Jessica’s POV

            I looked into my reflection through the glass-mirror –as I expected before nothing special with my own appearance today. I flashed a bitter smile while I combed my hair with my delicate fingers. On the outside, people might assume that I’m a cheerful, fun and happy Jessica –but deep down hidden the gloomy and fragile Sooyeon. I sighed for numerous times already as the time ticking like crazy –much to my dissatisfaction, though.

            The smile I wore since yesterday was already gone –as I felt a tear streamed down from my left eyes. Well, people says that if your first teardrops came from the left side it would be mean sadness or sorrow, while when it came from the right side, then it means happiness. I shook my head –how silly I am, it supposed to be a sad occasion yet I couldn’t help to think about that stupid myth. Seriously, Sooyeon!

            I wiped the tears with my back hand, preventing more tears to flow down and messing my makeup. I guess I need to convince myself harder that everything was better off this way. There would be no one who felt hurt or guilty –as I wished for. But it never crossed my mind before that it somehow could be the hardest thing to do. No, you can’t regret what you had done, Sooyeon. It was the best way for both of you.

            Right, the best decision for both parties –no, mostly it was just for me and my selfishness. I did something that caused an innocent person’s heartache and I played with someone’s heart without me knowing it will hurt both guys I loved at the same time, Kim Joonmyun and Lu Han.

            Well, it all began two years ago as I saw him for the first time on my friend’s birthday party. He caught my attention from the first meaningful glance as I ended up, keeping an eye for him, from the beginning until the end. He looked so fun, young, wild, and free –traits I craved a lot in a guy. His face haunted me like a nightmare, as I couldn’t even remember that I’m no longer a single woman.

            Call it such a bad luck, as he finally acknowledged my presence and began to have a small chat with me. I learned about his job, his hobbies, and his habit from the first meeting. He was such a good and nice guy –not to mention a gentleman.

            “ So, Jessica, are you up for another meeting, cause I feel like to know you better….” His first words that successfully brought my cheeks redden in blush.

            I was pretty sure I didn’t on the right state if my mind, when I nodded my head in approval. If I knew thing would turn out ugly like this then I should reject it from the first place –so that this stories would never be happen. But it was all too late now, everything happened –much to my presumption.

***

            “ My mother asked me to bring you home for dinner. So, would you like to grant her wish, Sooyeon? “ He said as he placed his palms on mine. His face showed some kind of sincerity and love as I didn’t have a heart to say no each time he asked.

            But not today –there was something I need to do tonight and it didn’t include my fiancé or his family.

            “ I don’t think I can make it tonight Joonmyun. Did I tell you the previous night, I had meeting to attend? “ I withdrew my arms from his, pretending to take a sip on my macchiato. I saw his brows furrowed in disappointment –I was feeling guilty already even before my date with another guy began. So this was the feeling, then.

            “ It’s alright… I tell her when I’m home tonight, she should know her future daughter-in-law is such a workaholic as she needs to get used to it….” He gave me his reassuring smile –I cracked a smile as I caressed his hands that lied just across mine. Well, Joonmyun and I had been dating for five years already –he was my senior in highschool back then. I was so madly in love with him as people started to envy our relationship.

            Our families were already known each other and they blessed our relationship –much to our delight. We started to make a step higher for our relationship exactly three months ago as he proposed to me in front of all my friends. It was the most wonderful feeling I have ever felt. He was always been good and nice to me –despite of me being a little too stubborn sometimes. He was the only person I could lean on, the only one who understand me inside and out. I didn’t know what will I did without him by my side.

            But misery loves company –true enough then. Our relationship was on the verge of breakup when I found him cheating behind my back with her co-worker. He said it was just a mistake and that he didn’t do anything with the woman –simple date won’t count. The girl turned out to be my acquaintance, Kim Taeyeon. It was the most terrible problem of our five years relationship. I remember myself being mad as I kept throwing things to him and refused to meet him for weeks. But, then I felt my heart went softer even after seeing his efforts to win my heart back. He promised it was the last time and that he promised to become a better person for the sake of our love and our relationship. And he did –he really did what he promised back then.

            I decided to burry the bitter memories to the ground –about the pain that he caused and all. I=Like he had said, it was for the sake of our relationship.

