The Past and The Present
Listen To The Voice Of My Heart
I flip through the channels on the television mindlessly, nothing on there was "news" for me at all. A family murdered in a small suburb home. The father and the mother, including the 5 month old baby, were all murdered. Police found no clue of whom may the murder be, this case shall be further investigated. I felt sympathetic for the family, especially the 5 month old baby, who didn't get a chance to live. But if today, that 5 month old baby lived, there is a big possibility that he will come back and hurt my one and only family member, whom I do not want to loose at all. Suddenly I had no sympathy for that 5 month old baby and the lose of his life. My brother, Nam Woohyun, was the one who is responsible for this family's death. He is responsible for many people's deaths. But I couldn't hate him, I could never hate him for what he is doing. Because he is doing this for me. We only have each other, as the older one he must work and earn money in order for us to live a good life. How could I hate him when he is doing this because he wants to take good care of his little sister? Feeling dizzy because of these thoughts, I turned off the television and went to the kitchen to fix dinner instead.
I stared blankly at the wall as I stirred the soup slowly. Everyday I have the fear that Woohyun is not going to be back, because other people could end his life in a split second, just like how he ended other people's lives. I hated the job he has, and I am even more disgusted by the fact that he is doing this kind of work so I can live a good life. My heart sank everytime when I watched the reporters talked about cases and cases of murders when I knew whom the murderer really is. As the family asked the society for help to find the murderer, I can do nothing about it. Because I cannot lose the person that I trust the most and loves me the most and I could never betray him.
"Sojeong-ah! I'm home!" A voice called and I darted to the door and hugged my brother. Everyday, when Woohyun comes home, I would give him a hug because I am glad that he is home and not murdered by someone else.
"Oppa! Come and eat now, I just finished preparing dinner," I said and he patted my head gently.
"Okay, let's go, I am starving," Woohyun said and we walked to the kitchen, he sat down and started eating quickly.
"Eat slowly, or you are going to choke," I said.
"Fine," he said and I smiled and ate.
"What are you looking at?" I asked when I saw Woohyun look at me.
"You reminded me a lot of mom," he said with a smile and I smiled too. Our mom passed away when I was still young, she was the most loving and kind woman I have ever met, however she died the same way my dad did In hands of a murderer. I don't remember my dad, he died when I was only 5 months old, like the baby I saw on the television earlier. Woohyun and I did not come from the same parent, yet we are just as close as siblings whom are related to each other.
Flashback
"Umma! I am going out to play, okay?" I called to my mom.
"Sojeong, it's dangerous outside, can you play in the house instead?" My mom asked.
"But I am bored! Can't I just go outside? Please? If there's bad people I can climb up the trees and hide so they will never catch me!" I said. I was skilled in climbing trees since I had nothing better to do but hang out at the big old tree in our backyard.
"Sojeongie " My mom said hesitantly.
"I promise I will be safe and come back quickly, please?" I asked sincerely.
"Fine, just this once, okay? Come back quickly and be safe," My mom sighed.
"Okay," I nodded.
"Pinky promise?" She said and held out her pinky, I wrap my pink around hers and shook it.
"Go now," she said and I smiled and ran out. I didn't understand why is she making such a big deal about me going out for only a while. It's not like this world is full of murderers and kidnappers.
I was young, innocent, and foolish back then not to realize the real world that we live in until I grew up.
I played with my ball, bouncing it as high as I could and catching it, the weather was beautiful and it felt good to be outside of the house and out of my fenced backyard. I tossed the ball as high as I could but then it rolled down the hill. I went after it immediately.
I ran for a while and finally found my ball in a corner of a street. Then I heard shouts of people and loud sounds. That was my first time hearing the sounds of gunshot.
A man hovered over his wife and a little boy, but the next second I saw blood dripping from his head as he collapsed to the ground. I was frightened to death as I witnessed the whole thing, I climbed up to the a tree quickly and watched the rest.
The mom got on her knees and talked to the little boy for a while, but the boy started shouting and crying. The mom kissed the boy on the cheek and wiped away his tears and left him. The boy started running towards the tree that I was on and hid behind it. I saw a mob of people running past by it, trying to the find the mom or the boy, I supposed. Then I heard a gunshot at the direction the mom ran off to. After they left I got down the tree and I could hear muffled cries nearby, I walked to the boy and looked at him.
