“Stay stay stay, I’ve been loving you

for quite some time time time♪”

-Stay Stay Stay, Taylor Swift.

Everyone always asked how Byung and Chan actually got engaged and those two always kept in their little secret, a little piece of their life that only they could share. They were both nineteen and as per usual, they were at their spot- where they would meet up every weekend- talking, singing, snuggling. All their usual couple stuff. “Byung, you know when we grow up... Do you think we’ll have kids and stuff.” Chan said out of the blue, but he glanced over with a slight eagerness, as if the answer was important. Byung kept from smiling and teased “Well, we don’t have the proper organs to have a baby.”, “You know what I mean you idiot.” Chan pouted but couldn’t help giggling “No, come on, seriously.” Byung’s smile faded slightly but the corners of his mouth were still slightly turned.
Byung’s lip began to seriously tremble as he mumbled “W-What if we aren’t together...” Chan had a brief smile and then burst into laughter. He looked like he was about to explode in front of Byung, who had a very serious face, he didn’t find any of it all that hilarious. “What are you laughing at you disgrace!” Byung groaned, Chan controlled himself but still smirked, “Byung-ah, we’ve been together for ages. Don’t you get it? We’re going to together forever-” Then he stood up on the log and shouted “YOU HEAR THAT WORLD. I WANT TO BE WITH BYUNG FOREVER!” Byung had never felt more in love, while he giggled up at him.

Chan sat down again and looked solemnly at Byung. He knew exactly what he wanted to say, what he was thinking, Chan was like the palm of Byung’s hand. Easy to read. Although that made Byung even more fond of him. “Chan, I know we’re young but I want to be together forever too...” there was no looking away this time, he stared into Chan’s beautiful soul. “Marry me then.” Chan blurted out as if he had been waiting to say it his whole life. Byung bit his lip to keep from squealing and said simply, “Okay.” that’s when Chan picked him up by the wait and spun him around and around like he weighed nothing- which he virtually did- until he got too tired. Chan tripped and they both fell to the floor laughing and panting. Byung pulled Chan’s face towards him and went to kiss him on the cheek but being the joker he was, Chan moved his face and kissed him on the lips. Earning a poke on the nose from Byung.

They snuggled close to each other and wrapped their legs so they were intertwined, they fell asleep that way. All innocent and childlike but the truth of it was that the two of them felt that this was the purest and most beautiful moment of their lives. They didn’t need a ring or all their friends watching. All they needed was each other. When they woke up it was actually just in time to watch the sunrise, together. “I hope we never lose this. This place. Us... I want to remember it everyday.” Byung whispered, Chan looked over at him and a slight smile emerged, as if he was planning something “You won’t. We won’t.” He looked away and Byung eyed him curiously.

After that Chan began saving and planning to build the house by the stars. Every penny he got went into the bank and into their fund. It also took months and months to get planning permission, but after the wedding, after Chan had found out the news about his birth, he powered through. The house was finished by winter time and it was as Byung put it “More than perfect” Chan felt proud of himself everyday, seeing and remembering that look on Byung’s face was all the reward he needed.

~ ♥ ~ ♥ ~

Right now he didn’t feel so proud, he was sat on the couch, nervous eating his little heart out. He had called Byung over fifty times and travelled all over town. “I can’t even find my own husband.” He’d repeat to himself when the worrying was too much. When he realised the one place he hadn’t checked he felt like slapping himself in the face. The hill, of course he was there, probably with his platypus and a book. Chan rolled his eyes at his own idiocy and went on his way, he grabbed his big thick coat and grabbed Byung’s too. Incase they’d be out there for a while. While he walked up, he was almost shaking, he wondered about the confrontation, was this something serious? Had he done something wrong? He racked his brain and before he knew it he was stood right behind their spot. Byung was clear in his view.

But instead of going right up to him, he stared for a minute and remembered the first time he had ever seen him, ever confessed to him, everything. His heart felt like it was in the pit of his stomach because of that sorrowful look on his face, “I’ve done something. He hates me.” Chan worried, though he had no idea what exactly he could’ve done. Bravely, he stepped forward into the space behind Byung, he could tell that Byung knew he was there but didn’t care either way, he didn’t want to go any closer. He sat down in the exact spot he was in. Waiting for Byung to tell him something, enlighten him but he said nothing so he got closer. And closer. And closer until he was sat next to him, timid and not smiling. All he could think about was how angry Byung had looked before. How serious, and honestly it scared him.

“Chan I’m sorry. I know I’ve made you worry.” Byung muttered under his breath, Chan wasn’t even sure if he’d heard it right. “It’s okay-”, “No it isn’t, I’m selfish and I don’t even deserve you...” Byung gulped hard as he interrupted Chan. He went to put his arm around him but Byung flinched away from his touch, Chan felt like he had just been slapped. “Don’t try and make everything alright because you know it’s true. I don’t deserve you, do I?” Byung growled, Chan couldn’t even begin to describe how much he needed this boy “Byung... You... Why are you saying any of this?” the tears in his eyes made his throat clench up. “Because today Lee Chanhee, I met your real Dad and do you know what I did instead of telling you, I thought of myself and ran away. That’s why I don’t deserve you. Someone as sweet and kind and loving.” Byung burst into tears and hid his face in knees. Chan had no idea what to do or say. “I- I-” he breathed in triumphantly “Do I have to explain this to you again? None of this matters Byunghun. I love you whatever you are because we all have our bad days, why would I give up on you just because of this. You need to realise that... You’re not going to end this Byung, no matter what you do and as for not telling me. It’s okay. I don’t know what I’d do either but I’m going now. I’ll see you later.” It was time for Chan to take a stand.

He left the log, left the house and just walked. It hurt him so much when his one and only didn’t even understand that they were forever. Forever and ever and ever. There was no stopping it but to Byung, it was all tainted, something was going to happen and he never wanted to hurt Chan but he managed to do so everyday. That is why he resists, why he questions because he believes Chan would but ten times happier without him. Which, of course, was impossible.