            “ Send my regards for them, alright? I need to go back to office just now, see you soon then…“ I tried to cover my lies with a small kind of affection. I got up and gave him a light peck on his cheeks –his face looks better as he nodded and consent me to go. I began to fasten my pace, and before I finally leave his figure, I turned to look at his direction and a bitter smile plastered on my lips.

***

            The moment I stepped inside the café –I saw his playful smile welcoming my presence. He was as handsome as ever, wearing a pair of blue jeans and white shirt that fitted perfectly on his figure. I walked confidently into his place –glad that I put some makeup first before fleeing from my workplace. I seated my self before him.

            “ Thanks for coming…” He greeted me. His warm and playful smile never once faded from his face –I smiled politely in return.

            “ You’re welcome –I will never miss a chance to meet such a great guy like you….” He laughed upon hearing my remark. Well, it wasn’t really accident if you want to know, ‘cause I really mean it. The very first meeting explained everything. He suppressed his laughter as he began to observe me this time round.

            “ You too… I have never met a girl like you before….” His soft voice sounded so mellifluous to me. I watched him stir his glass of orange juice –based on its color. I hide my blushing face by turning my head down for a brief moment.

            “ Like me? “ I pointed my self as he nodded confidently –eyes keep looking on mines.

            “ You’re um… what words should I say? Um, pretty, approachable, confident, and maybe a bit feisty…”

            I lifted my eyes as we’re facing eye to eye. I swore I had never met a pair of eyes that gave me such feeling before. It was warm, confident, fun, all in one package –I haven’t once found on my fiancé’s figure.

            We began to chat and laugh like two newly lovebird. He had an amazing personality –he amused me a lot with his silly yet entertaining nature. He made me laugh even without much effort. I was nearly forgot everything about Joonmyun –it was just a night for us. I didn’t even recognize it was late already –his company really a cure for me and my work. The clock read 10 pm already as he offered me a ride home. I nodded without any second thoughts –it was just a ride afterall, nothing gonna happen right?

            He drove me home that night.

            “ It was really fun… I’m looking forward to have another date with you…” He stated just when we’re parked outside my house. His sight went from the steering wheel and diverted into my direction. Somehow I feel this wasn’t the kind of feeling I wanted to happen.

            “ Yeah… having a partner like you really entertaining. I could just sit all day and watch you talk…” I gave him my brightest smile, as I prepared myself to get out from his car.

            He stared into my eyes directly. I found my cheeks redden as I tried my best to hide it from him. Why does he have to be that attractive? –So that I could fell easily into his heart? Oh, please.

            “ Jessica…. I ….” He pulled my arms, as he leaned closer –I could feel his breath across my skin.

            I blinked my eyes rapidly as my sense began to back to its place. His lips crushed into mine while eyes keep watching me intensely. I was so out of my mind, when I began to kiss him back. It was very lovingly at first until it began to get more passionate. I felt the sudden shiver on my body –I didn’t know when it started but one thing for sure, I knew I loved him.

***

            “ Heeey! “ He greeted me while I had just lost in my thought for a million times already. I couldn’t stop thinking about him. Gosh, why did this guilty happen after two months had passed? It was all too late –I’ve already drown too deep to my own mess.

            “ You spacing out again…” He stated. I might look flustered just now. He laughed upon seeing my bewilderment face. I hit him lightly as he pretended to feign a hurtful expression.

            “ Yah! Stop laughing at me, won’t you? “ I pursued my lips. He had known everything about me despite us meeting a few months ago.

            “ Ouch… That’s pretty hard for a slender girl like you….” He always loves to tease me –much to my dissatisfaction, though. I gave him the famous ice glare, people used to say. Instead of being guilty he just sticking his tongue out, leaving me even more irritated. Well, not really –as I actually love his weird kind of affection towards me.

            “ Sica-ah… It was two months already since we’re official… Why don’t you invite me to your house like another girl around your age do? I want to know your family, I want to meet your father and maybe I could hang with your mother or sister…” He laughed childishly.

            I stood still and only giving him a silent treatment. He noticed my changed facial expression.

            “ I guess I need an extra time, Luhan… It’s only two months… “ My throat went dry all of sudden. He gave me his concern look as he massaging my palms gently.

            “ It’s okay, I guess I can wait… We’re still have a lifetime to look forward to…” He winked at me. I faked a smile as my mind began to dwell on such things again.

