Kai was greeted with the delicious smell of soup and the feeling of something wet on his forehead. His head hasn’t felt that much lighter yet, but better than last night. He could barely remember anything about last night, except Jieun freaking out expression as she rushes out the door. He tried to reach her and made her stay, yet no energy nor could words come out as his body turn limbs from heating up. He groaned, his temperature has dropped but he hasn’t feel that well yet. He swing his arm to the spot next to him, only to find it empty, she wasn’t there.

He was scared; it was unusual of her to be missing. She’d always be there, cuddling to his embrace, gently rubbing his back and patting it. Her presence was comforting to her, that he no longer has to suffer from the morning disease. Yet today, she was nowhere. He couldn’t even smell her scent, nor could he feel her traces of presence. It scared him; his chest pounding, afraid that she might be leaving him for good, but why?

He grunted, after a failure attempt of standing up. His head was dizzy, it was surprisingly heavy and he didn’t prepare for any of that. He once again tried to stand up, holding on to the edge of his bed. He wasn’t wearing any clothes; he was , revealing his abs. His body was soaked in his own sweat, thanks to the fever he had last night. Jieun must be staying awake the whole night, taking care of him, and hugging him to his comfort, yet he was disappointed, being unable to see her when he wakes up.

It took him longer to go down the stairs. The smell of the soup greeted him again, it smells nice that his stomach started growling, yet he wasn’t interested in eating. He was worried about her. She freaks out last night and turns missing when morning come. He was afraid, very afraid she’d be in danger. He fears she would be leaving him.

But it didn’t take long, before his lips curl up to a smile. He catches a figure of the beautiful young lady, diligently cooking at their small and rather messy kitchen. The EXO has woken up earlier; they are all waiting for her to finish the dish. Their eyes glisten at the look of it, and their stomach, too, growl at the smell of it. Kai could only smile, seeing how much she cares for him. It put his heart in peace, as he’s sure she wasn’t going to leave him.

He wrapped an arm around her waist, pulling their body closer to feel each other warmth. He rested his chin against her shoulder and kissed the crock of her neck. He could smell her scent; he could feel her overwhelming warm. He suddenly felt better. He greeted her a good morning, with his deep husky voice, hoping it’d send shudders down her spine and made her fall for him even more, yet he was wrong.

She was being nonchalant, continuing cooking without giving the slightest attention to her boyfriend. She looked rather anxious and depressed; worried after some serious matter that Kai can’t seem to figure it out. She was drowning in her thoughts, not even noticing Kai presence or considering him important. She was feeling cold, despite his overwhelming warm that wrapped her.

“Jieun, good morning~.” He greeted her again, gently but louder than before.

“Oh, Jongin. Good morning,” she shoved his arm off her waist, walking to the other side of the kitchen, trying to get some stuff from the cabinet.

“Let me help you with it,” he was indeed shocked, but decided to approach her with another tricks. He helps her opens the cabinet, as it is easier for him, due to his height.

“No, I can do it myself. Why don’t you just sit back with the others and wait for me to finish?” She coldly stated, pushing him away.

“Jieun… is anything wrong? You’re acting weird.”

“N- No. Everything is fine. Just go.”

It was shocking to him, how she pushes him away. Never once did she ever push him away, refusing his touch, and running away from his presence. She was always there, waiting for him patiently. She would longs for his presence, for his warmth to run down her skin, and for him to be by her side. She used to be desperate to be with him, to stay by his side, to have no distance separating them, but today she refused him.

***

Lee Ji Eun wasn’t in her own apartment, where everything is bound to darkness and liquor to keep her sober. She was in the EXO’s place and she had an image to live on and keep up with it, or else it may destroy her career. She was struggling hard not to gulp down any liquor to keep her from insanity; she was trying to calm herself down. If she had been in her own apartment, she’d have been gulping down bottles of alcohol by now. She’d have gotten herself drunk, trying to fix her anxiety and doubt.

She was thinking about running away back home, to bind herself to the darkness and let the liquor went down . She was thinking of leaving him, took a cab, and went to a bar, drinking as much as alcohol she could. She’d like to do it, very badly. She was bound to live up with the alcohol, it keeps her sane. She desperately needs alcohol, yet despite the injury Kai had brought upon her, she still loved him – foolishly in love with him.

She spent the whole night taking care of him, as he keeps on the same thing all over again – how he begs for the woman not to leave her, as Lee Ji Eun is simply nothing to him. It was painful, yet she was too much blinded by love. She was hurting, yet despite her struggles, she can’t leave him. She stayed by his side, trying to cure his fever, placing the wet cloth on his forehead. She’d sleep by his side, hugging him, ignoring the fact that she might be the next target of the fever. She was that much loyal, that much foolish.

