“Oppa, let’s go over there!” Sooyoung begged as she tugged on his arms. Kris chuckles as he let her pull him towards a toy store. They were surrounded by large teddy bears.

                “What are you going to buy?” Kris asked.

                “I want that teddy bear.” She said while pulling his arms.

                “Ah-ah. Arasso.” He said as he reached out for the teddy bear.

                He tilted his head towards Sooyoung’s direction but she was gone, “Sooyoung-ah! Where are you?” He asked while trying to find her inside the store.

                He ran outside the door and then suddenly everything turned dark and he can’t see anything anymore.

Kris jerked awake, cold sweat washing over him. He turned to see the time of the alarm clock reading 3:37 a.m. Sighing, he leaned back against the pillow. It wasn’t the first time he had a dream. Lately, his dreams had become more prominent, more frequent. Maybe that’s how much he missed Sooyoung.

Ever since she left, it’s like he haven’t have a good sleep. He sighed once more as he reached over and opened his drawer. Pulling out a locket, there he saw her name carved, Sooyoung.  

He never regretted about anything. She was a good yet painful part of his memory. He let his world revolve around her and when she left, everything was gone. Everything had been different.

He went to the kitchen to drink some water and clear his throat. As he heard the raindrops fall, she was brought back to his memories.

“Oppa, did you miss me?” She asked with her low voice.

“Huh, no, why?” he said while looking at her over his shoulders.

She sighed and said, “Oppa, you’re so bad.” She pouted her lips and with her soft voice she told him, “I missed you.”

He saw her looking at the opposite direction; somehow she seemed to be upset. Although he was reluctant to admit it, he missed Sooyoung. He was just too stubborn to face it. He was gone for three years to study in America and to visit his parents as well.

“I missed you.” He hissed unto her ear with his husky voice.

Hearing those words doesn’t make her feel any better. Instead, she looked away and rolled her eyes again. She doesn’t believe what he said.

“Hey, Sooyoung-ah,” Kris said while tapping her shoulders so that she’ll look at him but it was no use. “Mianhae,” he added. She still doesn’t care so he repeated what he said, “Mianhae. Jagiya~”

She looked at him furiously, “Yeah, yeah, yeah, nice try. As if I’ll believe any of that.”

He wrapped his arms around her waist and kiss her after they parted he said, “Mianhae, Sooyoungie. I was just kidding. I missed you.”

That’s what she likes about him; he makes her feel better every time. Just with his presence, she already feels happy.

“If I know, maybe you’re flirting someone in America that’s why you didn’t miss me. Tch!” She said casting a deadly glare into his eyes.

“Don’t you trust me? I won’t do that to you. You know that I love you.” Kris assured her. Hence, he kissed her cheek several times and tickled her.

“Ha-ha-ha! Alright! I believe you.” She said while smiling back at him.

They decided to go to the beach where they usually hang out since high school. Sooyoung leaned her back at the bench and watched the sunset with Kris on her side.

Suddenly, Sooyoung had her moment of silence. Kris wasn’t used to this. Sooyoung was the cheerful, bubbly kind of girl. She was there by his side, but she’s a thousand miles away from the look on her eyes.

“Sooyoung, are you alright?” He asked with full concern.

Her mind was still wandering off elsewhere. He doesn’t know if he needs to be worried. She doesn’t answer his question either.

“Sooyoung, are you okay?” He asked again and this time he waved his hand in front of her.

“Oh, mianhae,” She recovered. “Yeah, I’m okay. I was just thinking about something. Nothing really important.” Sooyoung said as she beamed at him.

“Do you want me to bring you home?” Kris asked her.

“Yeah, maybe that’s a great idea.” She said as she stood up from the chair.

Both of them walked silently on their way to Kris’ car. It was a bit awkward for Kris, especially when he doesn’t know what’s going on.

Sooyoung felt like fainting. Everything got blurred, dark, hazy. She was about to fall to the ground but Kris held her with his strong arms.

