Dear diary,

I feel better now. 

Ok, first off, I should have punched Key. Yes, Key, not Kibum Umma. He locked me in the god damn bathroom! I TRIED to tell him that I already have everything under control, but He wouldn't even let me speak! Damn him and his hidden muscles! I swear, Key may look weak, but he is STRONG! I think I may get a bruise on my arm later. Anyway, he locked me in the bathroom and he wouldn't let me out. I wanted to be at SM first and I don't want to have Key eavesdropping on us, so you know what I did? I climbed out of that small window in the bathroom! I almost fell! Good thing that were on the bottom floor.

Anyway, I went to SM. Some of the hyungs saw me and asked if I had eaten yet. Of course I haven't, but I lied to them. I did feel a little hungry though, so I went to the small coffee shop across the street and got a small coffee and a banana nut muffin. I like bananas! Then after I finished I went to the roof, and waited. It was still a little while before Onew hyung would be here, so I started to just sing. I sang "Hit Me". I actually started to get too into the song that I started tearing up. When I finished, I was about to cry...until I realized that Onew hyung was sitting right behind me. I was embarrassed yes, but I didn't want to stop. I wanted him to sing with me. He agreed to with a smile, and I couldn't help the warmth that spread through out my entire body. This time, we sang Romeo and Juliet, and he taught me how he did his part of the song and helped me with Jonghyun's part. I love it when we're alone like that. It makes me feel like we are friends.

After we finished, he gave me a plate of food. He said Kibum umma made it for me before I escaped. I can't really stay mad at Kibum umma, because he does care about me and Onew. I insisted on sharing, because I can tell when Onew hyung has not eaten breakfast. He was missing this certain energetic glow to him, so I insisted on sharing. He agreed reluctantly.

He asked me if I was avoiding him. He almost gave me a heart attack, but I shook my head. I wasn't avoiding him per say, it was just that I don't like being that extra person that is just there. I like being with Onew hyung and interacting with him, but I don't like sharing him. It makes me feel lonely. He understood, or at least said he did, and promised me that we would meet up here after every MILK meeting. It made me sad that he basically said once a week, but then he said that if we can't get alone time during the day, we would meet at night when everyone is asleep so no one can disturb us. he said that we can even go out! That made me happier, then he sealed it with a hug. I hugged him back, but I didn't want to let go. It felt like maybe I am his friend, but I shouldn't get my hopes up. At least I know I'm important enough to him.

Contently,
    Lee Taemin