It was awkward as we walked through the park towards the gate.

We had been in the amusement for five hours and it felt like just one or two.

It still rained. It poured down but no one of us cared, at least it wasn't cold.

Outside the gate Jonghyun asked what we were going to do now.

“I have to go home to Dongmin,” I said.

Jonghyuns face darkened. His jaw suddenly tightened and he took a step back.

“So you're really going to go back to him?” He asked sounding pissed.

Why this sudden change of mood?

“It's my home.” I said.

“You can get an other home,” he answered.

No, I can't, I though, and you doesn't understand that.

“But it's my home. And my fiance,” I said.

“So does he make you completely happy?”

I blinked through the rain. What should I say?

Why was Jonghyun so obsessed with me being completely happy? Couldn't he see that I couldn't have both the cake and eat it? That If I choose not to be with Dongmin I had to go home to Sweden which I definitely didn't want to? And if I stayed with Dongmin I could live in South Korea but not with the person I loved?

And couldn't he see that the only thing that would make me completely happy was if I could be with the person I loved.

I stared at him.

But he didn't love me.

I panicked.

“Y... Yes!” I lied.

Jonghyun just stared at me. He looked defeated.

“Well,” he said and throwed his arms out at his sides, “Then I guess I have nothing more to do here.”

I didn't say a thing, I just stared.

“Or?”

I didn't answer.

He sighted loudly, staring up at the sky.

“Then I'll leave you to your happiness,” he said.

Then he turned around and walked away.

My heart pounded the whole way home.

I didn't even notice that Dongmin were pissed at me before he yelled and when he did I didn't care that much, frankly. Because all I could think of was Jonghyun.

I though I had forgot about him, about the two of us on the roof, but now when I standed on the balcony lookin up in the sky spotting the two stars that was us I knew I only had fooled myself. I hadn't forgot about him, I hadn't managed surpresse the love I felt for him. I was in love. And I couldn't deny it.

I sighted and let my head drop to my hands, leaning on the railing. This wasn't going to work out. I was in love with Jonghyun and not Dongmin. I would have to leave him soon.

But why did Jonghyun act the way he did if he wasn't interested in me? Could it be so sick that he actually was interested in me? That a perfect guy like him just fell in love with a fan like me?

I had never though that though before. But when I though about it, I also manage to let it grew. It bloomed inside of me and hours later, when I laid in my bed staring up in the ceiling heart pounding I knew I was hoplessy in love. And maybe, maybe it was a tiny little chance that he also was in love with me.

Feeling naouseous I decided that tomorrow would be the day when I came clear to Jonghyun and that I would confess my love no matter how embarrasing it would be.