My hope were unfounded.

She didn't call that night. Or the next. Or the next. I called her and texted her everyday for a week, with each day I would call one extra time and text several more than that. First day I just texted to check in and apologize again. No answer. The second day I called and texted her about some new gossip I had heard. Nothing. The third day I was apolgizing again. Two calls, one in the morning and one before I went to sleep and texted her several times. No response. The fourth I was really starting to freak out. 2AM hasn't had many schedules but I was finally going solo with a rock album which had always been my dream. I wanted to share it with her so badly. Fifth day, still no response, I just kept calling and leaving voicemails and texts. Sixth day was the record. I called 6 times, left 3 voicemails, and 10 text messages. Nothing at all. They all consisted of about the same thing. I miss her. And I did. I'm sorry. And I was. Finally, on the seventh day she responded. I had been recording when I got the text so I didn't see it until about an hour after she sent it. When I saw that it was her I almost didn't even want to look. It had been so long since she had last contacted me, I was scared that she would say that our relationship was over. Whatever our relationship was. But that's not what it said. All it said was that she needed time.

That's it. Once sentence. "I need time." What does that even mean? Now I was starting to get angry. It's not like I cheated on her, it's not like I freaking killed someone. I forgot to pick her up, and I shouldn't have, and that was wrong of me, but wasn't she overreacting a little bit? We were best friends, how could she ignore me for over a week over something so trivial. I need time, what is that? Need time for what? There was nothing traumatizing enough that she should even need time. That was it, I couldn't take this anymore. I was sorry but she was taking this too far. We are way too important to each other for this to get in the way of our friendship. So I called her, and this time I wasn't being the sorry friend who messed up. I told her exactly what I thought of what she was doing, leaving me behind, ignoring me, talking with someone who shall.not.be.named, and all over nothing. I was sorry, I told her voicemail angrilly, but she was too important to me for me to just allow her to distance herself from me like she was doing. And that it's not like she couldn't understand, she knew who I was with and how I felt about her. She knew how important both of the girls are to me. I told her I didn't see why she was so incredibly mad. I hung up after yelling like this for about 5 minutes and then slammed my phone down and went back to recording. I needed to distract myself...only I kept finding myself glancing back at my phone in case it decided to light up. It didn't. Seulong Hyung and Jokwon Hyung came in to watch me record for a little bit and talking and laughing with them through the box distracted me for about 5 minutes. And then my phone lit up. I noticed because I kept one eye constantly on it and immediately jumped a little bit when I saw it vibrating and glowing on the table outside, thought I couldn't hear it in the recording room. Seulong Hyung took in my reaction and followed my eyes down to my phone.

"Oh, Jinwoon-ah your phone is ringing, I'll get it for you."

I watched in horror as he began to lift the phone to answer it and immediately started running out. The headphones I had forgotten I was wearing which proceeded to be ripped off my head as I made my way to the door. I vaguely heard the producer yelling at me to be careful but I could barely hear him over my yell. "NO!! Don't answer it!" But hyung couldn't hear me and had already hit the answer button before I reached the door. I was reaching the door, ready to rip the phone out of his hand and hang up. But I reached the door, slamming it open, just in time to see him put it to his ear.

"Oh, Seohyun-ah, how are you."

Oops. It was Seohyun. Great. The cause of all my problems and stress nowadays. I knew I shouldn't blame her at all, but part of me resented her a tiny bit. Nothing major. But if I had just left her when I was supposed to that day, none of this would have happened. Hyung looked at me with a question in his eyes while he made small talk with her. I shook my head and turned back to go into the booth in answer. I saw him shake his head on the phone, telling her I was recording or whatever excuse he felt like giving her to tell her I wasn't available. It wasn't that I didn't like her anymore, though I had always jumped at the chance to talk to her before, it was just that now wasn't the right time. After Seulong hyung set the phone back down I found myself staring at it again. The producer told me several times to pay attention but I just couldn't. I finally asked Kwonnie hyung to turn my phone off. And for a few hours I could finally think about something else.

I didn't allow myself to turn my phone back on until I was back at the dorm watching TV. I nervously turned it on, waiting for the successive noises that indicated messages. I got a few from friends and a few about work but nothing from Nicole. And then it came, a voicemail. I was so nervous I didn't know what to do. Maybe I shouldn't have yelled as much as I did. Oh god, I was shaking. I told myself it was OK and gave some excuse to Changmin hyung who was watching TV with me. I stepped outside the dorm to listen. Oh . It wasn't good.

"Jinwoon-ah. It may not have been a big deal to you, but it was monumental to me. You left me behind. I even told you, I told you to remember and you didn't. We're best friends. I know you like her, I do, I know that, and I understand. But don't I matter? Did you not think of me being left there alone? I didn't even have any way to leave and people kept coming up to me. I'm just hurt. Really hurt that you basically chose her over me. I know it's not like that and that you didn't do it intentionally but that's almost worse because you literally forgot I existed for hours. Why do I need time? I need time to get over this hurt and to go back to the laughing and jokey Nicole and Jinwoon that we were. I don't know how long it will take or how easy it will be but I want it to be like that again...Listen i have to go, we'll talk later. I'll call you. Just give me some time OK?"

God. I am such an . Worst person in the world. How could she think she wasn't important to me. That was it, I needed to see her now. I needed her to know how important she was. She needed to know that I needed her in my life. Only...I didn't know where she was. Or did I. Before she said she had to go I heard someone on the loud speaker calling for someone for a researsal. She was at Music Bank supporting someone or other I was sure.

I went back inside and grabbed my jacket and my keys. Over my shoulder I yelled to Changmin hyung that I would be back soon and just left. I was going. And I was going to make her see.

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Author: Gah. It's been a while guys. Sorry if this and is moving slowly but I'm not completely sure where I want things to go. This is really rough and I wrote it all at once without proof reading because I'm too lazy for that. I might come back and edit if I can but in the mean time tell me what you think! I don't know how soon I will update again but comments help keep me motivated! :)