Too afraid to let it show.. 

He glances at his watch after ringing her doorbell, "All set with time to spare! Nicely done, Lee Hyukjae." He was able to wake up even before his alarm clock this morning - a rare miracle that seems to occur only when he is going on a trip. 



"Oh Hyukjaeah! What a wonderful surprise!" Mrs. Kim ushers him in; her motherly face brightening at the familiar sight of him on their front porch.

"Annyeong eemo!" his smile outshines hers - it's not until now that he realizes that it's been a while since he last saw her.


"Why haven't you come over in so long? I was thinking you and Hyoyeonnie had a fight or something but you know my girl, she never wants me prying!" she shakes her head fondly thinking about her temperamental daughter while leading him towards the kitchen.

"We have strawberry milk!" He accepts a carton happily while she continues, "You know, she makes me buy them every time I go to the mart and I told her 'what's the point when our Hyukjae isn't over to drink them anyway?' so she got mad and drank them all. I think she's addicted to them now!" Her laughter is exactly like her daughter's -tinkling sweet warm strangely reminding of apple cinnamon and he can't help but feel right at home.


"Oh my! Look at me blabbering away while you kids must be getting late. Go on upstairs Hyoyeonnie is in her room."

He gives her a big hug, "I'll come visit often eemo!" and then climbs the stairs towards her bedroom.

*******************

One knock... No response.
Two more... Still no response.

He puts his ear against the door and can hear music on the other side. 


He already knows she is awake because he saw her drawing back her curtains from his room this morning - not that he was stalking her or anything! Just a casual neighbourly observation..


"Hyoyeonah! It's me!"
He waits... and waits... and waits..

Finally, he just let's himself in. Her room is exactly as he remembered - full of pictures and memorabilia but very organized. He doesn't have to look far to spot little signs of himself - the hairclips, ticket stubs from movies, concerts and Lotte World.. and EunHyukkie sitting on her nicely made bed.

A little frown creases his forehead when he sees that next to the pictures of her family on her bedstand is one with Jessica and Sooyoung.'But I'm her number 1 and oldest best friend,' he thinks pettily before moving on to examine the board above her desk.



There he is.. Photos from every year they've known each other ending at the one taken three years ago after his return from America. He is standing tall and proud from his growth spurt, elbow resting on her head mocking her height. They both have such carefree smiles that he feels a pang of loss and regret.

Some more pictures - one of the entire group at a semi-formal, random sticker booth shots with the girls, even one of when they made him, Donghae and Junsu dress up as girls - he quickly pulls that one down but the polaroid next to it is the one that grabs his attention. It's her with Doojoon at some kind of cafeteria. 

A wave of unexplainable annoyance washes over him - he wasn't aware that they were close enough to take pictures together, to have her put him on the wall next to her closest friends, for him to put his arm around her like that.




"Oh my freaking god! When did you get here?" he spins around to catch her standing in front of her bathroom door in cute Hello Kitty pyjamas, clutching her heart. "You scared me to death Lee Hyuk Jae!" 

He decides to brush away thoughts about Doojoon, at least for the duration of the trip - well aware that it was how their last fight started.


"Good morning to you too! Is that how you greet your best friend?" he teases jumping on her bed and leaning his head back against his folded arms.

Walking over, she swats at him with her towel - the cold cloth suddenly making him hyper alert that she's just stepped out of the shower.
'Of course the wet hair might have been a bigger giveaway you idiot!' he scolds himself silently.

"You still talk to yourself? Weirdo!" her voice is doing that sing-song taunting thing so he stands up to face her and counters, "So do you! Weirdo # 2!"

Cue - a series of arguments over who the bigger weirdo is... that is, until they suddenly realize that their mutual steps forward have brought them inches away from each other. 

There is that strange energy in the air again - so palpable, burning their skin..



She is the one to break it, pushing his forehead away with her index finger, "You were born first so you are the Leader Dork by default!"

He accepts the out she is giving them both and throws in a fake evil laugh for good measure, "Then you are my follower!"

"Fine whatever," she is now pushing him towards the door, "Out! I need to get my stuff ready and you are disturbing me!"

"I'll be downstairs!" he consents but he doesn't really follow through. He just stands outside her door staring at it for a long time ... while she does the same on the other side.


