From: Face

Meeting at JJ's place NOW, I got

something to discuss with you.

- Oh, and be QUIET, Jae's sleeping

and we don't want the Demon to wake

up from her sleep.

 

I ignored the text, I really didn't want to hear whatever he wanted to talk about. He probably wanted to brag about the relationship with Jae, urgh, a thing I didn't want to hear about.

But why am I even bothered about their relationship? They do make a great couple, looking picture perfect together. But it feels like Jae is drifting away from me, like Kris is taking her away from me. Maybe I'm just paranoid, but she's my best friend after all. But her moving away is something I fear, she almost moved away due to her grandmother's wish about marriage. After that she promised she would never go away and stay here forever. D'OH, she's the glue that hold us derps together.

JAE, JUST DON'T BE WITH KRIS!!

. . .

. . .

I'm not in love with her, or anything like that. ... Right? I need to get my head straight! I just love they way she smiles, they way she smells, they way she always makes me smile when I'm having a hard time. I love everything about her. But .. I really hated it when she were dating this Jaejoong guy, and the other times she dated. They were not good enough for her, they didn't make her smile and laugh like I did!

.

I'm in love with my best friend.

Why didn't I notice the signs earlier?! It was pretty obvious. .... I'm an idiot.

HOW THE DO I TO ACT NORMAL AROUND HER NOW?!

 

I was so nervous the next day in school, how should I act? How should I talk? WHAT SHOULD I DO, WHEN THE ICE COUPLE WERE MAKING OUT!! Urgh, this was hard and not good for my heart, it shrank every time I saw Jae smiling at Kris.

"Yah, close your mouth, it's not like the first time you see them make out and buy your hyung some steamed buns!"

I forced my eyes away and got to the food section and looked grabbed a couple of steamed buns. I snapped out of my daze and realized what I was doing. Damn you, Xiumin, for taking advantage of me! I smashed the steam buns in his face and sat down angrily.

"UF! But thank you, my lovely dongsaeng~"

"I hate you!"

"Aish, who peed on your crack? That reminds me! We are throwing a party for Jae this Saturday!"

I rolled my eyes on the crack-joke, why can't they understand the world is a much brighter place when you're happy!, but turned my head to a bun eat steamed buns and tilted my head.

"When and where?"

"At Kris' place-"

"Then count me out." I rejected bluntly, after hearing it's place. Even it were a party for Jae, I would not like to imaging what they could have done in his apartment.

"But it's Jae's-"

"Hyung, I said no."

I took my bag and walked off, feeling pissed and hurt. It's hurts just to see them being all lovey-dovey in school, why would I spend my free time with both of them! One on one I could handle ... I could only handle to spend time with Jae. Crap, I really tried hard not to be jealous!

Guess it was best for my heart to avoid them.

 

The days flew by and it was already Saturday, the party started already.

Me? I was laying in my bed and looking at the picture of Jae and me from last summer. A picture that had a permanent place on my nightstand. I sighed and rolled over. They guys must have plenty of fun. Without me. Because I was a and ditched them. I FAIL AT LIFE AND FRIENDSHIP!!

I almost fell off my bed in shock, when a much familiar melody rang. A melody I composed together with Jae and her ringtone. I grabbed the phone and slide it over to take the call. "Yoboseyo!"

"He picks up and then you snatches my phone away, what the hell! Give it back, before I shove one of the bottles up your !"

I chuckled. Jae had clearly got something to drink. But then again she would do that even if she were sober..

"Jae?"

"- pabo! Oh hi Yeollie~!"

"Well, you called me and now I'm waiting for the reason."

".... That's right! I forget, a baby faced demon stole my phone. Aish, sometimes I can't believe he's older than me! Earlier he-"

"Jae~, to the point?" I chuckled. She talked like a waterfall when she got alcohol in her system, mostly trailing off topic.

"Park Chanyeol, get your lonely over here!"

"To your information, I am not lonely-"

"YAH! Kris, stop that, it tickles!"

My smile disappeared after hearing that. That were the reason why I didn't want to come.

"Jae, I think you should just concentrate on your boyfriend Kris."

I hung up before she could answer and turned off my phone. Urgh, my heart hurts so much, so much that you can't imagine Jae. You stab me with millions of knives every time I see you with Kris.

I played my favourite song of the moment and closed my eyes, trying to sleep the pain away.

 

I have everything but the girl I want, it's sad but true
and everything but the love I need to make it through
and everytime I look into your eyes, that's when I realize
just how much I love you

I don't know how long I can keep it up
I need a sign to make it through
You gotta tell me now, you gotta let me know
so what am I, what am I to do

 

(Darin Zanyar - Everything But the Girl)

 

"Pabo son, get up!"

