#SeoKris - Reminiscing
~EXOSHIDAE ONE-SHOT DaiLy COLLECTION~
I know that God gave you to me and I know that God has no bad gifts but now all I feel is missing, spending times reminiscing.
I tied my neckties and wore my black suit. It’s hard to look any better when no one to tell me what I’m supposed to do. It’s been a while since I’m the one who responsible to comfort someone else, when what I feel was fragile even lonely, but now I can smile again.
“You smile, I smile,” I crack a smile when I faced the oval mirror that hanging on my wall, yet it doesn’t took a lot of times before turned again into the sad one. Sometimes it could be really hard to be happy when loneliness filled up your life.
I grabbed a bunch of red roses on my dressing table which I bought this morning, red, fresh and fragrant. The smell is just like you, I still can smell it although lots of perfumery come and gone but the most adhering is yours.
Suddenly my cell phone was ringing loudly indicating there was a call from someone. I answered and I could hear a familiar yet melodical shouting, leaded the conversation,
//Yah! Appa! Where are you? Aren’t you coming?//
//I’m on my way, Yi Joo.// I answered with a relief voice,
//You’d better hurry! Don’t be such a lazy snail! Mom is waiting for you.//
Mom. Yes, she certainly waited for me, Wu Yi Joo’s mother, or should I said, my wife. Sorry for making you wait for me, Seo Joo Hyun.
//Tell her to wait for me, the Superdaddy is on his way from the sky..// I joked and I heard a peals of laughter on the other line,
//Gosh, Appa, stop it // She paused, // I wonder why eomma left the funniest guy like you.// Her voice trailed off,
I took a deep breath before replying her question –a very hurt question, //She didn’t. It just fated.// I said wisely, yet I feel suffered a lot.
//Guess you’d be soon. Bye Appa..// She said and ended up her call,
I exhaled some airs, why did you leave me, Seohyun? Aren’t you loved me? You said our love is forever but why the forever is over? Stop regretting, Wu Kris.
I immediately locked the main door and walked to the place where my daughter was being. I willfully not using my car since the direction is not so far and it still morning though. I loved morning so much. I would be so regret if I missed morning time. The morning situation is the best moment I’ve ever knew because it was morning when the first time I saw her,
It was a Sunday morning. She was on the park bench with a guy while holding a Bible in her hand. With her flawless hair hang loosely and her cute dress which I found fit perfectly on her. She was talking with her older brother happily and didn’t recognize about my presence who walked passed in front of her just to catch your attention. She was so happy talking about her favorite cartoon, Keroppi. She could talk nonstop about every episode it has while the guy beside her only gave her a small nod and smiling –which could make her so happy and she smiled as well. I observed her eyes intently from afar and every move she made were perfect on my eyes, her smile, her laugh, her gaze, her angry face which I found so cute for everyone who saw it, her funny face when she puffed her cheeks and everything’s perfect. I wanted to talk to her at that time. I wanted know her well and time was perfect. The guy left her for a moment to buy some hot coffees for both of them. It was the most precious time for me.
I walked nervously towards her but she kept her eyes on somewhere. It made me doubt to do my mission to have a nice chitchat with her. Should I spoke up? I’m not quite sure since she wasn’t giving me any radar but I did and that’s become the beginning of everything.
“Uhm.. Miss..” I cleared my throat and paused as she turned around,
“Is there any problem, Sir?” She asked nicely,
Her voice just melted me, a warm and polite one. I used to hate all of the princesses characters from every fairytale story, Cinderella with her soft voice, Snow White with her white skin, rapunsel with her flowing hair, Aurora with her lady-like, Belle with her kindness, and Ariel with her smile, I just hated them but this one is the exception. Her soft voice, flawless skin, fabulous hair, lady-like, kindness, and her gorgeous smile are everything that I loved.
“Is this yours?” I asked and handed her a handkerchief which I got on the ground near the bench where she sat on,
She looked at the familiar handkerchief for a moment and smiled, “Oh yeah, it’s my brother’s.” She paused. It was a relief when she said that the guy who walks with her is her brother. It means I got one chance. What chance? Chance to make a move, kkkk~
“I think it just falling when he stood up. Thank you so much.” She continued and took off the handkerchief on my hand, that’s the first time her soft skin touched mine and that moment was the first time our eyes met,
“I can see lots of colors shined from her beautiful eyes..” I mumbled while focusing my view on my hand, bringing the feeling when she touched my hand long time ago, “It was long time, yet your soft hand which such as a cotton still felt on.”
