Jonghun ran quickly in the hospital’s corridor. His face was worried.

He just finished his class. He just wanted to go to Chae Rim’s room. Just it.

“Eomma, where is she? Is she okay?” asked Jonghun to his mom who was worried too. She stood up from her seat. Then she saw her son.

“Where were you going last night? Why did you take her along?” said Jonghun’s mom. She was really mad at him. Jonghun looked down. He was too afraid to see his mom’s face. Jonghun’s dad pulled his mom away.

“Please calm down,” said Jonghun’s dad. His mom was really worried. Even she was crying cuz of it.

“I-I thought she needs to go out. She will feel bored, if..”

“Just stop it! I don’t want to hear any reason, okay?!” shouted his mom. Then she sat at her seat. Jonghun walked to the door where Chae Rim slept. Yes, ICU.

Chae Rim’s condition was getting worse. So that she must in ICU. She was unconscious.

Jonghun felt terrible. Because of him, Chae Rim must losted her conscious. Because of him, Chae Rim must sleep in ICU. It was all because of him.

“You must wake up! You must wake up, Chae Rim-ah”

###

The day passed..

Chae Rim’s condition was getting worse. All people were worried about her condition. The doctor said, if she didn’t wake up from her sleep, she might be sleeping forever and leaving them.

But why? Why the doctor told the truth that made all people was full of worried.

Jonghun couldn’t stop to praying. He hoped that Chae Rim will wake up. He wanted to live with his wife. Forget about the sickness and live happily.

But it was impossible for him and Chae Rim.

“Doctor! Doctor! Chae Rim wakes up!” shouted one of the nuns who were taking care of Chae Rim in the ICU. Jonghun, Jonghun’s mom and also Jonghun’s dad were surprised to hear that. They stood up from their seat. And saw Chae Rim from the window.

Chae Rim was silent. But her eyes opened. Some nuns was taking care of her. A nun talked to Chae Rim, asking about her condition. But Chae Rim didn’t reply any question. She turned her head and saw Jonghun from the window.

“Hi, honey. Mom is in here!” said Jonghun’s mom. She felt really happy to see Chae Rim. Chae Rim tried to smile at them. Jonghun’s mom waved her hand slowly. She just wanted to make Chae Rim sure that they were in there just for Chae Rim.

Jonghun’s mom didn’t stop to crying. Even Jonghun’s dad was crying too. Don’t ask Jonghun. He was the one who was really happy. He held all of the tears. He didn’t want if Chae Rim watching his crying. He tried to smile at Chae Rim.

Chae Rim talked to one of the nun. All people who were in the outside didn’t know what they were talking about. Then the nun just nodded slowly. She went out from the the room.

“Jonghun, she wants to meet you. Before you go there, please use all of these. And make yourself clean,” said the nun while giving Jonghun with glove and masker.

Jonghun went to the restroom and cleaned his hands. Then he wore all of these.

He went out from the restroom and entered the ICU.

“Hi, how are you?” said Jonghun to Chae Rim who looked so weak. Her face was so pale. Her lip was so dry. Even it was really hard to smile. She just nodded slowly.

Jonghun’s eyes were watery. Then he was crying. She was surprised to see Jonghun crying. She was silent. She grabbed Jonghun’s hand.

“I’m ok, really. Just don’t worry about me,” said Chae Rim then she smiled widely. Jonghun wiped his tears. He tried to smile.

“I-I’m sorry,” added Jonghun. Chae Rim shook her head slowly. She wanted to make Jonghun sure that it wasn’t his fault. But Jonghun still felt sorry.

###

Jonghun spent his night with Chae Rim in the ICU. He just wanted to see Chae Rim’s condition. He just didn’t want if Chae Rim left him.

The morning came.

Chae Rim fell asleep. She said that she was so tired and need to sleep. At first, Jonghun forbid her to sleep. Cuz he was so afraid if Chae Rim slept forever and left him.

But he just tried to forget that. He knew that Chae Rim was sick and she needed to sleep more.

“Oppa..”

“Ah, you wake up?” Jonghun walked towards Chae Rim. You know, Jonghun didn’t leave Chae Rim even just for a minute. He didn’t let himself to fell asleep or left her even to go the restroom. He just wanted to wait Chae Rim.

Chae Rim nodded slowly.

“Please go to the university. You are having tests, right?” said Chae Rim.

“But..”

“I’m okay now. Just don’t worry about me, okay?” added Chae Rim. Jonghun just sighed. Yes, he was really worried about Chae Rim.

Then he nodded slowly.

“I promise, I’ll go home early,” said Jonghun. Chae Rim smiled widely. Yes, Chae Rim was so sure that Jonghun never break his promises. She nodded slowly.

Then Jonghun went out from the room, and asked his mom to take care of his wife until he goes home.

###

As he promised to Chae Rim, he arrived earlier. He fed Chae Rim and took care of her well. He didn’t want if something would happen to her again.

“Can you take me my cellphone and my headset? I want listening to music,” asked Chae Rim. Jonghun nodded. He took his cellphone and sent a message to someone. Don’t ask why he did it. He just wanted beside Chae Rim all the time.

