Author’s POV

Kris groaned and his voice muffled into his sheets and pillows. The sun’s beam broke into his window and hit his gorgeous face. He opened his eyes despite of the sun’s beam. The human sized mirror across his bed showed how he looks like right now. His eyes are swollen and his hair is in a beautiful mess. He looks awful.

“Chen,” he whispered.

He immediately got up from his bed as a response to the sound of his voice which called out Chen’s name. He arranged his hair, grabbed a jacket, randomly scattered on the floor and trailed off his room.

~

“Chen! Yah, Kim Jongdae!”

For the nth time, he called for Chen. He was in front of Chen’s house, pestering the neighborhood by shouting for Chen’s name for almost 30 minutes now. It’s 8 in the morning and the sun is just all up.

“Aisht,” Kris cursed under his breath. “Kim Jongdae,” he whispered.

It was last night when Chen broke up with him. It was last night when his world shattered. It was last night when he felt the excruciating pain and dying sorrow. And it is today when he will have his world back again.

“Kris,” someone called. It was Chen’s noona.

“Chen? Where is Chen? Let me talk to him, please. Please, don’t let him leave me. I need—Chen, please. Help me; I know he loves me—Please,”

“Kris,” she cut him off. “He’s gone and is never coming back. He has made up his mind. Just stop, Kris.”

Kris shook his head vigorously. “No, he will come back. I will wait for him. I will.”

“Kris,” she shook his head and looked at him sympathetically. “Don’t wait. He will not come back—“

“No!” Kris shouted. “Stop! Please stop! He loves me! He will come back! He will definitely come back and I will definitely wait. Please stop, he is everything I have.”

“I’m sorry.” She whispered.

~

Kris lived like a walking corpse for the first few months. It’s so funny, because he was able to live for the first few months. The first few months were filled with sorrow and pain.

If I close my eyes, I can't think of anything except your face. I can't listen to the music because it might be a story of you and me. I can't do anything.

Now I even pick up the phone thinking it might be you. Even though I know it's not you, I wish it was you. Please come back, you’re all that is left for me. You’re all that I have. I need your love.

Pieces of you float up. The promises we made together, they fill me up inside. I’m tired. When will you come back? When will you love me again? When will you complete me again? When you left, you didn’t just take a piece of me, Chen. You’ve taken the whole me. When will you appear before me again? Is that the right question? Should it be, will that ‘when’ be answered still?

I tried meeting other people to forget you. But I only remembered the memories you left behind. Wherever I go, wherever I look, I tried to catch you but I couldn’t touch you. It hurts me more. It’s suffocates me. You’re killing me, Chen.

I’ve been waiting but you never come. Chen, I’m tired. When is the when? Is it next week? Next month? Next year? I’m tired. Can you just come to me the next minute? Or better yet, the next second? When I look at the cherished pictures of you, again it seems like my heart will probably stop. It hurts so much, like it’s the wound of the yesterday. I want to go back where we were still together. I want to live in that loop forever. Even the times that we fought, the times that we fight immaturely about small stupid things, I come to appreciate those times. At least, you’re still by my side. At least, I could still see you. At least I could still hear you. At least I could still feel you.

Chen, I’m starting to regret it. I’m starting to regret that I ever met you. I want to go back to that time, where I don’t know the meaning of love, pain, sorrow, separation. The heart I’ve kept control of seems like it will burst. All day in my thoughts of you, it seems like I will die.

I hate the me who remembers you. There is no end to this. I am starting to think that this is all unfair. It seems like I am the only one hurts like this.

I miss you so much, Chen. I cannot let you go. Even though I am hurting, I still can’t let you go. No matter how long I wait, I just can't let you go. Even though all you can give me is pain, I'll still continue to wait.

I want to forget so much it feels like dying.

~

“He’s safe.”

Two words. Simple two words that brought overwhelming happiness to the Kim family. Mrs. Kim cries on the chest of Mr. Kim. Chen’s sister laughs and cries at the same time. Nothing more could be better than the news that Chen is already safe. Chen isn’t dying anymore. Chen will  never ever be gone.

Chen is sitting on his bed. His eyes are fixed on the afternoon orange sunlight through the wall window of his hospital room. His face is blank and you could get nothing out of it. He looks so thin with his thin hospital gown and the bandage in his whole head. This is new Chen, a new person.

A creak sound was heard through the door. His eyes immediately fixed on it. Unfamiliar faces appeared one by one. He wasn’t the typical amnesiac who asks, “Who am I?’; “Where am I?”; “Who are you?”; “Why can’t I remember anything?”. Though when he woke up after 36 hours of sleeping, he felt the same feeling of a normal amnesiac. The doctor gave him facts: His name is Kim Jongdae; he’s from Korea; and the reason why he couldn’t remember anything.

“Chen Chen,” Mrs. Kim’s tears fell when she muttered Jongdae’s nickname. Chen took the initiative to smile. He was the most beautiful when the afternoon orange sunlight hit his face that wears the most beautiful radiant smile.

 ~

Kris groaned and his voice muffled into his sheets and pillows. The sun’s beam broke into his window and hit his gorgeous face. He opened his eyes despite of the sun’s beam. The human sized mirror across his bed showed how he looks like right now. His eyes are swollen and his hair is in a beautiful mess. He looks awful.

“Chen,” he whispered.

He smiled to himself because this set-up happened very often. That he would whisper Chen’s name every morning the moment he open his tired eyes. He crumpled his forehead as he remembers everything that had happen last night.

“Who are you? How come that you know me?” Kris almost jumped when he heard that voice. He was longing to hear it for the past two years. He fixed his eyes to a certain being. There, his Chen stands, 5 meters away from him. He tried to get up—

“Don’t come near me.” Chen immediately uttered.

“I miss you.” Kris smiled.

Kris has the most precious smiles. His smile is rare to be seen that it is so precious.

He got up and started walking towards Chen.

“I said stop,” Chen panicked. Kris doesn’t hear any of Chen’s words. His prayer has come true. Chen is standing before him and he’s not stupid to do nothing.

“Yah! I don’t know who you are, I just came back this morning to check on you even though I am still scared of you. Wait, stop walking towards me! Yah—“

Chen was caught between Kris’ strong arms, “Chen Chen,”

Chen tried to escape. “Stop calling my name like we know each other.”

“I kissed you last night, you shooed me away, and you ran away from me. But still you said you came back this morning.” Kris tightens the hug like he doesn’t care if he breaks Chen.

“I missed you so much that I feel like dying for the past 2 years.”

_________________________________________________

A/N: Sorry for the late update again! And yeah, our prelims are done but we have TWO WEEKS to prepare for our midterm exams. T.T anyways, I'll just be a bookworm for another 2 weeks and yay, xmas vacation! Anyways...  So, if anyone is confused, the first part was the past, the middle was still the past... and the last part was the PRESENT... :) Thank you for reading everyone! I hope you drop your comments. 

By the way! CONGRATULATIONS EXO FOR WINNING THE NEW ASIAN AWARD! I'm so proud of our dazzling angels!

cr: to the owner