“Sooyoung! Sooyoung!” Kris said while tapping her shoulders and her cheeks.

She was half conscious. Sooyoung can hear Kris’ voice, but she can barely understand a word. She can see a vague image of Kris almost in tears, and that’s all she can understand at this very moment.

Kris frantically got her inside the car. He was panicking; he doesn't know what to do but he managed to take her to the hospital despite his worries.

He can’t fall asleep. He was worried about what will happen to her. As soon as her parents knew, they hurriedly went to the hospital. All of them were worried about Sooyoung. She was their only daughter and they loved her very much.

They saw him sitting at the chairs, looking so tired and lifeless. He had been waiting for a few hours but the doctor hasn’t talked to him yet about her condition.

“What happened?” Sooyoung's mom, along with Mr. Choi, asked.

“She suddenly passed out.” He said as he tried not to tear up.

“Kris, if you want to go home, you can go,” Mr. Choi said with a low voice. “We can handle it from here. Your parents are probably looking for you.”

“No sir, it’s okay. I’ll stay here.” Kris said as he looked back at the hospital room.

As they waited for news of Sooyoung’s condition, Kris and the Choi family stayed in the visitors’ lounge outside. The minutes ticked by, each one feeling like an hour.

Kris tried to spend his time with his phone. He ducked down the hall to the vending machine and bought a drink for himself, which he tossed into the trash after only one zip. He stared at the walls filled with painting and examine it one by one, memorizing every detail. But nothing made the time pass faster.

“What time is it?” Mrs. Choi asked her husband yet again, even though there was a clock in front of her.

“1:17 am.” Mr. Choi replied, “We’ll hear something soon, I’m sure,” he added with his soothing tone.

As if on one cue, a young female doctor stepped through the door of the lounge.

“Mr. and Mrs. Choi? I’m Dr. Jung.”

Mrs. Choi jumped into her feet. Her handbag which had been resting on her lap, dropped through over the floor, “Yes?” she said. “Can you tell us how Sooyoung’s doing?”

“She’s okay now but we diagnosed a little tumor in her brain, but were afraid it's malignant.” Dr. Jung reported.

“Tumor? Doc, she’s perfectly fine these past few days.” Kris asked with disbelief.

“Right now, we are sure about this diagnosis. It’s up to you if you want more tests to prove it. You can come in and see her now if you’d like.”

Sooyoung’s parents rushed towards the door and Kris followed. As they walked down the deserted corridor, Kris caught snatches of Sooyoung’s parents’ conversation with the doctor.

Seeing Sooyoung like that, so weak and frail made his heart shattered into little pieces. What if she really has a tumor? What if she can’t stand by his side anymore?

He knew he wouldn’t be able to sleep. Not tonight. Not until I know Sooyoung’s going to get better.

The next morning, Kris drove back to the hospital. He rubbed his dry, tired eyes. He hadn’t slept for more than an hour. His parents had tried to comfort him but he really didn’t feel like talking.

Kris passed by the corridor and saw a nurse who had just come from Sooyoung’s room. “Good Morning,” She greeted. “I was just checking on her. She’s sleeping quietly, go on in.”

Kris headed straight to Sooyoung’s room. Still wearing the clothes they’d had on the previous night, Mr. and Mrs. Choi sat leaning against each other, both asleep. They’d never gone home.

He crossed to Sooyoung’s bedside, pulling up a chair. There were too many machines. Kris wasn’t even sure if he should dare to touch her.

Cautiously, he stretched out a hand and brushed her forehead lightly with his fingertips. “Sooyoung,” he whispered. Suddenly, there was a glimmer of consciousness in her eyes. At last she managed to speak, “Kris,” she whispered faintly.

“I’m here,” he said, clasping her hand in both of his. “How do you feel?”

“I feel dizzy. Where am I? Where’s mom and dad? I heard their voices last night.” She asked. She turned to her side and saw her parents. After a few minutes they woke, probably heard the two talking.