I growled as an answer and turned around, ignoring my umma for waking my up from my sleep.

"Aish. Sweetheart Jae left because you were sleeping loudly, and it's 5 PM in the afternoon! Aigoo, what did she even see in my pabo of a son, loving you like crazy-"

I shot out of my bed and grabbed my umma tight around the wrist. "What did you say?!"

"YAH, DON'T YELL AT YOUR UMMA!"

"Mianhae, but what did you say about Jae?!"

"That she loved you? That was easy too see, too bad she's leaving for Canada today. Would have been nice to have as a daughter-in-law-"

"LEAVING FOR CANADA?!"

"STOP YELLING AT ME!"

"MIANHAE!"

"Aish! She even left a letter on your nightstand and kissed your forehead, but you were too sound asleep to wake up!"

"When was that?!"

"Two maybe three hours ago, I can't remember-"

"WHY DIDN'T YOU WAKE ME UP?!"

"STOP YELLING!"

"MIANHAE UMMA!"

"AISH!! She told me not to wake you up, something about it would better this way. Now go open your letter, she told me it was very important he read it."

I walked back into my room and found a envelope on nightstand addressed to My dear Chanyeol. I was in shock to hear she left for Canada, without telling me. .. Maybe that was the purpose of last night party, to send her off? I was trembling so much, that I could hardly open the envelope and get the letter out.

 

Dear Chanyeol,

when you are reading this I'm a plane to Canada. I got pregnant and running away, I don't know who the father is, but I'm sure I can bring the child up by myself.

 

I stared in utterly shock at the content. SHE WERE PREGNANT?!

 

Just kidding. I'm not pregnant nor am I running away, I'm going to live with my family in Canada and I'm not sure if we will see each other ever again.

But Chanyeol, I love you and only you. I pretended to date Kris so I could get rid of this freaking stalking - to your information, he had stalked me for a half year! - and he finally let me alone. Well, things got a little out of hand with kissing.... Let's skip the awkward about that, the point is that I love you. I'm pretty sure you are too dense to notice my feelings, so that's why I'm telling you in this letter. As it stood above, it's not sure if we will meet again, so I'm telling your my true feelings. It's lot easier writing it down on a paper, than telling it to your face.

I've loved you for a long time and I didn't want to ruin our friendship for a one-sided love. You always made my day better, making my tears turn into smiles. You bring colour to my life, making the sour turn sweet. I find your derpness adorable, even your creepy ayego. Your voice is way too deep to go well with ayego, it's just creepy. Speaking of voices, I really loved how you would mumble sweet things to me, making my heart flutter away.

I'm sorry for pushing you away lately, it were easier for me to leave you. It hurt my heart and it hurt even more to see your sad expression. I'm sorry, Chanyeol. I'm sorry for never loving you freely and claiming you as mine, it would have left some beautiful memories, but I was too much of a coward to show you my feelings.

As you know my younger brother, Ren, have always had a weak heart and it's gotten worse lately, that's also the reason why I've been stressed out. Kris found me crying and I blurted it all out at once. Please don't blame him for persuading me to go to Canada, even he can't see me when he's visiting he's family in Canada.

Why, you may think? I will tell you; Even through I love you and my heart belongs to you, it will technically soon belong to my brother and I will be hooked onto machines until a suitable heart can be transferred to my body. Ren's blood type is rare and the previous donors have all been rejected by his body. I have before donated some of my lever to him and it got accepted. I have another blood type, that matches most people in the world, it would much easier to find a new heart for me.

That's why there is a fair chance for us not meeting again.

I love you, Park Chanyeol, please remember that forever.

 

- Jae

 

 

Why? Why tell me you love me, just to leave me alone? Why? I love you too! Don't leave me!

The tears were streaming down, but stared empty into space until a familiar frame showed up.

"HYUNG!" I cried, breaking down completely after seeing the sorrow on his face.

"Mianhae, Yeollie."

"Hyung, why! WHY IS SHE LEAVING ME!!"

Gentle fingers patted me back, trying to calm me down and to let me know it's okay to cry.

I cried so hard, sobbing and totally ruining my hyung's shirt.

"Kree-kreeeeaa-ase, wh-wh-why," I hiccoughed.

He only pulled me closer and I cried even harder. JAE, YOU CAN'T CONFESS YOUR LOVE TO ME AND LEAVE ME WITHOUT ME SAYING I LOVE YOU TOO!!