            Well, after all these time, I began to liking him –no, love would be the perfect word. He was the kind of guy I wanted, as he taught me how to loosen up despite me being a little serious. His childlike laughter always brought a smile on my lips. His weird kind of affection that always successfully drew me into him. It was something I couldn’t have with my fiancé Kim Joonmyun.

            But, I didn’t know why sometimes I found myself sitting back and crying. I suppose to be happy now, as I finally did what I called a vengeance. I thought I would be happen smoothly as I just want to pay back of the time he cheated on me, but I had no idea of me fallen into my own trap. As my game went as I expected to happen, I found myself loving him –it was so out of my control.

            I love him and I also happen to love Luhan. Something I couldn’t just avoid no matter how hard I tried to deny. It was just happened this way.

***

            “ Joonmyun? What are you doing here? “ My brows furrowed after recognizing the familiar figure. His usual sweet and innocent smile spread across his face. I took a step forward to approach him.

            “ Why? Are you surprise? I decided to give my soon-to-be-wife a visit…” He remarked. The moment he mentioned about marriage thingy –it would bring a small pang inside. I heaved a sigh trying to compose myself.

            “ That’s so sweet of you…” I replied half-heartedly. I was feeling uneasy –it was out of what I thought it would be. I thought the feeling of revenge would be pleasurable yet it didn’t. Instead of bring me a happiness it lead me into a remorseful and torture. It really pained me each time I saw his innocent smile –as I had never once consider such things before.

            “ Hey… Do you know what? I missed the time we used to spend together when we’re just a student… You know, like walking around the town, go to amusement park, or just sitting on the park, eating ice cream…”

            I was so speechless –I had nothing to say. Why did you have reminds me all those things? Is this your way of torture me? I was on the verge of crying just now as my heart aching –it was really ache I couldn’t even breath properly.

            The tears flowed down from my eyes as I blinked it unintentionally. He rushed to come into my way and pulled me into his tight embrace as he caressed my hair with his fingers. The feeling I had never once appreciated before –as I had been blinded with my obsession to take revenge on his unfaithfulness. I knew I suppose to forgive and forget but I couldn’t just take it easily. I was being so stubborn and ended up hurting me myself alone.

            “ What’s wrong? “ His voice snapped my thought. I took a huge amount of air as I tried to control my sobs. My heartache didn’t get any better but at least it was a bit calmed down just now. He wiped the remaining tears on my face –his concern and worry face haunted me these past two months. Ever since I started my affair with a guy named Luhan, I have met previous time ago.

            “ I love you…” I really mean what I said. I indeed love him so much –I didn’t want to lose him even though he might not be the best man on the whole universe.

            He cracked a smile.

            “ I know, I love you too…”

            He pulled me even harder now –not wanting any space to parting us. I hugged him back, as I breathed in his scent –his embrace still the same embrace I love the most. There would be no one who can replace him.

***

            I waved my hands with such a pace as I saw his presence closer into my direction. I bit my lips as I began to remember about things I need to settle just now. He never forgot to put a usual bright smile he had. I wish I had some strength –this was what I suppose to do.

            “ The moment you asked me for this sudden meeting, I rushed from my office all the way here….” He smiled. Jesus, why did you have to make it even harder?

            He settled himself beside me. I tried my best to avoid his gaze by keeping my eyes down. He grabbed me by my shoulder, forcing me to face him. I had nothing to refuse –as I let him face me eye to eye.

            “ What’s wrong? Are you sick? “

            Please, not again. Will you stop being so kind to me?

            I shook my head. My heart pumped faster as I never felt before –I need to do it now. You can do it, Jung Sooyeon!

            “ Luhan… I-I think… I want a breakup….” There I said it. His brows furrowed yet he didn’t flinched nor do anything except for staring at me for short period of time.

            “ Luhan… I-I’m serious… I want a breakup… We can’t be together! “

            This time I felt a pair of eyes went straight into mines. To my surprise –he began to chuckle lightly while smiling like nothing had happen –I frowned.

            “ Sica-ah… Stop joking, you’re not even good at it! “ He began to take a softer approach by pulled me into his embrace. I tried to withdraw my body apart from him –I wish he understood that I really mean it.

            “ Please, stop Luhan… It’s not going to work out…”

            I got up from my seat immediately, back-facing him as tears began to flow down my cheeks. He followed me after, and taking me by my arms –this time slightly harder.

