http://www.asianfanfics.com/story/view/28557/personal-reference-a-p-p-l-y-o-p-e-n-apply-beast-dongwoon-dujun-hyunseung-kikwang-yoseob <---- that is my other/new b2st fanfic...its an apply fic...the application isn't working write now but perhaps you guys could subscribe...? kekeke ^^ your decision ^^

***

I cannot cry

Because I know that's weakness in your eyes

I'm forced to fake, a smile, a laugh

Every day of my life

My heart can't possibly break

When it wasn't even whole to start with

❄

Hyejae’s phone rang. She picked up.

“Hello?”

“Hyejae! It’s me, Minni! How are you? Did I wake you?” Hyejae took in a deep breath and changed her voice to sound cheerful.

“Hey Minni! I’m pretty good! What about you? We haven’t seen each other for AGES! We HAVE to get together some time!”

Minni laughed on the other line.

“Well, I’m kind of busy with work and all but I don’t mind hitting a few clubs tonight and pick up a favorable boyfriend!” Minni laughed again and Hyejae laughed too, but, it wasn’t a laugh…it wasn’t real, it wasn’t from the heart.

“Sure, did you want to meet up in front of 63 Building?”

“No problem! I’ll see you there at 8?”

“Definitely.”

“I’m glad that you’re okay.”

Hyejae didn’t say anything and neither of them said anything.

“Anyways, I have to go now! I’ll talk to you later! See you honey! Buh-bye!”

Hyejae was left to listen to the receiver after her friend hung up before she got a chance to reply.

She was home now, soaking wet and was about to get into the warm bath tub, but, before she did, she looked at herself in the large mirror that hung over the basin.

She looked at her face, her pale and ghostly face. Her hair was wet and was wavy. But the one feature she noticed the most, were her eyes; her empty eyes.

The very eyes that had stayed the same for the past year and a half since the break up.

“I can never laugh again…”

❄
 

Hyejae got up from her bed and yawned half heartedly.

She looked around and saw that the other half of the large king sized bed was empty and that the duffels were ruffled, as if the other person had gotten out hastily to do something important.

Suddenly, she heard a whimpering noise. She frowned to herself and then got up, sliding on an oversized fleece and made her way out of her room and into the living room where her boyfriend and fiancé was sitting, the phone hanging off his hand and a hand over his face.

She moved towards him.

Before she could react, her fiancé spoke,

“He’s gone…he died…in a car crash…”

Hyejae didn’t even need to ask who it was. It was his brother, he’s step brother since he was young.

Hyejae moved towards him and put his head against her shoulder.

He dropped the phone on the floor and pulled her in, wrapping his arms tightly around her waist.

“He didn’t even get to see my wedding…” He said, his voice betraying his thoughts and feelings on his brothers death.

Hyejae wanted to cry too. Doojoon’s brother was the reason why the two of them were together and, without him, the two of them wouldn’t be here today.

But she knew that she had to stay strong. She had to stay strong for the two of them and prove to the deceased friends and brother, that the two of them were going to live happily ever after.

She felt warmth seep through her fleece and onto her skin but she knew, behind this warmth was sorrow, regret, sadness and anger.

“He didn’t even…” Doojoon choked on his own words and Hyejae soothed him.

“Shh…everything’s going to be okay…”

She patted his head and looked out the window into the clear blue sky.

“I can never laugh again…”