“Darling, we're so worried about you. Are you okay? Do you want me to call the doctor?” Her mother said.

“No, I’m fine,” She took a deep breath. “Mom, Dad, I really wanted to talk about my condition and tell you the truth. Last month I went to the hospital and talk to my doctor. She said I had brain tumor.. malignant.. and people rarely survive. I tried to go on treatments and I really didn’t want you to know.”

 “It’s hopeless. Last month, my doctor told me that I have six months left, more or less. I don’t want to spend it at the hospital. I want to spend my last months with you guys.”

“Honey, we can’t just give you up.” Her mom said, as she tried to control her tears. Sooyoung knew she promised to be strong in front of her. “You know that. You’re our one and only daughter.”

“Mom, this is hard for me than it is for you.” She said quietly, her eyes were already filled with tears. “Please. Let me do this. Just this once. Let me decide for myself.”

Though, it had been hard for all of them, they just let her do want she wants. Even just this once. They want her to be happy and do her own choice about what she really wants.

“Jagiya, can you come in my room? I need to talk to you while mom and dad

 are gone, something really important. I’ll be expecting you. I’ll be waiting here.”

-          Soo young <3

He went to her room. She was seated quietly on her bed. He stood up next to her.

“Babe, feeling better?” He asked.

“I miss it.” She said.

“Miss what?” He asked while raising both of his eyebrows.

“Whenever you call me babe. It feels like I’m really owned by someone.” She beamed brightly.

Kris smirked. “Well, you're mine.”

Sooyoung can’t stop her cheeks from blushing. He’s really cute when he does that whenever he tries to be cheesy and sweet.

Suddenly, their conversation had become deeper. They weren’t really used to this kind of conversation since both of them are jolly and funny. They hate talking anything about drama. But now, their conversation is important, personal. It’s about them.

“Kris, I want to tell you something.” Her bubbly voice turned into a serious one. “Since you were gone, I knew that I had brain tumor and it’s developing. I’ve responded to treatments but nothing happened. There’s no cure.” She said hopelessly.

“You could have told me about this, Sooyoung,” He raised his voice, “And not bringing it up to me when it’s all too late!”

“Because it won’t do anything, even if I tell you nothing will happen!” She shouted.

“Nothing will happen! What do you mean nothing will happen?! If you told me I’d go back to Korea and help you!” Kris insisted.

“Help me? Kris, there’s no cure!” She almost screamed. “Wake up! I’m dying soon!” Sooyoung’s eyes welled up with tears.

Silence separated them apart. He’d never have expected her to say that. And he can never imagine her to say that. She’s too young to die. They still have so many things to do together.

Sooyoung couldn’t stop crying. She felt weak, helpless. Even Sooyoung herself can’t believe the things she said were real. I hope one day I’ll wake up and everything went back to normal, she had this wistful thought.

The clock had already reached midnight, just like Cinderella. Just like that goddamn fairytale and everything needs to end.

“I have six months. And I want to share it with you even for the last time, Kris.” She said while she continued to sob.

Kris can’t see his girl crying like that. He hugged her tightly, he doesn’t want to let her go anymore.

“I won’t let you die. And you won’t die.. that’s why you’re here at the hospital, right? For a cure. You will be fine.” Kris said with his soothing voice.

She cried on his shoulders. Yes, she is indeed a strong woman. She had always been valiant, she can always stand by her own feet, but she can’t bear this one thing.

“I decided to leave the hospital and I wanted you to know. I give up,” Her heart was slowly breaking with every word she uttered. “I already fought it for the last three years. I want to rest now, I’m already tired. I’m begging you.”

She doesn’t know where all her guts came from but saying goodbye is never an easy thing. Nothing in this world is easy, anyway.

Kris didn’t utter another word, he silently nodded. Behind that nod is searing pain, pain that cuts through his every single nerve. Kris felt like breaking down, but he was so certain that it would only trigger Sooyoung’s emotions.