After that time, I always went to the park every Sunday morning but she wasn’t come soon like I was hope. It’s been a month since I couldn’t see her anymore, I was hopeless and then I decided to hope that she’ll go to that park. But then, I start wondering my fate when I met her again in the florist. She was buying a bunch of red roses like what I bring right now on my left hand,
I went to the nearest florist to buy a bouquet of flowers for my cousin’s marriage. She seems like really loves that red roses, she smelled it and couldn’t stop adoring that flower although that flower is full of thorn.
As an opportunist, I used the chance to brave myself talk to her and I got her attention. We kept our communications and I feel so joyful when I could make that face changed into the happy one everytime she saw me, I could make her burst into a hard laugh whenever I acted like an idiot although it wasn’t my type. I’m not kind of guy who loves to make jokes and made someone’s laugh. I used to look someone with only a glare, talks hurt words and arrogant. But for her, I changed myself. To be someone different, always bring a happy aura, and could bring a smile to another,
“Oppa.. Do you know something? I always pray for God to change me to be such a merrymaker and can bringing smiles to them when they upset.” She said with a low tone like a little girl, I immediately burst into a laughed and she gave me a weird stare, “Why are you laughing?” She asked confusedly,
“See, you can make me laugh. And do you know? You always be my merrymaker.” I said gently to make her feel better,
“It’s not kind of laugh that I mean, you such a funny boy!” She hit my belly lightly as she giggled and I caressed her head,
But I’m not lying. All I said is true. She’ll always be my merrymaker. Only by seeing her eyes is enough to kill all of my pain. Her beautiful eyes are the best view my eyes could seen. I don’t know why but she can increase my good mood somehow. Only by listening to her voice, make me feel like I have wings to fly.
I chuckled remembering that time, “My merrymaker,” I said when I back to the reality,
Everytime was just wonderful when we spent it together. I feel like her warm body covering mine and her voice whispered on my ears again. Every word let is magical. She always knows how to say, to make me feel better. She always knows how to act when I got jealous because of another guy tried to catch your attention. She always knows how to melt me when I’m in the North Pole. She always gets my heart back like she used to do,
“Oppa! Look! Kyuhyun-oppa gave me this..” She run towards me and showed a teddy bear holding a fake gift,
“That’s ugly.” I replied reluctantly,
“Omo.. How hurts.. Yah, said that this is cute!” She yelled,
“That’s ugly because it’s given by him. And I want you to give it back to him,” I said without looking at her,
“Hmm.. You can get angry easily, Oppa, such an angry bird.” She mumbled while turned around,
“Yah Seo Joo Hyun! I heard that! How could you said that I such an angry bird?” I pretended to be angry and start tickling her like a kiddo playing in the kindergarten,
“Angry bird. What a very cute nickname..” I laughed and sighed at the same moment, “The time when I proposed her…”
If that Kyuhyun guy gave her a teddy bear holding a gift, now I’ll give her a true gift. Gift that wanted by many girls around the world. A very sacred gift, the most important gift, yup, an engagement ring.
I walked to the park with a red rose on my right hand which I hid behind my back. I walked behind her who already waited for me. Slowly, she felt pair of arms were covering her eyes till she couldn’t see anything,
“Kris-oppa… I know it’s you.” She said with a chuckled and I immediately removed my palms from her eyes and standing before her,
“This is for you, my Lady..” I bowed my body a little and gave her a red rose,
“When did you change to be so romantic like this?” She teased with a smirk while bring nearer the rose to her nose,
“Since I bought you a gift..” I said happily and let out the small gift inside the box decorate with a pink ribbon,
“Omo.. What’s that? Is it for me?” Her voice become so curious and nervous as well,
“Sure it’s for you. Open it.” I commend and she opened that small box,
suddenly wide open and so do her eyes. She was speechless and frozen. She then turned her gaze onto mine with a questionable look,
“Seo Joo Hyun, would you marry me?”
That’s the most memorable words my mouth ever let out. And my ears such heard a laud from angels when she said ‘I do’.