She was breaking down, yet she tried hard not to show it. When his arms suddenly wrapped her tiny waist, she shudders. It made her wonders if he ever truly loved her, if his words are lies. It made her wonder if the words I love you that easily slipped through his lips meant something. She love him, with her body and soul, she could give everything for him. She swears everything in this world meant nothing compared to him, yet why?

She didn’t want to cry, she didn’t want to see him, as she was stirring the pot, and she pushes him away. She was unsure, she doubted him for too much. Sometimes, she wonders what love meant. Their love, instead of a sweet romantic story, it had so much anxiety and doubt. It wasn’t something that supposed to be called love, yet her heart was telling her it is love. As much as she wanted to leave him by now, she can’t, because she has long turn blind.

“Ah!” She screams, she was drown in her thoughts, that she accidentally spilled the hot water.

“IU-ssi, are you okay?” It was him again, his voice, Xi Luhan.

He quickly ran to her, as he was the first to notice how she had injured herself. He quickly grab her wrist and held her back, gently guiding her to the washtub, pouring her burnt skin with cold water. She had no reaction at all, despite how badly it was burnt. Her pale white skin turns to a burnt red one, as it must have stings very badly. Luhan cringes at the sight of it, yet he frowned when he found her being soulless after the incident last night.

He remembers seeing her having an attack, a panic attack, as she exited Kai room and with much struggles, she tried walking down the stairs. He remembers seeing her breaking down, yet pretended to be okay. He saw it, when she took pills to calm herself down. He knows something is wrong with her, yet without him knowing the reason, his heart ache for her. And now, she’s being soulless, looking blank and rather cold.

“Jieun, are you okay?!” Kai quickly ran to her, pushing Luhan off her.

“I – I’m fine. I’m fine.” She quickly rubbed her burnt skin and cringes at the stingy pain, before pushing Kai off her and continued her work.

“Jieun, tell me what’s wrong? You’re acting weird!” Kai grabbed her wrist and forces her to meet his strong gaze.

“I told you nothing is wrong.” Jieun whispers, barely audible.

“Jieun, please tell me. You’re making me worried.”

“Jongin, nothing is wrong.”

He quickly run an arm against her back, rubbing it as he pulled her closer. He gazes through her cold and rather lifeless brown orbs; it looked blank without a soul. He asked her one last time, if anything was wrong, yet she refuses to open up to him. He quickly presses his lips against her, in front of the EXO and Luhan. He gently kisses her, rubbing her back to comfort her, and pulled her closer to his embrace, overwhelming her with his warmth.

“Lee Ji Eun, tell me if something is wrong.”

“Jongin, tell me you’ll never leave me.” She whispers, sobbing.

“I’ll never leave you, Jieun. I’ll never leave you; you’ll always be the only one.”

Those aren’t lies, are they?

***

Luhan was standing outside the balcony, trying to get some fresh air early in the morning. He suddenly felt limb, as if his soul was drained out. He felt tired, even somehow hurt. His heart aches, after seeing their steamy kiss scene, and how Kai managed to comfort her in his embrace. He was envious of him, how he managed to date someone like Lee Ji Eun, yet one thing was crossing his mind. He heard him last night, when Jieun was nowhere to be found, he heard him another woman’s name.

He sighs, trying to calm himself down. He must be insane by now; he was hurt because Jieun was kissing Kai. It wasn’t his right to feel that way, he should’ve accepted it. He didn’t have the right to fall for her or either like her. He should stayed as a mutual friends to her, rather than a fan boy who suddenly fell for her and wanting to date her so badly. He’s sane, he’s not delusional, and he should start to keep it in mind.

“You like her, don’t you?” It was Oh Sehun’s voice.

“Sehun, um… what? Oh, no! No, of course, I’m not!”

“Don’t be ashamed, although she’s Kai’s, but a lot of us actually like her to an extent of loving her. Baekhyun hyung and Suho hyung, too, they like her a lot, that they actually wish to be her boyfriend.” Sehun explained.

“That’s wrong,” Luhan said, “I just liked her as a person, not as a woman.”

“The way you looked at her was different, Luhan. It was… glistening with hope. How do I explained it… it was as if you’ve found your first love.” Sehun explained.

“Do I look that much obvious?” Luhan sighs.

“You need fresh air after seeing them kissing,” Sehun elbowed him; “You’re a crazy fan of her, after all.”