Time had passed faster than they have expected. Their love had outgrown within themselves and this time bigger, greater.

“Oppa, let’s watch the sunset.” Sooyoung said as he grabbed his hand way out of their house.

Everything was sudden. She pulled him outside to go to the beach where they had usually hanged out. They missed this one, spending time together. It had always been beautiful.

When they finally arrived to their destination, both of them walked silently to the bench. There was a moment of silence separating them. They both sat down at the bench and watched the sunset.

“Oppa, isn’t it beautiful?” She asked while beaming at him. 

“Yeah, just like you.” He said.

He cupped her face and pressed his lips against hers. It had been years since the last time they had do this. Sooyoung broke away from his kiss and stared intently at him.

“Sooyoung,” he uttered softly. “It took me more than a second to fall for you and I know that it’ll take forever to say goodbye. Sooyoungie, I want you to know that... I’m willing to let you go now.”

Sooyoung nodded and her tears were freely swimming down her cheeks. “Oppa.."

Before she can finish what she was supposed to say Kris said something. “ Sooyoungie, I love you and always will. Even if I’ll lose you. Thank you. Thank you for loving me. Thank you for coming into my life.”

Now, they were both sobbing. Kris reached out for her and gave her a hug. She hissed into his ears. “Heaven is a nice place so don't worry about me. But even if I'll leave soon, I promise you one thing, one day we’ll meet again. And when that day comes, we’ll be together... forever.”

Kris beamed at her though his tears were still continuously flowing. He wiped her tears with his bare hands.

"Oppa, it's getting late, take me home." She requested.

He nodded. They started to walk towards his car. He started his engine and then she entered the car. Hence, they already have arrived their destination.

Sooyoung’s P.O.V

I asked Kris to come with me at the beach where we usually hang out before. I missed this kind of days. And it’s my opportunity to say goodbye. I’ll surely miss him.

I’m not actually good with these goodbyes. I never have expected that I had to say goodbye too soon. I can feel it.

Every day, I feel weak and it’s getting worse. I don’t want to tell my parent. I don’t want to tell it to Kris. I don’t want them to be worried.

All I want before I die is the happiness of everyone I love. I want them to keep me forever but to continue with their lives.

I was a bit shocked that he was the first one to say goodbye but now I’m happy. I know he can continue his life without me. I want him to find another girl whom he truly deserves.  

But I guess, now, all I can do is to hope for the best for them. It’s time to say goodbye.

It was a bright Sunday morning, a good time to have a picnic and spend the day with your loved ones. Mrs. Choi knocked on Sooyoung’s door and to wake her up for their mass.

“Rise and shine, youngie.” Her mother said while continuing to knock at the door.

There was no reaction. She knocked once more, this time louder.

“Eun Dae, bring the keys here!” The maid hurried got the keys downstairs and took it to Mrs. Choi.

Her mother quickly opened the door and she saw her daughter’s lifeless body lying down the floor, motionless. She cried out loud and asked the maid to call the ambulance. But as soon as she got to the hospital it was no use.

Kris went to Sooyoung’s house to visit her parents. They talked for a couple of hours. All of them were doing well lately. But of course, they still miss their Sooyoung.

“We heard you already graduated college, we’re proud of you. And we’re sure Sooyoung will also have been proud of you.” Mr. Choi said. Kris can’

“Tomorrow’s her birthday. Will you visit her for us?” Mrs. Choi asked.

“Yes, of course.” Kris nodded and beamed at her.

He promised he’ll be fine. He’d be stronger than ever.

As soon as he placed the flowers on her grave, tears came flowing.

Sometimes, he can still feel her presence but he can’t talk to her, touch her, hug her like what he usually do. His dreams were his connection to Sooyoung. But in every dream he had, he always had one question for her;

Sooyoungie, can you bring me back from where we started?

Here's the sequel Desired Bliss. This was my entry for Soul Connection — a Writing Competition.