"Are you okay?" I asked and he looked at me with his big teary eyes.
"W-Who are you?" He questioned.
"I am not going to hurt you, don't worry," I took a step closer to him but he took a step back.
"Those people who were with you...... Are they your parent?" I asked and he nodded slowly.
"Who are the people that were looking for your family?" I asked.
"I don't know, but they want to kill my dad, my mom and me," the boy answered in a small voice. Then we hear shouts from a far place and the boy was suddenly tense.
"I have to get out of here, they are going to kill me....." he trembled and I took his hand.
"I will take you to my house, come on!" I tugged on his hand and we started running as quickly as possible, no matter how tired we might be. Finally we reached to my house and I shut the door immediately. The boy panted heavily and sweats dripped down from his chin.
"You are safe now," I told him. Then I went to get my mom who is in the kitchen.
"Umma! Umma! Come with me! I need you to meet someone," I grabbed my mom's hand and lead her to the boy.
"Omo! Are you okay?" My mom asked the boy, but he did not answer.
"Umma, his parent just got killed," I said and my mom shot me a look.
"Sojeong-ah, don't say it in front of him, he is really sad already," my mom whispered to me and I nodded.
"What is your name?" My mom asked the boy. He did not answer.
"Do you have any relative that you can go to?" She asked him, after a while he shook his head.
"Well, you can stay with us. I am not a bad person, I am going to make sure those people won't find you and kill you, okay?" My mom said and he nodded slowly.
"Sojeong, go eat first, I will be right back," she told me and left the house. I walked towards the boy sitting at the corner.
"What is your name?" I asked.
"Nam Woohyun," he whispered.
"I am Nam Sojeong! We both have Nam as our last name! Maybe we can be brothers and sisters," I said.
"What?" He asked.
"Come and eat! My mom's soup is the best! I bet you are hungry already," I said and dragged him to the kitchen and scooped up a spoonful of soup and shoved it in his mouth, he almost gagged but I patted his back.
"Sorry about that," I said and left him to eat on his own, he ate very slowly, but then he went and got a second bowl and finished it quickly. Then my mom returned with shopping bags.
"Umma! Woohyun is eating well," I called to my mom.
"Woohyun? Is that his name?" She asked.
"It's Nam Woohyun, he has 'Nam' in his name just like me!" I said.
"Oh really? That's good, Sojeongie," she smiled and patted my head.
"Woohyun, it's Woohyun right?" My mom walked to the boy and asked, he nodded slowly.
"Let's go upstairs and wash up okay?" My mom said and slowly Woohyun followed her. He was only 7 years old back then and I was only 5. After years we grew close to each other and acknowledged each other as siblings, and Woohyun started to call my mom "Mom" as well. She was our mom. The caring and warm mom that we miss very much. Even though Woohyun hadn't been with our mom very long, but he loved her just as much as I did. She was irreplaceable.
"Sojeong, what do you want? Oppa will buy it for you," Woohyun said when we finished dinner.
"Huh?" I asked, confused. Woohyun gathered the dishes and put them in the sink and I started washing them.
"I got my paycheck today, if you want anything, tell me," he said.
"Anything?" I asked and he nodded.
"Anything you want," he said.
"I want you to quit your job," I said and he sighed.
"Sojeongie " Woohyun said.
"Oppa, please quit it, I don't like to see you murdering people," I said straightforwardly.
"But then what is going to pay for our electricity and water bills? And the food? And all the things you want?" Woohyun asked.
"I rather starve to death than have you kill people," I said.
"Sojeong, please not bring up this conversation again " He said.
"Why not? If you hate this topic too then why don't you quit?" I asked.
"I can't, I am doing this so you can live a happy life," he said.
"Oppa, you murdering innocent people means you are no better than the people who took our parents' lives away, and I hate those people, I hate those people a lot!!" I said.
"Nam Sojeong! Can't you understand that I am doing this for you? It's not easy to raise a little sister all by yourself! Why can't you stand for my perspective instead of being stubborn?!" Woohyun yelled and I bit hard on my lip.
