“I am not wearing that. You wear it, you old man.”

Suho sighed, closing his eyes and resisting the urge to smash his head into the nearest wall. “Kris-hyung, you’re older than me, so I don’t think you're in any position to call me an old man—”

“Gramps.”

“…please just be a good sport and wear it. You lost the bet, in any case.”

Suho gestured weakly to the red outfit lying forlornly on the sofa, indicating that Kris should put it on.

“No.”

“Kris-hyung…”

“No.”

Suho grimaced, taking a deep breath to steel himself. “I shouldn’t be telling you this, hyung, but if you don’t wear the damn suit then I’m returning the deluxe skincare kit that I got you.”

Kris’s eyebrow twitched, but he stood firm. “No. I can just ask one of the fans to get it for me.”

“You pompous brat.”

“You love me anyways.”

“No I don’t.”

“Yes you do.”

“Don’t make me call Zitao in.”

And without another word, Kris grabbed the suit and stormed off to the bathroom, screaming, “THIS IS MUTINY!”

~*~*~*~*~

“Oh my God it’s Kris Kringle!”

“Santa Kris, Santa Kris!”

“Merry Krismas!”

“WILL ALL OF YOU JUST SHUT UP?”

Kris threw his Santa sack at the nearest person (Kai), who ducked, and the bag ended up smacking Chanyeol straight in the face.

“Whoa, what was that?” Chanyeol asked, still slightly dazed. “Santa? Is that you?”

“No, you insufferable poodle, it’s Kris.” He pulled off the hat, revealing his blonde hair and angry eyebrows, which contrasted greatly with the fake white beard.

“Well, I knew something was wrong,” Luhan said, “you’re obviously too skinny to be Santa. Baozi—”

“No. Shut up.” Xiumin gave Luhan the finger, who retaliated by throwing a pillow at his head.

“PILLOW FIGHT!” Baekhyun yelled, taking the opportunity to wallop a dazed Sehun in the chest.

As expected, chaos ensued.

~*~*~*~*~

Three hours and six exploded pillows later, Suho finally managed to put a stop to it all.

“Guys, I don’t know if you’ve noticed or not, but you kinda managed to turn the dorm into a feather paradise.”

“Heh,” Chen sniggered, “Kris-hyung, it’s a sign!”

“Of what?” Kris sighed, pursing his lips and glaring at the cackling vocalist.

“You can fly! Just take all the feathers and—DON’T THROW THAT!”

Kris gave one last eyebrow twitch before hoisting his Santa sack back over his shoulder. “You wanna repeat that?”

“No, sir.”

“Now you’re just pushing it.”

“No killing on Christmas, please,” D.O begged, giving each of them pointed glances. “Any other day I’d be moderately more okay with it, but just not today. Can we just open the presents and be a nice, happy, supremely dysfunctional family?”

“Whatever umma wants,” Kai agreed.

“Don’t call me umma.”

“The unicorn one is mine, right?” Lay asked, reaching for a present that had fallen out of Kris’s sack.

“Actually… me and Kyungsoo wrapped them all with the same wrapping paper,” Suho said slowly, wary of Lay’s reaction. “Hey, don’t look at me like that, we’re on a very limited budget here!”

“The unicorn one was on sale,” D.O meekly added from his spot behind Kai.

Luhan took the gift from Lay and turned it over in his hands a few times, trying to find a label, only to come up blank. “You guys forgot to label them!”

“Dammit,” D.O sighed, “I knew we forgot something.”

“So I guess it’s a free for all, then?” Chanyeol asked.

“I guess so. Kris-hyung, hand out the gifts.”

Kris, in an extremely un-Santa-like move, decided that it would be fun to channel his inner basketball player and throw the presents to everyone (and Suho hoped that the others hadn’t bought any fragile gifts, since the rest of the members seemed to have little to no catching prowess.)

Eventually, everyone ended up with a gift, and Kris plopped down, a wrapped item in his lap as