Final Words.

“I can live alone, if self-respect and circumstances require me so to do. I need not sell my soul to buy bliss. I have an inward treasure born with me, which can keep me alive if all extraneous delights should be withheld, or offered only at a price I cannot afford to give.”

                                                                                                                                     -Charlotte Bronte, Jane Eyre

It was this very quote which got me thinking about the idea of perfection; What is perfection? How does one achieve it?

This story falls partially under the bildungsroman genre. There was a reason behind choosing the first person narrative. First person narratives can be intensely powerful and engaging. The ‘I’s and ‘my’s calls upon the self to engage with the story. The third person narrative on the other hand, detaches the author from the story from the very first line. It is usually an omniscient narrator telling the story as objectively as possible. It takes excellent writing skills to evoke a plethora of emotions through third person narration. An example of detached third person narrative would be The Search for Perfection. It is a fan fiction, I came across recently and the author is intensely detached. I am not saying it is a good thing or a bad thing, I am saying it is a different style of writing which if I had adopted would have influenced my story negatively.

I won’t deny the fact that certain things were intensely personal. I live in a country were being intelligent is a major priority. If you are not academically brilliant, society will give you a hard time and I love a country (South Korea) which is obsessed with beauty. Drawing parallels with both the countries, I have often been left in a dilemma.

Also, a certain anger had led me to write this story. I have read several ‘makeover’ fan fictions and I will not lie, I did fantasize about how wonderful it would be to be made physically beautiful by just applying makeup and wearing a pretty dress. But matter of fact is, things don’t work that way, things shouldn’t work that way. You are free to disagree with me on this, but I shall stick by the opinion that beauty is transient and does not lie in the perfect facial features. My anger was also directed at stories, which always portrayed the flawless younger/older sister to be either a perfect angel or a . I have a younger sister, I know sibling rivalry, and I know that things do not escalate from one extremity to another. Do not get me wrong! I am not saying there cannot be extreme sibling rivalries but the frequency in which they occur on AFF baffles me.

Many of you may be upset over the final pairing (Yixing x OC) although, I had left several hints here and there to prepare you for it, and there is a reason behind it. First, in a particular chapter I had stated how Yixing and Miyoung were the ones who had had a normal teenage life, falling and getting up on their own, learning and teaching others. Unlike, Kai or Sehun, Yixing’s life would actually be considered conventional. He was a greater teacher than Kai simply because he was the middle path, the ‘in between’ between two extremes, the extremes being; a disturbed life and a smooth life. Secondly, if the protagonist had ended up with Sehun or Kai, things would have been very fairytale like or so to say, perfect. My whole purpose of writing the story would have been defeated if that had happen!

I know this story suddenly paced up in the last few chapters. I jumped in many places, there are empty spaces; intended and unintended but it was because I was scared I would abandon the story. it is unrealistic of a girl who has been shelled in for 17 years to suddenly open up to a person in a few days, it is unrealistic for a random person to help her ( Come on! People are not that nice!) And I sincerely apologise for the hurried manner of the ending.

Having said that, the deliberate interstices in the story are made for the purpose of meaning making. If you notice, like an incredibly lazy author, I have just raised questions and answered none. I have left certain relationships (Sehun and OC, Kai and Jieun back-story) unexplained because I do not think they are important for the story and they are for you to imagine and interpret. I have written the kind of story I hate the most- open-ended story.

This story did not come out as I had originally planned but I am glad people loved it the way I had presented. 52 subscribers, 6 up votes, 1067 views, 75 comments and the most interactive readers ever (passive readers I love you too, I am guilty of being one myself), this journey has been amazing!

It sounds like I have been given the Man Booker Prize but then I do feel that great thanks to you all! Although, more comments and subcriptions will be duly appreciated (I am human, I am greedy.)

So Long Farewell Amigos!

Update 8/3/14: In chapter one, I had used the term 'ed' when Jieun finds herself incapable to collect sand. A lot of readers have found it rather odd and/or entertaining percieving it to be a sordid contextual mistake on my part. I have altered it because I cannot keep on correcting people but here is a much needed clarifictation. The term 'ion' has for long been used only for the discharge of causing to people to forget its other meaning -- "to utter or exclaim, passionately." If anyone of you read 19th century English Literature you would be familiar with the usage of this term in this context and since this story had heavy inclinations towards a little archaic English language I only found it fitting to litter it with words prevalent in that age. 

Having said that I have changed it now to "exclaim" to avoid further confusion.