Your life was starting to have no meaning. You just sat there all day staring mindlessly into nothing, rarely eating. At first it was because you were too scared to go out, but now it was more then that. You didn't want to run into Jiyong. And the same question kept rising in your mind. Was it possible for you to accept him? That question still remained unanswered.

DINGGG!

Another visit? Who could it be this time...? Not....not Jiyong right??

When you slowly open the door, you see Youngbae yet again.

"What are you doing here again?" You ask.

"To give you this." He throws something at you. A book. When you open it, it has tons of lyrics inside.

"It's Jiyong's most prized possesion. His lyric book."

Just as you're about to throw it back at him, he takes it back and opens it to a certian page and gives it back to you.

"Read this song. Jiyong wrote it before he left. Everyone thinks he's on vacation but he's actually been missing these whole 2 weeks. Read the lyrics over and think about who they're directed to. That's it....cya."

Youngbae starts walking away, leaving you stunned. Jiyong.....missing? Was this your fault? Trying to shake the thought out, you read the page that Youngbae had opened. It had a lot of scribbles on it and the entire page was wrinkled as if it had been soaked in water. Tears maybe. It read,

Today you look a bit different
You look especially a bit cold
Your eyes that look at me are filled with pity
In front of you, I seem smaller

I tried to be fine, trying to explain
Though I had so much I wanted to tell you

You cut me off right away
Your hair flowing

You turn away and left right away

If I try to catch you here, would that be too ridiculous?

Nothing comes to my mind
As you tremble, you take a step, two steps back
You say that I scare you now
You’re like a moon that makes me go crazy

I love you baby I’m not a monster
You know how I was in the past
When time passes, it’ll all disappear
Then you will know baby

I need you baby I’m not a monster
You know me so don’t leave like this
If even you throw me away, I will die
I’m not a monster

No matter what happens, let’s be forever
When we’re sad, when we’re happy, let’s go till the end
You don’t say that tomorrow
Let’s love like today is the last

A life without you is like an imprisonment for life
An extinction from the world to the point where I’d go crazy
Your existence is a chronic disease, a repitition of pain
You’re a lingering attachment in my heart

The people of the world have turned their backs against me
The corners of their eyes are all twisted up
The greatest pain to me,
Is the fact that you became the same as them

Don’t go, don’t go, don’t go, don’t leave me
Don’t do it, don’t do it, don’t do it, it’s not like you
Getting farther away, love is breaking apart

Don’t find me, don’t find me, don’t find me, don’t look for me
The last, last, last image
Of me in front of you, Remember that, Don’t forget me

I think I’m sick I think I’m sick
I think I’m sick I think I’m sick

When you finish reading, your eyes are full of tears. This was definitely directed towards you...how could you have been so blind? Jiyong obviously cared about you more then anything, and now it was clear you felt the same way. Your heart felt like it was on fire, burning with your pain and guilt. And now he was gone. Missing. Not even Youngbae new where he was.

So many things were going through your head, but mostly regret. How could you let something so perfect slip through your hands? You always thought it was weird that Jiyong chose you, when he could pretty much have any girl in the world. But that had never crossed your mind that day.

Now you knew. You NEEDED Jiyong. Your love for him was more then your fear. After reading the lyrics, it felt like Jiyong was scared too. Scared of losing you. And when he thought he did lose you, he left. The tears wouldn't stop falling. More then anything in the world, you wanted him back. Wiping your eyes, you stare at the book with determination. No matter how long it took, you would look. You know you probably won't find him...but maybe. And if not, he has to come back someday right? He can't just leave Big Bang hanging because of you. The thought of that happening makes you shudder.

And so, you set off.....(after finally showering and eating properly of course.)

Cr. To K-pop Subs for English translation of Monster ><