Ever since that night at Lotte World, their dynamic has changed. They bicker, they tease, they fight playfully .. anything to keep real feelings and conversations from creeping in. He's afraid he can't go on pretending.. she is determined to never stop pretending. 

*******************


"Hyoyeonnie! Are you almost done? We are running late sweetheart!" It's Siwon, using his best patient yet authoritarian voice. 

She comes bustling down the stairs and follows him out to the street where all their friends' cars are parked and waiting. 
A string of apologies about a monkey interrupting her packing flows from her lips as she clambers into the last seat of Siwon's 6-seater SUV.




"Really? A monkey?" he blinks his eyes innocently at her from the adjacent seat,"Running loose in our very own neighbourhood? Why didn't you show me! Some best friend you are!"

A tiny fist comes flying in his direction and he dodges it laughing. "Let the record show that I, Lee HyukJae, was ready before Kim Hyoyeon for the first time today!"

"Enjoy it because it will be your last!"


"Time out!" Sooyoung finally orders sternly, turning back to give them both pointed stares, "It's my birthday so we will all get along like the happy family we are, understood?"



"Alright one more person to pick up and we are officially on our way!" Siwon announces following the GPS directions to Kyuhyun's house.

***************************

"Stop hogging all my chips! Are you a girl or Godzilla?"

Sooyoung glares at Kyuhyun before purposely knocking the chips out of his hands. "Oops butterfingers!" She then leans forward, "Siwon oppa! Cho Kyuhyun just dropped all his chips on your newly cleaned floor!"


The pair behind them tries to stifle their giggles. 
"Ten bucks says those two are going to get married someday and have twins!" she whispers.
"Totally!" he replies agreeably as he flicks through the songs on her iPod, their own arguments long forgotten. They are even sharing a pair of earphones.

**********************

Not even 10 minutes later,

"Yah! You jerk! You knew that was my water bottle and you finished all my water on purpose!"
"Oh did I? I could've sworn it looked just like mine!"
"Liar! You didn't even bring one! You have to buy me a drink now!"
"Buy me a bag of chips first!"
"But it's my birthday!"
"So..?"


"Hey guys! The vein on Siwon hyung's neck is about to pop!" Minho warns in a careful voice from the front seat.



"Sooyoungie!" she rummages through her stuffed bag emptying half the contents onto the seat between them before locating her bottle of water, "here, have mine!"

"Thanks Hyo! At least some people care if I live or die!"
"Drama Queen!"
"Insensitive jerk!"



She leans back happily towards him again, "Can you believe them?" but oddly he is not smiling anymore.
"What?" Please don't let it get weird again, she prays silently. 


"Why'd you bring this and not EunHyukkie?" he points an accusing finger at her Teddy bear. 
"EunHyukkie is fine resting at home on my bed," she shakes her head at his childishness, "I've had Mr. Teddy for longer, I can't leave him behind, you know that!"

"By that logic, haven't you known me longer? How come my pictures are on the wall with everyone else while Sica and Sooyoung's are next to your bed?" he juts his chin out, pouting petulantly - the real reason for his discontent becoming obvious. 

A gurgling laugh follows as she sticks her tongue out at him, even though what she really wants is to kiss pinch his adorable cheeks, "Gosh! You're such a girl!"
"No you!"



"Enough!" Siwon snaps bringing the car to a jerking stop causing everyone behind them to pull over as well.
"No more bickering in my car. My ears are bleeding!"


"Blame Miss Louder-than-a-Megaphone over here!" Kyuhyun sniggers and Sooyoung lets out a piercing Elvira screech, "Ok that's it! I'm out of here!" The door flings open, "Come on Hyo! We're switching to Donghae's car!"

"But why me?" She would much rather be in Siwon's spacious SUV than bearing the wrath of Jessica. 
"Cause I'm not suffering with the lovebirds alone."


With a sigh, she collects her things but right before she leaves, he grabs her hand, eyes twinkling mischievously, "It's not over! I'm gonna take revenge for EunHyukkie so watch out!"

=========================================================

A/N Happy New Year.i hope you all had a great start of 2013. I am back from my short vacation so here is the update with special appearance by KyuYoung. enjoy.