that” He clicked his tongue in disapproval and went on, “You don’t have to greet her. She forgot to get her lunch and for some reason she is not willing to buy it from the café, so why don’t you go and share yours with her?”

“Why should I do it?” I whined.

“You are the President’ pat came the reply.

“Why don’t you do it?” I argued trying to avoid having any social interaction with unknown people.

“I can’t,” he defended vehemently, “I finished my lunch.”

Finding no other loophole to pounce upon, I grudgingly made my way to the girl sitting at the corner table.

I think I heard a faint ‘Service with a smile’ from Kai but that could be just me over thinking.

“President” the girl got up startled almost knocking off the chair she was sitting. What was with people? I hadn’t even talked to her and here, she was quivering in fear for no reason! Yes, I did take erse enjoyment in people’s submissive behaviour but not always!

“Relax,” I said as a means of comforting her but she seemed to be too busy organising her cluttered books on the table.

“Hey! Listen” I tried again, this time a little assertively. She stopped her nervous fiddling and stared at the table intently. “I saw you didn’t bring your lunch,” I began as politely as possibly, “and I will be unable to finish mine on my own so I was wondering, let’s share?” When she looked up I saw that she felt more hurt than happy, demeaned than empowered.

 Service with a smile.

With an immense amount of effort, I smiled and pushed my box towards her. A hint of a smile appeared on her lips, a glint of cheer sparkled from her eyes and as for me, I felt delighted. She said a shy ‘thank you’ to me but it felt like I had been just given the Nobel Prize for Peace. Such happiness could be found in others happiness!

I looked at Kai to show him what I had done but found him engaged in an animated conversation with Jieun. I tried catching his attention by waving my hand timidly but he was too engrossed to notice. Jieun’s fingers reached for Kai’s lips and wiped an invisible morsel of food at the corner of his mouth. Kai blushed and I turned to face my new acquaintance.

“Mind if I sit here with you?” It came out more as a demand than a request but she obliged nonetheless. The chair rattled as I sat down with unnecessary force and glared at my food. Not knowing what to do the poor girl distributed it among the two of us and waited for me to eat.

An indescribable rage was surging through my body at that time. A rage which knew no reason, had no bounds. They were just having a civil conversation. What was there to get mad about? Argued my logical side. Then why did Jieun have to act all caring for him? retorted a part of me I didn’t quite know. Jieun has always been caring, my logical side reasoned, and as for getting close, didn’t Kai clearly mention friendship was not his intention with Jieun?”

“I hope it doesn’t offend you,” the girl’s timid voice broke through my internal turmoil, “but I don’t think I will ever get a chance to say it.”

I shook my head as if to shush the warring sides and focussed on the girl in front of me.

“I-“ she hesitated while playing with the food on her plate,” I always found you cold, scary and unapproachable. When I first came to school, I saw how you had a tendency of treating people as if they were the dust of your feet.”

I narrowed my eyes and she immediately apoligised.

“Forgive me for my language,” she continued, “I am not quite articulate when I am nervous. I don’t even know why I am saying this.”

“Don’t’ be nervous,” I pacified her, “Go on.”

“There have been times when I desperately needed your help but I did not come to you in the fear of being humiliated. You have a select group of friends-Sehun oppa and Jieun to be particular- and you don’t seem to allow others to enter that circle. Because of your coldness, there have been many rumours going on about you in the school and like a cowardly soul, I believed in them and decided to label as someone to be avoided at all cost and circumstances. But today, when you offered to share your lunch with me, I felt delighted, delighted and privileged. In fact, the first thought which came to my mind was that once I go home I’ll boast about it to my family. However, I was still scared, petrified really, so I couldn’t accept your offer. Not to mention, I felt pitied and looked down upon. My ego may not be as great as yours may but I do have some. It was when you smiled, that I felt all those rumours render false, all those preconceived notions destroyed. You really do look different when you smile.”

She stopped and reached for a glass of water and when she didn’t say anything further I assumed that she was done talking.

This was how I looked through other people’s eyes. I looked at the mirror everyday but it never showed me the reality, this girl on the other hand made me see a whole different point of view. All I had done was smile and offer lunch and that simple gesture had made her believe that I had a different side to me, made her disbelief her entire foundation of wrong beliefs. I felt like hugging her for having telling me this because if she hadn’t I would have been indulging in only a selfish self introspection.