Luhan sighs, it was impossible, how he fell for her. Of course, she liked her for her music, but not to that extent. She had someone else and he knows how much she loves Kai. It was wrong of him, to be jealous of the two. It, too, was wrong of him to have the urge to snatch her away. His heart was seeking for holes, where he could entered and snatches her away, yet inside her innocent self, lies a darker side that have been a mystery to him.

He may have spent too much attention towards her, that he was the first to notice her getting injured. He may have spent too much time thinking about her, that she haunted him in his sweet dreams. He may have spent too much time, trying to approach her that he could smell alcohol in her breaths, and how pale she looked. She had pills with her and Luhan knows that, after staying up all night to watch over her.

“Breakfast is ready!” It was her beautiful, soothing voice that echoed through the whole dorm.

“Time to eat. Come on! You don’t want to miss her delicious dish!” Sehun pulled him inside.

***

She was still doubtful and Kai knows it better than anyone. They all sat down in their small and simple dining table, squashing one another. Jieun was trying hard to avoid Kai, trying to sit next to Byun Baekhyun instead of him, but failed. With one swift movement, he grabs her wrist and pulled her to the seat next to him. She looked pale and tired, rather uncomfortable and feeling unwell. She wasn’t daring enough to look at him in the eye, she keeps avoiding his gaze.

Despite those convincing words, despite the kiss, she was still doubtful. She was very doubtful that her chest started to pound in a painful way. She was unsure of everything, whether this is a nightmare or simply an illusion. She wanted to be naïve, believing it isn’t true yet her belief was not betraying her this time, her belief of the non-existent happily ever after. This could be true, because in real life, there’s no such thing as happiness. Every happiness is a fake moment.

Kai holds her hand, but she flinches and yanks it off her. They eat quietly, despite the commotion the EXO made. Chanyeol who was happily eating, D.O who tried to examine the food, Baekhyun and Suho who keeps arguing over some matter, the EXO-M who keeps talking in Chinese and a quiet Luhan. The blonde baby-faced boy was staring at the couple, who keeps eating quietly without bothering to check on each other. They looked awkward, anxious, and sad.

No one has ever saw Kai that much scared, he was shaking, afraid that she might leave him for good. It was scary, just thinking that she has enough courage to push him away. He wanted to stay by her side, watching her smile, being the only one for her. Everything was fine until last night, yet she decided to bottle it all up, acting all weird.

He slammed the table, surprising everyone, including Jieun, who looked up to meet his gaze. It was darken and somehow sad. Everyone was surprised, shooting daggers to the man who ruined their breakfast time. Morning has become an important time of the day, if one of them had a bad morning, then all of them might end up having a bad day. Suho tried to calm him down, only to be yelled at. He quickly grabbed Jieun wrist and dragged her upstairs.

Luhan could hear the sound of slamming doors; Kai had just slammed it hard, followed by a squeaking Jieun. They were having an argument in Korean; it was loud at first but soon calmed down. Luhan was unable to understand it; they’re using an informal language, something he hasn’t mastered yet. He glances at Sehun, trying to get some answers, but the younger only shook his head, saying it is not his business.

Jieun was thrown to the bed, harshly by Kai. He was yelling at her, angry yet worried. Jieun keeps her lips sealed, not even letting a single word escape her lips. He soon calm down, holding both her hand and gripping it tight. He gently gazes through her lovable brown orbs, whispering some words softly and gently. He kneeled in front of her, convincing her to open up to him.

“Jieun, you’re acting weird. You’re making me worried, you’re scaring me. Please, I beg you, please tell me.” He pleaded.

“Jongin... why are you doing this to me?” Jieun let a tear escaped her eyes.

“What have I done, Jieun? I’ll never do a thing that would hurt you, dear.”

“It hurts… it hurts so much. Tell me Jongin, do you love me?”

“I love you, Jieun. I love you so much. I love you.”

“Do you mean it? Do you truly love me?” She looked up to him, with the glistening light of hope inside her beautiful orbs.

“I do. I do. I love you so much, Jieun. I love you so much. I love you.” He gently gazes through her eyes, pulling her to his embrace.

His eyes was sincere, it was warm and gentle. She was crying silently, tears escaping her beautiful eyes, staining her flawless face. She buried her face under his chest; letting his warmth overwhelmed her cold and lonely heart. He keeps whispering how much he truly loved her to her ear, it sounded like music to her. She grips his shirt tightly, as he gently patted her back. He gently pushes her away, looking at her crying face. He presses his lips against her, gently deepening it.

He pushes her to the bed, with him on top, kissing her gently. She was still crying, her tears staining her flawless face. “I love you, Lee Ji Eun. I’ll always love you and you only.”

This time, she knows it isn’t a lie, is it?