I took the mineral water that I buy earlier and give to him. No wonder why I want to buy two. It’s because I will meet special person here. He grabbed the bottle from me and murmured word thanks to me.

“Thank you. Hyung~ did you always come here?”

He opens the bottle cap and starts to drink.

“Yup. But if I have time only. And you?”

“Ne~ nado.”

There are long pauses between us before Changmin start to break the silent.

“Hyung~ you still remember right our first time come here? The beautiful scenery that greeted us that time?”

It will be lie if I said I had forgot about it. it’s me who show him to this place.

“Of course I remember that time. I the one who bring you here. How come I forgot it?”

I said as I laugh. He later joins the laugh section too.

“And later we back with the scolded leader to us. aish~ Yunho hyung just overprotective towards us.”

“Like you don’t know him”

Both of us laugh as we remember back the incident. How I miss that time. I just smile lightly. I could see from the corner of my eyes that he tries to hold his tears. Silent hitting us once again. It’s not kind of awkward atmosphere but yeh~ the feeling a little bit different. Guess you can know it right???

 

“Did you... erm... happen…hate… me?? no, not me... us??”

It’s just slipped from my mouth when I ask this. Aish~ why I ask this question. Stupid me, stupid. We just meet and I already blurted out this question. What I got is just silent. Again. I looked at him and see his head was looking down. It’s there any interesting at there??? I can saw that his tears fall down once again. I go near him and soothing his back.

“Mianhae. I know I shouldn’t ask that. Let’s change our topic ne~”

He just shook his head. After he regains his composure, he starts talking.

“Hurm~ I was ashamed hyung. –chuckled- why I need to show you my weaker side?”

This is actually the second time that I saw his weaker side. The first one when we receive our award and now this. But this time, it’s too much weaker.

“I was mad at myself hyung. And I realize that I just make a mistake. –chuckled- I admit, that time I was hate all of you. Yeh~ I admit it. I feel betrayed hyung. My own brothers just neglect me. I was thinking did all of you really not consider me as your own brother? Why, you need to do it. Before this we have been through thick and thin together, we can face it but why. Why this time?? Why you need to do it??”

I just listened open hearing the confession from my maknae. I was left speechless while my eyes start to feel hot. But I know what he said was true. What you feel when someone you loved, leave you behind, what you feel?? Betrayed right?? I just let my maknae continue his speech.

“You know hyung, the mistake that I made is to hate all of you. I shouldn’t and never let it crossed in my mind that I hate all of you. You’re my brother hyung. Why I need to hate my own brother. Why?? Can you give me reason why I need to hate all of you?? Can you??”

He broke out once again. I totally speechless with what he said. After I can gain my composure back,

“You said you hate us because we left you. I don’t think that was wrong at all. Because I think it’s worthy for you... –pause- to feel like that towards us.”

I said with my shaky voice as I gazed my eyes towards anything else. Trying to distract my emotions and to never let my tears falling once again.

“You know hyung~ the hate that I held before already gone. And I know it’s not hate that I was held that time but instead it was the feeling where I miss all of you. I feel sorry hyung that time. Time when I said those word. After I realized what I said, I… I... am feeling guilty.”

Once again I was left speechless, not knowing what to respond. Did my maknae really this fragile?? As I know, he is the strongest among us. He never shows his feelings towards us either the affection but all of us know that he really care about us. Just he never shows it. I make his head lean towards me. I play with his hair. After I make him like that, I can sense that he feel a bit calm.

“Don’t say like that. You shouldn’t feel guilty. The one that should feel that is me. If I not make this mistake, maybe all of us still together. Maybe this thing and all the misunderstand between us not happen.”

“No hyung~ you make a right choice. Didn’t at that time all of us already agree that all of us will do this together. But...”

“I know. That time all of us want to do together. But after we think it back, the consequence that all of us will get only me, Yoochun and Jaejoong hyung still not budging from our decision. Yunho hyung then say that he will stay to protect our name and you follow his decision. But as far I think, at that time we not even argue to each other. All of us accept it right??? But why, why, all this misunderstand happen. I… I... not understand it.”

Finally I broke to tears once again. I can feel that a warm hand wrapped around me.

“Hyung~ don’t cry. I sometimes wonder too why this misunderstood happen to us. It’s not like we do not know the truth. But hyung, its true what people said. We will easily be deceived just hearing the false rumor about something even though we know the truth. –silent- We can’t help it hyung. Its make me feel guilty once again hyung. Why I was so stupid to believe what they said!!! WAE!!!”

I was startled for a while when he screams like that. It’s so lucky at this hour not too many people come. I crying again as I see my maknae be this fragile. I soothed his back and say comforting word to him.

“Kwenchana Min. at least, you not hold you grudge against us anymore. I’m very sure, they will be happy hearing this. Most of the time, all of us was lived in fear. Fear because both of you will hate us. we just... can’t imagine it. we are worried and afraid to think about it.”

“The grudge that we held is for a while only hyung. Now not anymore. it’s already been turned to change into missed all of you hyung.”

He said with his teary eyes. I wiped his face with my hand. I smile to him to ensure that already been fine...  at least for now. 

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a few more chapters will continue tomorrow n it will ending ^_^ <3 comments were appreciated.. ^__^