“Thank you,” I whispered. Her head jerked up and she looked at me, confused.

“Thank you,” I repeated, “I need to leave now but if ever, ever at all you need my help do not hesitate from talking with me, is that clear?” She nodded her head obediently. I picked up my box and headed out of the cafe, my eyes lined with tears of joy.

“Were you crying?”

That was the first thing Sehun asked me as I entered the netted basketball court. He was dribbling a ball deftly when I reached and unknown to his knowledge; I had spent a few minutes admiring him.

“Kind of,” I answered truthfully, as I comfortably sat on the empty court in Indian style.

“Since you didn’t lie, I am guessing it would be correct to assume that you are willing to share the reason?” he asked, his concentration still on the ball, his eyes still on the basket.

I smiled at his intuitiveness and said, “Yes. I made a new friend.” The ball never reached the basket but fell down mid air. However, Sehun who was staring at me intently, did not seem to care.

“Name?” he asked as he sat next to me, a tiny smile lingering at the corner of his mouth. I blushed. I didn’t know her name and with such confidence was I addressing her as my friend!

“Ask your friend tomorrow!” he laughed and ruffled my hair. I had missed his ruffling and his laugh. It had not been days of missing him but a lot had been going on in a single day, that it seemed like ages.

“So what was this international conspiracy you wished to hatch in the court?” I teased. Sehun smiled and shook his head as if debating whether he should ask his question.

“Are you close with Kai?” he asked, not meeting my eye. It was a normal question with a normal answer (No) but it was the framing of the question, which made my eyes bulge.

“Not really,” I mumbled.

“You sound disappointed!” he accused. Did I? I guess I did. Why did I? I had no intention of being close to a guy who had my property entitled to his name but then why did I feel disappointed.

“I am not,” I lied, “I am neutral and is this all that you had to ask?”

“He goes in the same car with you and your saying you are not close?” he accused, his words feeling like sharp knives. Frustrated, he huffed and brushed his hair back, which made him look ages older than me.

“What nonsense are you talking about Sehun?” I asked coolly. He couldn’t possibly know that Kai, Jieun and I were living together and travelling in the same car.

“Lie when you have the context to lie,” he sneered through gritted it, running his hand once again through his hair, “Didn’t Kai say yesterday, ‘the car won’t wait till your melodrama gets over’? isn’t that evidence enough?”

Oh my god! Now it hit me like a lightning ! Kai had revealed to Sehun that he was travelling in the same car as me! Arrggh! Infuriation was far too polite a term for what I was feeling right now! Part of me was angry, part of me wanted to rip Kai’s skull apart, part of me wanted to cry and part of me was scared, scared of Sehun who had by this time figured out that I was lying.

“Didn’t I tell you I won’t allow you to push me away like your sister?” What was a comical statement just a day ago sounded like a cold-blooded threat today. I shivered, I quivered; I fiddled, I fidgeted but to no avail, Sehun was still as intimidating as ever.

Taking a deep breath, he ruffled his own hair and I could see a glimpse of the Sehun I knew and loved. “Sorry,” he whispered, “Just tell me what is going on and I won’t be scary.”

So I told him everything, from the beginning, leaving no clause of the evening when the bomb was dropped on me. Sehun’s fist alternated between clenching and relaxing but overall, he took it less violently.

“Tell Jieun to stay away from him,” he said in a serious tone. No, Sehun, I leave my job as the messenger.

“Sure,” I whimpered. Such a spineless idiot I am!

“Do you want my father to intervene?” he offered hesitatingly. “No!” I yelled. “Don’t yell,” he reprimanded, “We are not talking about ego issues here. I know how much you want the property!”

“Still . . .” I stalled, “No.”

“Fine!” he said, flailing his hands in frustration. We sat there in each other’s company for a while. I could feel the anger exuding from Sehun’s body but I did not know the reason and I was not stupid enough to ask it and then get another round of scolding. So we just sat there, quietly. The bell rang for the next period and when he did not get up to attend it, I followed suit and sat there with him. It felt nice, just sitting there with him, the silence enveloping us.

“I intend to stay here till the school ends,” he said laughing. “Me too,” I complied. He smiled that silly, stupid smile and gently held my hand. “Even if the principal calls on you, I am not letting you go.”

I did not want him to let go.