Then a few minute later. Someone knocked the door slowly. Jonghun opened the door.

“As you said, Chae Rim’s mobile phone and her headset, right?” said Hongki who was in front of him. Jonghun took those things then he smiled.

“Thanks bro,” said Jonghun then he closed the door. He asked Hongki to go the hospital. Remember, Hongki was his bestfriend.

Jonghun walked towards Chae Rim and he gave those to her. Chae Rim was surprised cuz Jonghun could give all of those without went out from the room.

Then she used her headset. She was listening to the same song, Life. That was her favorite song.

She put her headset off then looked at Jonghun.

“Can you do me a favor, oppa?”

“What’s it?” asked Jonghun curiously.

“I want to go out,”

“No, you can’t. The doctor said you must stay in the hospital Don’t you remember, the day you stayed in the ICU? That’s not good,” said Jonghun. Chae Rim’s expression has changed.

Jonghun sighed. He took Chae Rim’s hand.

“I’m worried about you, okay?”

Chae Rim looked at Jonghun for a while then she smiled.

“Please. This is my last wish,” said Chae Rim. She smiled widely. No, I mean she tried to smile. She didn’t want to make Jonghun worried cuz of her. Jonghun sighed. Those words was hurted him a lot.

###

“Now here we are,” said Jonghun when they arrived at a place. Yes, Han river’s park. Somehow, Chae Rim really loved that place.

Jonghun lifted Chae Rim’s body and put her on the ground. Jonghun laid his body on the ground.

Chae Rim did it too. They looked at the sky.

They were silent. They were drowned by their own daydreaming.

Jonghun turned his head and started to look at Chae Rim who was beside him. Chae Rim was trying to avoid Jonghun’s gaze.

“What’s wrong?” asked Jonghun calmly. He Chae Rim’s hair gently. But Chae Rim didn’t want to look at Jonghun. Jonghun decided to sit. He was surprised to see Chae Rim. Her nose was bleeding again.

“Please don’t worry about it,” said Chae Rim. She knew that Jonghun see her bleeding nose. Chae Rim wiped her blood. Then she tried to smile.

Jonghun tried to help her. He took his handkerchief and wiped the blood. It was hurted to see Chae Rim’s condition. Jonhun was silent. He didn’t want to make Chae Rim knows that he is worried about her.

Chae Rim’s face was really pale. Her hair was so dry. Her lip was too. Jonghun helped Chae Rim to sit. Chae Rim looked in suffer. Jonghun knew how her conditition is. He was worried about it. But Chae Rim didn’t want to see him in worried.

Chae Rim tried to smile at him. She was really weak. She couldn’t keep her balance. So that Jonghun helped her to sit.

A tear came from her eye. It was heartbreaking. Jonghun was hurted cuz of it. Then he pulled Chae Rim’s body into his arms. He hugged that girl. He didn’t want to lose her.

The park was so silent. They were alone at that place. Don’t ask me why it happened. Chae Rim was silent.

“Will she leaves me now?” asked Jonghun to himself. His eyes were watery. He shook his head slowly. He tried to make him sure that she won’t leave him. But was it possible?

“I’m so tired oppa. I wanna sleep..” said Chae Rim with her weak voice.

“No, please don’t sleep, okay?” said Jonghun. He was still hugging Chae Rim. Chae Rim smiled bitterly. Other tears were flowinf from her eyes.

“But I’m really tired,” added Chae Rim. Jonghun held his tears. He didn’t want to cry at that time. He released his hug and saw Chae Rim who was in fron of him. Chae Rim was so pale. Her hands were so cold. Chae Rim was really weak.

Chae Rim was still trying to smile. But it was really hurted Jonghun. Jonghun took his jacket off. Then he wrapped Chae Rim’s body with it. Yes, he was sure, that Chae Rim was having fever.

Jonghun put Chae Rim’s head on his shoulder. So that Chae Rim could sleep on it. He just tried to make her feel comfort.

“I’m really ready if I die now,” Chae Rim smiled bitterly. She was really tired. Jonghun held one of her hands. Really tight. He didn’t care if it was really cold. He just tried to make Chae Rim feel warm.

“Saranghaeyo oppa,,” said Chae Rim with his weak voice. She tried to hold her pain. She was suffering but she tried to hide it from Jonghun.

That time, Jonghun’s tear was flowing a little. He couldn’t hide his feeling.

He was really sad to see Chae Rim’s condition. He couldn’t make Chae Rim to stay in the hospital. He was blaming himself just because of it.

“Do you want to sing for me?” asked Chae Rim in sudden. She was really weak. Even often she closed her eyes.

 Jonghun nodded slowly.

“I-I want you sing ‘Life’ for me,” added Chae Rim. She smiled bitterly. Her gaze was on the scenery which was in front of them.

Jonghun tried to control himself. He was frustated. Why not? Chae Rim’s condition was really bad. But Chae Rim didn’t want to stay in the hospital.

Jonghun took Chae Rim’s headset which was on her wheel chair. The wheel chair was beside him. So that he didn’t need to move from his seat.

