Luhan's POV

Even when I’m on my bed, I couldn’t sleep. How could I possibly be sleeping after spying on Sehun with Chen and Kai?

*Flashback*

“And we’re here..Welcome to ChinWei’s home. Across the road is Baekhyun’s." Chen shows us a small one storey house through a window.

"I already planted microphone devices at his house. But so far, there’s not much information I gather. Baekhyun definitely knows nothing about Sehun’s activity. However, this morning, Sehun asks his permission to go somewhere, tonight after 10pm. Let’s wait here until he gets out of the house.” Chen speaks again as Kai and I nodded. 

It was precisely when the short needle on the clock pointed at 10pm, Sehun’s figure can be seen on the road. His walking pace was slow at first, but later becomes quicker the farther he got away from Baekhyun’s house. We followed him.

I secretly hoping he didn’t went to meet the gang. But my prayer was rejected. There he was, standing in front of the same pub I worked before. He went inside.

When Chen was about to follow him, I pulled him drastically. “I used to work in there, there’s no way they won’t recognized my face.”

“Don’t worry. I have something that might help you.” Chen took out a brunette wig from his bag and put them on my head. He gives me lipstick for me to put them on while he colors my eyelids. What does the girls usually calls that? Ah.. eye shadow.

“You look different, way much better looking than him as a girl.” It was a small compliment Kai gives to me while condemning Chen’s girl appearance at the same time.

“Whatever Kai. If Luhan and I didn’t come out from the pub after an hour; please save us.” Chen pulls my arm, linking them on his arm after instructed Kai. “For an hour, your name is Lulu, my girlfriend.” 

“Okay, got it.” I tried my best to hide my nervousness.

We entered the pub. There was nothing much change after I left. Everyone who works there doesn’t change either.

Mr. Kim, the head of the pub greeted us. I’m guessing Chen is already regular customer. “Chen! Nice girl with bad makeup you got there!”

“What could you say? We’re always doing things in hurry.” Those people in the pub who were listening to Chen, laughs.

I don’t want to know what it actually means. s always cheer them. Chen blends in really well with those dirty people. I smiles at them, trying my best to act like a cute girl who belongs to Chen.

We made our way near Sehun’s table. He was sitting there alone before the five men came accompany him.

“It’s from Shrikethrush.” They handed Sehun an olive-color envelope. “He wanted us to put the mission in hiatus. Things has been really weird. Since he killed Taipan, all business in this organization is working separately. No one knows if he monitored us. But one thing for sure, no one is brave enough to reject his orders.”

Sehun stays silent, while scanning through the content of the envelope.

“Shrikethrush?” I ask Chen, wondering who the hell are they talking about.

Chen didn’t say a word, his face seems like he saw a ghost. He grabbed my shoulder and forcing me to exit the pub.

Kai rushed to us. “That’s quick. Did you get anything?”

“Kai. I missed out the most important information.” Chen, who was calm before entering the pub, is now nervous as hell.

“What is it?” Kai insists. 

“Luhan, what’s the gang's leader name that you’re dealing with?” Chen suddenly turns the conversation towards me.

“I don’t know, but he called himself Taipan.”

Kai's eyes widen.

“Why? What’s wrong?” I ask them again.

“That’s a big piece that I missed out. I’ve been tracking your gang with the leader named Shrikethrush. I didn’t know he replaced Taipan.” Chen's nervousness started to disapear.

Kai leans himself on the wall, staring blankly at the sky.

“Kai, are you okay?” I am confused with everyone’s reaction. He didn't replied to my worriedness.  

Chen and Kai stays silent as they sent me back to the apartment.

When the lift opened, as we entered, Kai suddenly speak indistinctly at me. “If I told you this, don’t tell Yixing you heard this from me. Would you promise me that?”

Now, it was Chen's eyes that got widen. He was trying to stop Kai from telling me.

“I believe he needs to know. And I trust him.” Chen glares at Kai but later he decided to abandon his disagreement after Kai insists.

“The gang that hurt you is the same gang associated with The Mashi Cooperation. The company is under them. But that was during Taipan. I know nothing now if that contract is still applicable. People in that gang love to keep everything a secret for protection purposes. I am no longer in the gang but I know some people around me who still are.”

I was surprised. But does that mean Sooyoung knows the gang? I'm too confused. “Are you saying that Sooyoung is actually on the same side of the gang?”

“No she’s not. She’s actually against it but ever since Taipan’s death, no news was heard. So she abandons her plan. But with this important information, the people who came at Sooyoung’s apartment looking for you didn’t get orders from Taipan but from Shrikethrush. Luhan, in my point of view, if members in the gang knew about you, they might use you to allure Shrikethrush to them.”