"I hate you oppa, you are no better than those people," I said and I slammed the door and left the house. This is our typical fight, once so often I would brought up the subject of him quitting the job even though I knew we are going to fight, it was worth a try. I walked slowly along the road, thinking of the conversation we just had. I know he doesn't like the idea of him killing innocent ones and he knows well that he is just like those people who killed our parents, but in order for us to live a good life, he had no choice. I know I shouldn't be giving him hard times by being stubborn and think in his perspective, but when I tried to understand why he does that, it constantly reminded me of the guy who killed my mom. I witnessed the whole thing with Woohyun. It was brutal and heartbreaking to see your mom killed right in front of you. That memory is still vivid in my mind......
There was a loud and rough knock on our door and my mom went to open the door, I followed her to the door to see who is it. Standing there was a man in suit, wearing sunglasses even though it was a windy and cloudly day. My mom looked startled and worried all of the sudden, she looked at me and kneeled at my side.
"Sojeong, mommy have to talk to this uncle for a while, stay in the house and don't come out okay? Tell Woohyun oppa too," my mom said and kissed me on the cheek and went outside. Woohyun came down the stairs.
"Who was that?" He asked.
"A man, I don't know who he is," I said and we ran to the window to see what is going on. The two of them were talking for a while, then my mom started to raise her voice, which is something I have never seen her do. My mom never raises her voice at me or at anybody else before. Then she kneeled down in front of the man and holding onto his hand, but the man shook her away. My mom looked vulnerable and weak there as she cried and begged.
"What is that man doing to umma? I am going to stop him," Woohyun said and I stopped him.
"Oppa, umma told us not to go outside, we have to listen to her," I said even though I was scared that something might happen to our mom. Then the man raised a gun, pointing directly at our mom, then we darted to the door, but it was too late.
My mom died. Just like that. She is gone.
I looked at the man's face and he no longer have his sunglasses on. His eyes met mine, that cold stare he gave me after he left, I could never forget it. His face still haunts me in my dream sometimes.
I found myself kneeling on the ground, clutching onto my shirt and panting hard on the road as I recall that memory. I felt dizzy and I just wanted to go home. It is late already and I don't want Woohyun to be worried about me. I headed towards my home's direction and walked in small steps.
As the house came into my view, I had flashbacks of the moment and the place where my mom was killed. I got down onto my knees and touched the ground where my mom collapsed. I still remember it, the very place she fell down. I could still smell the blood. Tears streamed down my cheek as I recall the memory.
"You are Nam Sojeong?" A voice called. I froze. I recognize this voice extremely well, this is the voice I am scared of the most. I turned around to see the man that haunted me every night after my mom's death. It was him, he did not change at all. The cold stare that I see in my nightmares, that made me wake up in cold sweats, was back. I panted heavily as I moved as far as I could. But he stepped foreward to me.
"You grew up nicely, you look like your mom," he said.
"W-What do you want?" I asked.
"So you do remember me," he said.
"You killed my mom," I trembled.
"Yes. Your mom begged me not to kill you and your brother and just kill her, so I did. But...... one little problem," he walked near me and leaned down, our eyes met again after many years.
"......I am back to kill you and your brother," he smirked. I couldn't get myself to move.
"You obviously recognizes me, even though I promised not to kill you and your brother, but how do I know that you won't be back to kill me, especially when you remembered my face so clearly?" The man asked.
"P-Please....... don't do this....." I begged. Now I knew how my mother felt that very moment.
"Are you asking me to have some mercy for you? I'm sorry, but I am a merciless man, and I need to end the Nam family so none of you will be backstabbing me in the future," he said and held out his gun and pointed at me. Now I was in my mom's position few years ago, I am going to die in the same spot and killed by the same man as my mother. This is the end for me then? I am going to die like how my mother did, quickly and hopefully, painlessly.
Hi there! I see you have stumbled upon my not very well written INFINITE fanfic!! This is my first time writing an INFINITE fanfic so I have you all Inspirits will enjoy it!! Please give it lots of love and I will be updating as soon as possible~~ Gomawo ^____^
sorry for not updating often, I had a lot of work to do and plus I just started another fanfic, but I will try to update as quickly as possible ^_____^
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