As I open my eyes, I catch a glimpse of someone. He looks familiar to me. indeed.

‘No, no. it can’t be. He will never be here. It’s my illusion only. Yes, illusion.’

I shook my head a few times.  But what if it’s was true. Don’t I want to see him again? My heart say yes it’s him, but somewhere it’s say not. When I look back at the direction where he headed before, he already gone. I quickly get up from my seat and start to search him. Did my eyes really play trick with me??? I have searched him everywhere I can but indeed I not found the trace from him. did I miss him too much?? It’s wrong???? The chance for me to see him look like impossible.

 

I turn back and headed to the bench. The bench that bring memories to me. place where I like to stay after I have done jogging. I sat at there and enjoy the view while enjoying the fresh air. I open my wallet and look at our picture of 5 members. I close my eyes and the memories flooding back in my mind. I don’t want to lose my precious memory. I don’t want. I look at my watch and it’s already 4.55 a.m. I need to go back to my house and take a rest. As I was get up from there, I was stunned seen someone looking at me directly.

‘That’s him’

Finally I seen him after a few years we have been apart. I want to hug him, punch him, and with his food and all but what I could do know is I just frozen at my place. Not even bugging for a while. We just staring each other, rather you said with disbelief eyes. If passerby looks at this, they will think that we do some staring contents. I look at Changmin eyes. His eyes indicated that…. Urgh~ I don’t know how to describe it. It’s full with hatred?? Miserable?? Sorrow??? Happiness??? Sad??? Anger?? I just don’t know.

Something was flash at my mind. I decide that I should just go away from here. Because I know maybe he hates seeing me. I remember the interview that they had when they with their new album, Keep Your Head Down. The way he talk about us make my heart sink.

‘Did you want to say anything to others?’

‘No’

Its make my heart broken to piece. I don’t know if he really mean about it or not but I just got feeling that he already change. Before I want to walk away, I can feel someone was hugging me.

“Hyung~ I miss you.”

I was startled for a while. I couldn’t open my mouth to say anything to him since I want to try to adapt with what had happen to me. did my maknae just hug me?? did he??? I snapped into reality after I heard he was sobbing. I hug him back and soothing his back.

“I miss you too.”

 I couldn’t control my tears anymore. It’s was tears of happiness at all. Thanks lord, you granted my wish to see him again. But only if my leader here, maybe it’s will be great. No, if all of us gathered here and have hugged like before, it’s will beyond the perfection.

“You know, I was shocked when you call me hyung. I was happy that it’s was come out from your mouth.”

I try to lighten the mood between us with my shaking voice. He just chuckled when heard that. He pulled away from the hug and slightly punches my chest.

“You are bad, Junsu~”

Both of us laugh together. We sat at bench and seeing the view, again. But today it’s different. I watch it with someone that really precious. My long lost brother that I not see him for almost two years. both of us just fallen into silent.

 

“Erm~ Min. can I ask your question?”

I decide to broken this long silence. Didn’t that we not see each other for a long time. What with this long silence??? I hate it!!!

“Of course.”

Still looking at view, he just answers me without looking at me. well, I understand why.

“So how Yunho hyung?”

“He good.”

Only short answered I get from him but I know he just lies.

“Jinjja good?? Wah~ glad that he good.”

I try my best to show my cheerful side even though I know it’s just a fake one.

“Look Min. The sun will come soon. I think we can get to see the sun rise here even though we are not in mountain or sea to see it. Wah~ I totally want to watch it.”

I show him the direction where both of us can watch it. He just looks at me with no expression.

“Err~ did I said something wrong???”

Actually I feel uneasy with the way he look me. I turned my gaze to something else.

“Hyung~ I sense something wrong with you. This is not like you. You have changed.”

I stunned when he say that. I changed?? Maybe~ maybe after all of this happen.

“Aniyo~ I not changed. I still same. See. Tsk~ you are the one have changed you know. You have turned manly now.”

I say while pat his head. He just chuckled when I do like that. Usually if I do like that he will angry but not today. I start to mess with his hair just in case to look whether he is the real Changmin or not. XD.

“Yah!! Junsu!! Don’t mess with my hair. Aish~”

Finally he really my Changmin. Hehe. I just laugh when see his hair mess like that while he trying to fix back his hair.

“You are not manly now and please call me hyung. Eu kyang Kyang.”

He stop fix his hair and start laugh. Another moment that I need to cherish when still with him.

 

“Hyung~ you look skinny. Wae??? Did umma not cook you anything??”

“Haha aniyo~ umma take care of me really well. Don’t worry.”

“Hyung, did you know which umma that I talk about?”

“Of course I know. You ask about Jae hyung right?  

“Wah~hyung, I don’t know that you know what I mean haha.”

 He said with amusement face. Aish~ this maknae really know how to tease me.

“Tsk~ did you think I not know about it? You totally wrong if you think like that.”

“But hyung seriously, you look skinny. Jae hyung not cook for you??”

He said with the concern look. I just smile wryly.

“Aniyo~ I eat. Well, all of us were busy with our own scheduled. Jaejoong hyung and Yoochun busy with their drama while me in musical. We rarely see each other, but whenever we see, Jae hyung will cook for us. By the way, look at yourself. You too look skinny not only me. Did they torture you??”

I examine Changmin body. Indeed he was much skinny than the last time I see him but a bit muscular. He just smiles weakly.

“Well hyung~ maybe I not eat much. I miss Jaejoong hyung cooking. I kind of fed up to eat fast food. I rather prefer Jaejoong hyung cooking than wasting money to that kind of food. Furthermore, it’s not too healthy. –sigh- I miss him.”

I can guess he hiding something from me and I know it. It’s still same even though we already sue them. tsk~ screws that company.

“Did you miss him or his cooking?”

I tease my maknae while look at him.

“Both but more to his cooking. Haha.”

“I know it. haha”