“I don’t understand.”

“I’m really not good at explaining. But you need to trust me. I used to be one of them but Kris helped me to get out of it. Taipan that you know is dead, killed by someone by poisoning. Only little people know his name. The new leader didn’t show himself and the organization has been in a mess these few months. But orders have been given through something specifically for certain person. More members have been killed through poisoning for not following his orders. But you, he orders the five guys to find and bring you back to the gang. If it’s easy for him to poison people, there’s must be something you had that makes him want you alive.”

My jaw dropped. There’s too many new information that I need to digest.

“Chen, promise me you will not report that to Yixing. I don’t want Luhan to face the same experience as I did.” Kai turned his face towards Chen, ensuring the secret is safe between the three of us.

“Alright. I promise.” Chen finally nods.

“Why can’t he report that to Yixing? Are you telling me, the lawyer is one of the gang?” I got curious. 

“He’s not. But he’s the one who made the Mashi Cooperation contract with the gang. So, I couldn’t assure your safety around him either.”

The lift door is open and I walk out slowly, still couldn’t believe what I have just heard.

Chen holds the lift’s button, preventing the door from closing. “I don’t want to scare you, but I think staying with Sooyoung might be a big mistake.” He releases the button and the lift’s door started to close. 

I ran to the lift, hold the door from closing. “If you’re talking about my safety, it’s never a big mistake. Whatever happens, I will definitely not leave her until she says so.”

*End of Flashback* 

I glance at the clock on the shelf. It’s already half an hour I’m lying on my bed, unable to get to sleep. I’m still in confused.

Why would Shrikethrush want me? And most importantly, since when did I care less about Sehun? My old self will pull him to stay beside me all the time. But now, I felt like it is enough to see him at work. Sehun is talking with the gang in front of my eyes.. Instead of grabbing Sehun to stay out of it, I let Chen pulled me out of the bar. I even agree to let Sehun to be with the gang a little longer to monitor the gang’s activity. What have gotten in to me?

I got up, thinking that I might be able to find something as a tool for me to sleep, like reading boring materials. I walk out from my bedroom wandering around the apartment.

Sooyoung is still there, on the couch. The blank look she gives me, obviously surprise at my presence.

“I can’t sleep.” I quickly told her. 

She literally went ‘ohh’ before telling me she’s too.

I sat next to her, wondering what makes her stay awake. “Don’t you have work tomorrow?”

“Yes, but I guess I’ll be going late. It should be fine, tomorrow is weekend.”

I smiled. I remembered clearly she once told me, she always needs to go to work. No matter what day it is.

“Luhan, may I ask you something? Something that...is a little sensitive”

“Sure”

“When you decided to kill yourself, did you made any preparation or deep thinking before doing so?”

I got shock with the sudden question on my suicide attempt. How long has it been? I find myself too comfort living with her; I almost forgot I once tried to end my life.

“I didn’t. I was too emotional when I couldn’t find Sehun. I made the decision right away. Most of the time, I thought I’ll be killed by the gang. But that didn’t happened. When I finally felt tired of living like that, I decided to end it myself.” 

She notices how uneasy that question made me. She apologizes right away.

“Why did you suddenly brought this up? Do you have something you want to share?” I directly ask her.

Her lips form a smile. “You are so different with that guy. He will always use the word ‘tell’. I always felt like it was some kind of force or something that I must told him to. Thanks. ‘Share’ is a very good word.”

She pauses, took a deep breath while staring at the ceiling. “You know, in anything I do, I will always make sure I am in one step ahead.”

“Well, you are the leader of your company. What do I expect?”

She chuckles upon hearing me, but her face turns sorrow quickly afterwards. “Luhan, what if I told you, on the day I met you, you are not the only one who is trying to suicide?”

I am relieved. Finally she wants to talk about it. I’ve been thinking about it since the first day she let me into her house. “I know. That day, there was a serious gas leakage on your apartment. But when you told me you are going to stop the source, I was surprised watching you went to your bedroom. The next day when the gang came, you didn’t seem to care if they killed you right away.”

“You knew? Why didn’t you say anything?”

“Because it was just an assumption. And like you said, it is a sensitive matter. I thought it’ll be better to keep it to myself.”

There was a long pause again, before I continue. “Did perhaps our meeting made you change your mind?”

“Yes. About the suicide attempt, that is actually not the first time, it was my second. I jumped into river before, but someone saved me from drowning. I didn’t know who that person was, but the person left me lying at the riverbank with a coat and a note.”

