Guess who has wifi~ :D this chapter is SUPER short though (sorry ^^;) so I'll update again tomorrow and I'll make up for it with a much longer chapter! ^_^

(JiHyun’s POV)

I had thought on and off about marrying Mr. Bang but I just wasn’t sure and marriage was something I wanted to be sure about.

However, right now, I was so disappointed and embarrassed with myself. When Mr. Bang pulled out that velvet box my heart started to thump. It had sounded like he was just going to ask me to be his girlfriend but that box whisked away all my thoughts. I thought he was going to propose to me and in that moment I knew that if he asked me to marry him I would say yes. I didn’t know how, I just knew.

Then he said, “Nam JiHyun, will you be my girlfriend?” and I was brought back down to earth.

He wasn’t asking me to marry him and that got me thinking…why? He had never brought it up so that meant he wasn’t thinking about it right? Mr. Bang wasn’t one to keep any burning thought sealed up. If he really wanted to marry me he would talk about it or at least mention it in passing.

These thoughts made me tear up and I tried my best to pass my tears off as tears of happiness. For the rest of the dinner and all the way back to Mr. Bang’s apartment I couldn’t stop thinking about why Mr. Bang wouldn’t want to marry me. Was I too young? Was I too shy and quiet? Did he want someone more mature like HyoSung or SunHwa? And worse yet I couldn’t say any of this to him. How embarrassing would it be to voice these insecurities? I couldn’t bring myself to do it. I just needed to be alone with my thoughts.

There was a knock on the open door and I turned around from packing the last few things into my bag.

It was HimChan.

“Are you ready?”

I nodded and gave him a small smile,

“Let’s go then.”

He didn’t ask what was wrong so I knew Mr. Bang had already told him what happened. Mr. Bang was waiting in the living room. He hugged me and despite the way I was feeling I had to hug him back.

“Call me, ok?” He asked.

I nodded. “Thank you for letting me stay. I had a good time.”

He smiled softly and I saw he was still searching my eyes for what was wrong so I kissed him.

“Maybe I can stay over next weekend?” I asked, hoping to make him feel better.

He looked a bit happier. “I’m sure you can.”

As soon as I sat in the car with HimChan he sighed heavily.

“I know you’re not going to tell me what’s wrong but I can tell you that it’s not fair to have YongGuk pulling his hair out wondering why you’ve gotten so sad all of a sudden. Why won’t you tell him what’s wrong?”

It was difficult not to be comfortable with HimChan and I already had a good relationship with him so I opened up a little.

“It’s embarrassing,” I said in a small voice.

“You know YongGuk would never judge you for anything, JiHyun-ah.”

I needed to talk to someone. I didn’t want to keep this in.

“HimChan, will you please promise not to tell Mr. Bang? Please?”

HimChan looked thoughtful for a minute or so.

“I promise.”

“Mr. Bang gave me a ring today when he asked me to be his girlfriend. When he took out the box…I thought he was going to propose to me but he didn’t. I just…I felt so embarrassed. I love Mr. Bang so much, HimChan, and today I realized that I want to be with him forever. I want to get married to him but he’s never spoken about it. I don’t know why he wouldn’t…” I started to cry but I was glad I had gotten everything out.

When I looked at HimChan’s side profile I saw a small smile forming on his face.

“Why are you smiling?” I asked angrily, “This isn’t funny, Kim HimChan!”

“Yah! I’m your oppa, don’t be so angry with me! Trust me, JiHyun-ah, I know why I’m smiling. You know I wouldn’t smile at your pain.”

I was still angry but now I was confused too.

I opened my mouth but he shushed me.

“JiHyun-ah, I find that if things are difficult to say it’s a lot easier to write them down. If I were you I would write what I was feeling in a letter form and I would give it to YongGuk.”

“Write how I feel?”

“Yes, I think it’s a good way to really get your thoughts and emotions out clearly. Write YongGuk a letter and when you’re finished with it I’ll give it to him. That way you won’t have to worry about how he’ll react.”

“But what if…what if he doesn’t want to marry me?”

“Don’t worry about that JiHyun-ah. Trust your oppa. Write the letter and give it to me.”

pic cr: http://www.flickr.com/photos/athena/325752626/