            “ But, why Sica-ah? I thought you love me…”

            He kept bugging me off until there’s no way I could handle my urge inside. I shouted at him, for the first and last time since I met him months ago.

            “ BECAUSE I HAD A FIANCE ALREADY! I’m cheating from him with you! “

            I swore I see his eyes widened in complete shock. I felt like I’m the worst person ever alive as I finally tear his innocent heart into pieces –I just played with someone’s heart for my own selfishness. He took a step backward –I had never seen his eyes with such anger. It was done, he’s going to hate me –he will hate me forever. The moment he left me, I burst into tears as I really cried myself out. I’m sorry- I’m really sorry.

***

            “ Sooyeon, are you done already? We’re going late….” The melodious voice broke my thoughts. I spruced myself up, before lifted my eyes facing the glass-mirror. I should put a smile today –it was his wedding day afterall.

            I stepped out hurriedly as I found a familiar figure, waiting for me by the doorstep. He looked as handsome as ever –wore a pair of black suit that complimented his well-built body. After all these years, he decided to hit the gym frequently and so it was the result. A smile spread on my lips, as I took his hands.

            We drove into a place –well, it was a church to be exact. I heaved a sigh –this was the time Sooyeon, you have to release all those feelings you had for him and buried every single moment in the past. It was better off this way –we’re never meant to be together to begin with.

            I saw him standing tall by the end of aisle, while waiting for his bride to come from the front porch. He looked contented and happy –much to my satisfaction. I felt a tight grip on my hands as I felt my husband kissing me cheek gently. Right –I married Joonmyun a year ago, as I last saw his figure attending my wedding ceremony. He left with such brokenhearted back then. I was carrying my first child with Joonmyun just now as my pregnancy began to take the second trimester. I couldn’t wait for my daughter to come out to the world, though.

            The wedding march began to play, as the wedding ceremony started. Everything went smoothly much to his expectation. It was the time when the preacher asked for his vows.

            I saw him glancing at me for a seconds –I nodded and gave him the best smile. I saw he curved a smile in return before back to facing his beautiful bride.

            “I, Luhan, take you Im Yoona to be my friend, my lover, and my wife. I’ll stick to you in times of sickness and in times of health, in times of joy and in times of sorrow. I promise to cherish and comfort you, to care and protect you and remaining faithful until death tear us apart “

            Everyone began to clap their hands with no exception –me. I was glad he finally found his happiness. He was a good guy, he deserved a good girl as well and I found it in Yoona-ssi. They looked very much alike, as they shared almost similar personalities. It was the end of everything. I married my husband, Kim Joonmyun who’s caring and kind, and he married Im Yoona, the girl that I know won’t break his heart like I did in the past.

            I felt my heart at ease. It was the end and I had never felt so free like I did just now. It was like I finally breakthrough a barrier that happened to cage me all this times. I know this would be the brand new beginning for both of us and I’m not going to regret everything that had happened in the past. I found a true meaning of loving a person and it was all thank to him –Luhan.

Remember all the things we wanted
Now all our memories they're haunted
We were always meant to say goodbye

Even with our fists held high
It never would've worked out right
We were never meant for do or die

I didn't want us to burn out
I didn't come here to hold you, now I can't stop

I want you to know that it doesn't matter
Where we take this road someone's gotta go
And I want you to know you couldn't have loved me better
But I want you to move on so I'm already gone

Looking at you makes it harder
But I know that you'll find another
That doesn't always make you want to cry

Started with a perfect kiss then we could feel the poison set in
Perfect couldn't keep this love alive
You know that I love you so, I love you enough to let you go

I'm already gone, already gone
You can't make it feel right when you know that it's wrong
I'm already gone, already gone
There's no moving on so I'm already gone

Already gone, already gone, already gone
Already gone, already gone, already gone, yeah

Remember all the things we wanted
Now all our memories they're haunted
We were always meant to say goodbye
 

Already Gone - Kelly Clarkson

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A/N : Sorry for the time kekeke I hope you guys enjoy it. The story dedicated to SoYou_Angel. Thanks for requesting, chingu J Since she wanted a story where there’s two handsome guys for Jessica, then I came out with this idea. Oh, I got the inspiration by an old song from Kelly Clarkson entitled Already Gone. I thought it would fit perfectly with the story I’m going to write so yeah, you guys better check it out ^^