Author’s POV

“I said go away!” Chen pushed Kris with so much forced, causing the older to step back and trip over something and eventually, he landed on the marble floor.

“Aww.” Kris groaned and massaged his slightly pained . He looked up to Chen with puffed cheeks and pouty lips. “Is this how you express your ‘miss’ towards me?”

Chen rolled his eyes and stepped forward to help Kris up, “I told you I don’t remember you.” He was supposed to help Kris stand up, but the moment their hands intertwined; Kris pulled him which caused him to fall on his chest. Kris grabbed the chance to hug him really tight. He just make sure he doesn’t break the younger’s fragile body.

“Yah, l-let me go.” Chen struggled to stand up but Kris strong arms are one heck of a life ruin-er. Of course, the older man made sure Chen wouldn’t have the slightest chance to escape from him. “Can’t you hear me? I said let me stand up!” Chen continued to struggle.

Kris just let out a soft endearing chuckle. “No. I can’t do that.”

“Why?” the younger hissed.

“Because I can’t let you go.”

“What are you talking about?! Just let me stand up so that I can leave—“

“I don’t want you to leave me. You won’t leave me again, Chen.”

“Shut up and let me up. You have deep psychological problems.” He hissed as he continued to struggle. “I don’t even know who you are!”

“My name is Kris, and I love you.”

“….”

Kris felt that the younger man above him have stopped struggling between his arms. He even tightened the hug. His head whirled as he was intoxicated of Chen’s hair scent. He can’t help but to kiss his hair.

Dreaming, I must be dreaming… Or am I really lying here with you? Magic, it must be magic.

After all that I’ve been through, I still love you, Chen. Having you next to me right now, happiness is obviously an understatement. It’s like a fantasy; you’re already just a heartbeat away from me. I’m happy I didn’t let go. I’m happy I still held on. I knew I should’ve just, but a life lived without you could never be right. As long as I breathe and as long as my heart beats, it will be forever because of you. These are the perks of loving you but I regret nothing.

Chen was stunned with Kris’ words. His parents have told him they loved him, and he felt just so normal. But when this stranger told him he loves him bluntly, there was a foreign feeling he felt. His heart skipped a beat. He doesn’t know how to describe it. Excitement, happiness—no, they are overstatement. A small crimsoned color flushed through his face. He doesn’t know how can a stranger make him feel so light, so free, so… so not him.

Who are you? What am I to you? What are you to me? How come you love me? How come I don’t remember meeting your name in my notebook? Is it because you’re too important? Or is it because you’re just somebody not worth remembering? You’re a stranger. But… the feeling you’re giving to me right now is not foreign at all. And why do I feel that I like it? A lot?

Chen was startled with the sudden act of Kris shifted their positions. Now, Chen is underneath Kris. Kris looks at him and the younger couldn’t help but to stare back as well. He wasn’t a bit intimidated by the older man’s stunning gaze. He pursed his lips when he felt Kris breath brushed on his delicate skin. They were exchanging breaths.

“Chen,” Kris started. His one hand reached for Chen’s hair and softly brushed them. “Why? Mmm? Why can’t you remember me?”

Chen was struck by Kris’ question. He took a deep breath before answering him with all honesty. “You’re not written in my notebook.”

Kris’s forehead crumpled, “Huh? Notebook?”

Chen nodded like a little child. “There was something wrong with my brain and the doctors said that it should be taken away. I—I’m not Chen anymore. I’ve lived as a new person. And the notebook, that notebook served as my guide. My mom said I wrote everything in there that I have to remember before the operation. In case I forget, no it has been guaranteed that I’ll forget everything; I have my notebook as my guide. But… you’re not in there.”

There was a big pang in Kris’ heart as Chen muffled his last sentence. Chen doesn’t want to remember him? Why? But that issue didn’t matter first in Kris. He was more curious on what happened to Chen. Oh God, where was he when Chen needed him the most?! Where the heck was he when Chen was suffering?!

“Why didn’t you tell me?” the older asked in a calm tone, trying to hide the anger towards himself.

“I… I don’t know. Should you know? Why should have I told you?”

Kris sighed. “Chen, I—You… You broke up with me. You left me. You didn’t tell me anything. You left for States without any words. Why?” Kris could feel that there were already mists forming in his eyes. “Why didn’t you tell me? I should’ve been there for you. I should’ve stayed by your side. I should’ve taken care of you. You wouldn’t have been so lonely. I should’ve eased your pain even just for a bit. I should’ve held your hand when you were so scared. I should’ve—“

“Why?” Chen asked in a flat monotone. “Why would you do that? What am I to you? What are you to me?”

Kris smiled at him gently. He ran his fingers through Jongdae’s forehead to brush away his bangs. “We were in love. No, we still are.” He said in soft velvety whisper. He leaned closer to kiss Chen’s forehead.

Chen couldn’t hide his cheeks tainted with crimsoned color. Kris pulled away and stared at him. Chen looked away and pushed the man above him. Kris stumbled to the side and Chen grabbed the chance to stand up.

“I—I’m going.” He stuttered before his feet dragged him away from Kris.

Kris just smiled as he watched over the retrieving Chen, “You will remember me, Chen. Hearts and feelings don’t lie. The way I see it, we’re not meant to anyone else.”

~

Chen locked the door of his room. He leaned his back against it and slowly slides until his collided with the floor. His breathing was rapid so was his heart beat. He could feel his sweaty forehead. His eyes started to look for something. He immediately found his notebook at the bedside table. He reached for it and immediately opened it to scan it. He ran his fingers through every page. Positive, no sign of ‘Kris’ was written in there. But there were some notes there that left him hanging.

“Leave food to the room 216. He needs to eat. It’s his favorite.”

-       No name was written.

“November 6 is a special day. Leave a cake on room 216.”

-      No name was written as well.

“February 14. Valentine’s Day, eh? Leave chocolates on room 216.”

“November 30—it’s a special day. Grab a toy. A plushy will do. Leave it to room 216.”

Everything doesn’t seem to make sense. It was all vague.

He continued to search through his room. Though he doesn’t know what he was looking for, he has this feeling that he has to find something. He opened his drawers but they were bare with unnecessary old papers he had probably left before they left for States. He ran to his closet and scanned his old clothes. Unfortunately, he found nothing. He sighed in defeat and smashed the closet door so hard. He went to another closet and he found it bare… with a box.

He took the box with his hand. To his surprise, the box was slightly heavy. He laid it down to the floor. He blew away the dust that covered the box and eventually coughed. He opened the box slowly. He frowned because he found something that made his heart jumped.

It was a Polaroid of him and the tall psycho blonde earlier, who claims them to be in love, sitting on a swing, hand in hand. He was smiling perfectly. Kris wasn’t looking at the camera and was looking straight to him.

One thing just sank in his mind, he never smiled like that for 2 years. He never had the same perfect radiant smile like on the Polaroid. He always have this toothy or toothless deceptive smiles.

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A/N: Hi guys! I hope you enjoyed this chapter as much as I enjoyed writing this. I don't know, I'm just happy with the progress between Chen Chen and his Dduizhang... next chapters will be fluff... (leave the angst for the last :)