“A note?” I emphasized on my curiousity.

“I throw the note into the river. At that time,the note is more like a joke to me. But when I saw you that night, I thought about the note again and decided to extend the plan of killing myself.”

“What did the note say?”

“Remember the proverb about the wheel? The person wrote that and added ‘if the wheel stops and you are stuck at the bottom, at least do good to other people, good enough to recover the missing of your absence in the world.”

“Why would that affect you when you saw me?”

“It affects a lot..”

I stare at her in the eye. There is definitely something going on in her head, something that she planned something on me, something she wants to do with me before she dies?

“The company.. it was my parents. My father was the Chairman. I was supposed to be the CEO but I turned down that offer to help Minseok with his clinic. So the position was given to Kris, who is way too capable to handle that job. But he was young. Too young that the shareholders don’t trust him despite all the work he has done. My father insists to have him and that’s how Kris ended on that position.”

I frown, as I have no idea why did she suddenly talk about the company. I keep my mouth shut, still listening to her story.

“When my parents died, automatically I am the new Chairman. But less people know, I hate that company. I hate that company so bad ever since I was a kid. I prayed everyday hoping that my father will quit the company and live with us like a normal family. But it turns out; the prayer was granted by taking him out of this world. And worse, my mom was brought along with him too. I couldn’t cry on their grave. It was my prayer that made them left.”

I saw her tears flows down through her cheek. My eyes started to get blurry and I realized my tears are overflowing too. I could actually relate myself to Sooyoung’s pain. I prayed for nothing to happen on Sehun before. But compared to her, I am luckier. The prayer did actually got answered; Sehun is still alive eventhough he is in the gang.

“If I die, perhaps I will be together with my family in heaven. But before doing so, I decided to go to work. Just to give a deep look at the company before I left. On the first day, I realized my father has involved in many dirty jobs. I wanted to clean them up for him. So I went to work every day to clear his name. I wanted to give Kris the company. I couldn’t see anyone better than him. But when I told Yixing about it, he told me my wish might not be fullfilled. The shareholders don’t favor Kris at all. The best way is to married him and makes him a part of my family, and then I can leave the company.”

My tears had dried up. Her story turns serious and truthfully, I was shocked hearing about the marriage plan. “Are you going to marry him? Does Kris agree with it?”

“He didn’t know that yet. But the idea of marrying him is something that I thought need a lot of thinking.” She chuckles again. “I have some kind of issues with Kris’s personality.”

She took a long breath before continues again. “When I saw you that night, I thought that if I couldn’t give the company to the person I wanted, at least I must be able to give the other things I have to a person who needs it the most. Just like the note said, Do good to other people, good enough to recover the missing of your absence in the world.”

“Are you telling me, you are planning to give your apartment to me?”

“At that time, yes. That’s why I’ve been joking with you about being my husband around neighbors. But as I keep on going to work, I realize Kris personality isn’t that bad as I remembered. So the marriage plan might work. However, I will not allowed love to involve in it. The plan was to marry him, made the shareholders listen to him, divorce him and I leave the company.”

She hugged the yellow pillow tightly, while sinking her chin on it. “But I realized that I can’t marry him.”

I nodded. It’s actually not that easy to plan something involving marriage, especially when you don’t even like each other. Just then, it struck me. Does that mean, she’s going to proceed with the plan on the day she met me?

“Sooyoung… you..” Before I could even finishes, she told me with her left hand pressing hard on her chest.

“Today he told me he likes me. I can’t marry him if he likes me. It’s too cruel to divorce and leave him later.”

Tears start to form again, while her hand still pressing her heart area. The way she's acting right now, I'm definitely sure the pain that she felt must be Kris's confession. Kris must have appeared to be someone more special than he used to be in her eyes. Despite the tough character Sooyoung shows to everyone, she unexpectedly quite an easy person for others to steal her heart.

She took another deep breath. “That’s why Luhan, I need you to help me.”

“Help you in what way?” I asked her curiously.

“I wanted to proceed with my plan to give all I have to you. But like I said before, no love involve. I trust you that you will live happily, while protecting my possessions from any bad or wrongdoings.”

Before she continues, I could actually predict the next sentence she would say. “I know how crazy this might have sound to you, but.. would you marry me for real, Luhan?” 

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Authors note: Thank you for those who upvoting this fanfic (SY-JaeHa, pykaSY1310, Cororo, lov3s_ang31_19, mentrachan, jilngel89 and sooswifty). I got worried with the plot and especially my writing. Thank you so much for reading~

I realized the story has gotten too complicated, so I decided to reveal some of truths about Sooyoung.. hehe~