Then he put it on him. He tried to control himself. He tried to control his breathe.

“When you’re standing in front of a split road, it’s okay to look back..

As you see yourself getting farther ahead, you can point out where to go..”

Jonghun sang it. Chae Rim smiled weakly as long as she heard Jonghun singing.

“The setting sun and the image of you getting smaller..”

It wasn’t a slow song. But has good meaning. Chae Rim felt calm cuz heard the lyric. Jonghun tried to sing well just for her.

“Gather your hands and wait for the day it will be shone upon again..”

Once, Chae Rim was singing along. She enjoyed it even though she was suffering the pain. Once, she bit her lower lip to hide it from Jonghun.

“I don’t want to remain as an ambiguous existence..

Why do I lie and deceive myself everyday like a fool?”

Chae Rim let herself crying. Yes, she found herself in that song. She felt was in that song.

Chae Rim smiled bitterly. She closed her eyes slowly.

“Look carefully, this isn’t me

Someone please tell me..”

Jonghun was still singing. His eyes were full of water now. Then it fell one by one.

He was really sad.

Then suddenly..

Chae Rim released her hand’s grip. Her hand was so weak and really cold. It was colder than before. Jonghun was surprised cuz of it. He stopped to sing. He saw Chae Rim who was on his shoulder. Chae Rim’s face was so pale but really calm.

“Chae Rim-ah, wake up. I haven’t finished it yet,” said Jonghun calmly. He shook Chae Rim’s body gently. He was trying to make Chae Rim awake. But…

“Chae Rim, please wake up,” said Jonghun once again.

Chae Rim didn’t wake up. Her body lost the balance. Her eyes were closed. And her breathe….. was lose.

Jonghun realized that Chae Rim would’t wake up again. He pulled Chae Rim in his arms. He hugged that girl tightly. His tearswere flowing. He let himself crying.

Chae Rim left us. . .

###

It was the third day after Chae Rim left us. Jonghun, yes Jonghun. Jonghun was drowned by the sad feelings. It was really hard to forget Chae Rim.

He gave everything for her happiness, but she still left hm. It was hurted him a lot.

Jonghun didn’t want to talk with anyone nor meet with anyone. He just let himself in his room. Alone.

Jonghun looked at the wall’s clock in his room.

“11.00” said him to himself. He closed his eyes. He tried to forget all of his sadness. That’s all.

He walked towards the table on his room. On that table, he could see a picture of him and Chae Rim on their marriage. He smiled bitterly. He held his tears.

He put many things on that table. Those were all Chae Rim’s things. Her headset, her cellphone, her books, etc.

Jonghun took Chae Rim’s headset and also the cellphone. Then he walked towards his bed. He sit on to it. Then he put the headset on him. He played Chae Rim’s favorite song, Life.

It was really good at first. But then it felt so hard to continue the song. He even couldn’t stop thinking about Chae Rim. He let his breathe out. Then he decided to change the song.

‘Test…test…’

Jonghun was surprised when he heard a girl’s voice on the headset. He saw Chae Rim’s cellphone. It was voice recorded.

He let himself to listen to that voice recorded.

‘I don’t know if you will listen to it or not, Jonghun-oppa. But I hope so..’

Jonghun was sure that it was Chae Rim’s voice. Yes, he rembered Chae Rim’s voice a lot. He wouldn’t forget it.

‘I’m the one who can’t reaveal what I feel. So.. I make it..

I’m so thankful that I met you 3 years ago. On that day, I started to love you. Cuz you are the one who take care of me a lot..’

Jonghun smiled as long as he heard Chae Rim’s voice. He could remember the time that he met Chae Rim at the first time when she was really short and innocent.

‘But.. Then you hate me with no reason after that. Maybe, because I love to follow you whenever and wherever you go. So, sorry..’

‘Then the problem comes. I have to feel this pain, Hemophilia. And I can’t stay any longer cuz of it..’

Jonghun bit his lower lip. Yes, he remembered that day too. The day when Chae Rim was really sad and gave up to live. The day when she was just thinking about her death.

‘Okay, I don’t need to talk any non sense. Jonghun-oppa…

I don’t know what I must say to you..

You give everything to me and do everything for me.

Even you must leave Hyomin-eonni for me..

I’m so sorry cuz of it. I know you still love her, right?

I saw you hug her today..’

Jonghun was shocked to hearing that. Yes, it meaned that Chae Rim saw him hugged Hyomin at that time. He felt sorry cuz of it. He felt like a fool. Actually he didn’t want to do it. But.. Hyomin..

‘But… I know, you will never love me as your wife. You just love me as your sister. I know that. But.. actually it hurted me a lot..

Thanks for everything oppa. You give me everything. I hope I can stop the time and I’ll pay it to you. But it’s impossible..

I-I love you..’

.

.

.

.

The voice recorded ended. Jonghun was silent. His eyes were full of water right know. He was heartbreaking.

‘I love you too, Chae Rim. I love you, Chae Rim-ah…”

Then Jonghun started to cry. All the tears that he had held, were flowing. He couldn’t control himself. He was really sad cuz he couldn't see Chae Rim again. No more.

The End~