1 year after it, we are married. I used to hear from everyone around me that we are the most flawless couple ever. We had love, we had joyfulness, we had everything that so rarely to be felt by another. And everything become complete because of the arrival of a little beauty angel sent from above to us. Wu Yi Joo, the unification of my name, Yi Fan, and hers, Joo Hyun. But then, it comes, the nightmare of our loves. She fell on the ground after we were dancing among the stars on the balcony. She was pale at that time. I’m afraid. I’m afraid if something bad happens to her and it happened. The doctor told me that she had cancer and it would be so hard to heal. I was angry at those times. Why is she hides that dangerous secret? At least she should tell me so I could help her on her medicinal treatment.
Cancer isn’t a usual illness. I’m scared if she have to leave me in the future just because that illness. I started cursing myself, I felt fail to be her guardian. And I just feel hurt inside when I have to see her lying weakly on the bed with a fake smile that she made to look tough in front of people,
“Honey, what do you feel?” I took a seat on a small chair beside her bed as I brought her favorite flower – red rose.
“Never better,” She smiled, “Aren’t you supposed to be working now?” She asked with such a wonder tune,
“So you think that my career is more important than you?” I paused with a light smirk, “It will never happen,” I continued as I kissed her forehead,
“Where’s my little angel?” She asked worriedly as she couldn’t find out someone else with me,
“Seems like you miss her that much and not me,” I pretended to be sad,
“You will always be the same but not her. She will always growing up everytime and I don’t want to miss that time,” She said with her casual mother-like tone,
“You will never miss everything,” I said try to make a little spirit for her as I kissed her on top of her head,
Everyday I had to see her became weakly and more weakly. The red rose beside her always wilt and more wilt everyday. Every effort we did only for her recovery. But every therapy just seemed wasted away. And finally the top of her pain came in the Sunday morning. I looked at her face which so pale like a mannequin. Her eyes describing a very painful pain as she tried her best to show up her last words,
“Sorry for not telling you about my illness since the first time we met and thank you so much for being my present. You are the most valuable gift I have ever got. Promise me we will make the endless love. Just our hearts, no more and don’t you ever regretting even cursing God because I promise myself to always beside you, forever and ever.”
And that’s the beginning of our endless love. She always owns my heart and so do I. We belong together. And distance isn’t the separates of our love.
I stared at her gravestone with teary eyes. I’m not regretting at all. If I could change my fate, I still choose this fate than never met you before. You are the best thing, that’s ever been mine and I believe that you always standing beside me, hold my hand, and walked with me.
“I know that God gave you to me and I know that God has no bad gifts but now all I feel is missing, spending times reminiscing.” I said as tear falls from my eyes,
You are never really gone. Your face still shines in the sky, your warm breath still blowing with the wind, your smell will always be the same like the blossom roses in the park, your smile so bright like the sun in the morning. I miss you, Seohyun.
“Appa! Gwaenchanayo?” Suddenly the very familiar voice spread out from nowhere,
“Yi Joo.. You startled me,” I said as I turned around to face my beloved daughter,
“Eomma, daddy’s here. You miss him, right? Yey! Family time! Eomma, I just got into Seoul University. You must be proud of me, don’t you? And Appa just got a promotion! How about you, eomma? You must be the one that make all flowers around the world blooming, right? Oh that’s the best!” Yi Joo starts talking nonstop in front of her mother’s gravestone while the wind blowing so soft around us. I know you are laughing right now, aren’t you Seohyun? See, you will never miss any single changes of our daughter’s growth. She isn’t the little girl we used to tickle.
Sometimes love can’t be seen but it has to feel because love is like the wind, we can’t see it but we feel it.
No matter what happens
Even when the sky is falling down
I’ll promise you
That I’ll never let you go
You, When I fell
you held me back up with an unfaltering gaze
And You, through those sad times
held my hands till the end of the world
I might be a shabby person who has never done anything for you
But today, I am singing this song just for you
Tonight, within those two eyes and a smile
I can see the pains from protecting me
You and I together. It’s just feels so right
Even though i bid you goodbye, to me this world is just you
You and I together, don’t ever let go of my hands
even though i bid you goodbye, to me this world is just you
Our love has changed a bit by bit just like others
But don’t be sad
Hopefully I will be someone who you can trust like an old friend
and someone you can lean onto
I promise you that I’m be right here baby
I close my eyes lightly whenever I feel lonely again
I no longer fear when your breath holds me
No one in the world can replace you
You are the only one in I’ll be there for you baby
Just you and I
Forever and ever..
Park Bom - You And I
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