"Delivery for Mr. Wu?"

Lay blinked blankly at the man who stood at the front door, a rather large box in hand.

"Duizhang!" he called, "did you order something?"

"Huh?" Kris mumbled, stumbling over to the door, still half-asleep. "Oh, yeah, I did."

"What is it? It's huge," Lay asked, as Kris signed for the package.

"That's what she said."

"Shut up, Jongdae."

"But seriously," Xiumin asked, staring at the box, "it's really, really big. What the hell did you order?"

Kris ignored them all, merely bringing the box back to his room and promptly going back to bed.

~*~*~*~*~

Three hours later, Kris called Suho, demanding that their other half come over for some sort of important team bonding exercise.

Suho, never being one to turn down a team bonding exercise, immediately shepherded everyone over (he had to bribe them with food, though, and internally sighed at the lack of money that would inhabit his wallet in the near future.)

"Kris?" Suho called, knocking on the door, "we're here!"

The door opened, revealing a grim-faced Luhan, who blocked the entryway, arms crossed.

"I'm warning you, run away while you still can."

"Why?" Suho asked, trying to maneuver his way past Luhan. "What's wrong?"

"Well, I'll give you some hints. It involves the whole group, and a lot of lotion."

"Please don't tell me we're having some kind of wank circle," Kai groaned. "That's disgusting."

Luhan facepalmed.

They were all doomed.

~*~*~*~*~

Five minutes later, everyone sat in a circle in the living room, Kris standing in the middle.

"We have gathered here today to—"

"We're not having a wanking battle, right?" Kai interrupted. "Taemin said he got forced into it once or something and he was never quite the same afterwards."

Kris resisted the urge to vomit, instead swallowing thickly and shaking his head. "That's disgusting. Why would he—you know what, never mind. The point of this is that I have gifts for all of you!"

Everyone cheered, awaiting what Kris was going to give them.

"Here," he said, dragging a box over, "these are all for you.

Inside, there were eleven individually wrapped skincare kits, each labeled with a member's name.

"This is worse than a wank ci