Their first gig was a success.  They received much good feedback from the indie fans that came to Café Bbang and adding to that, the owner of the café has agreed to let them play every fortnightly on Saturdays.  The boys were very much excited and happy of the good fortune that has shone on them that they have made arrangements to celebrate at a nearby karaoke club, inviting Han Yoon Jae and Gong Ji Cheol along.  The celebration was supposed to be a joyous one and yet he wasn’t feeling just the opposite.  Looking at the couple sitting in front of him was enough to make him feel like his soul was being chewed by a monstrous feeling growing rapidly inside of him.  Jealousy, dejection, self pity. 

He wanted to be somewhere else than where he was now.  Somewhere where he could drown all the sorrow feelings he’s feeling at that moment but as a leader of his group, he felt the responsibility to be happy for them and being there with them was number one, above his current needs.  He put on a happy face, a charade to cover up the tsunami within him.  But every time he saw her looking at him, sometimes he swore he saw pity appeared on her face, his heart felt like it was stabbed.  So by the end of the first thirty minutes they were there, he felt that his heart has no more empty spot to plunge the dagger in anymore.  It was then he made the decision to excuse himself and pull himself away from the agonizing sight.

“Boys…I really would like to stay longer but I have to go.  All of you did really good for the performance and Yoon Jae-sshi, Gong Ji Cheol-sshi, thank you for the support.  For a job well done, let’s take a 2 day break from practice,” he gave out a little speech when the boys are busy searching for songs, praising his band members and excusing himself at the same time, picking up his guitar and made his way out of the rented karaoke room.  Leaving the byes and singing voices behind.

Kim Hyun Joong walked down the street, passing the nearby bus stand.  He didn’t want to go home just yet.  Wandering the streets would probably help him to clear some of the emotions inside of him.  His eyes are on the side walk but in reality, his mind was somewhere else all together.

‘I am pretty sure that she has some feelings for me.  That was the reason I felt secured enough to speak out.  I’ve never been wrong before…’he was reasoning to himself, trying to figure out what went wrong in between his confession and the performance.

‘She didn’t act like she had feelings for her neighbor or that she only had a mutual feelings towards me.  The blush when I’m near…the eye avoiding and stealing glances of me…that is pretty much a positive sign that she’s feeling something for me.  But why is she holding hands and whispering so intimately with that man during our performance?’he continued on, frowning in the process, ‘Was that her answer?’

That last sentence kept echoing in his head and made him stopped on track.  “That… is her answer?” he silently whispered out the words.  His sudden stop in the middle of the sidewalk and lost in his own thoughts was definitely not a good move, especially to other people around him.  Someone from behind him slammed straight into his back and made him toppled over.

“Hey!  Why do you stop all of a sudden?” grumbled the man that banged onto him, rubbing his red nose due to the little accident.  Startled, Kim Hyun Joong got up from the floor and bowed, apologizing to the man.

“I’m sorry.”

“Next time, don’t spaced out,” the man continued to show his dissatisfaction before walking off. 

Kim Hyun Joong stood still, watching the man walking away when in between the crowds he noticed a familiar face.  His heart raced immediately.  Looking around, he saw a small alley between a bakery and a music store not too far away from him.  He quickly made his way into the alley and lean on the wall.  He peered out a little, just enough for him to see the person and her couple walked by him.  The instant they past him, his heart hurt.  But he was glad that they didn’t seem to notice him.  Watching closely until they have completely gone out of sight, he propped down to the ground.  The images he tried so hard to forget for the past 1 year came barging in inside his mind.  He sat his head in between his legs, trying to calm down and wiped away the memories.

While he was in the process of doing so, his body stiffened and he felt like his heart dropped to his stomach when he felt a hand on his left shoulder.  ‘Please…not them,’ his thought begged and hoped the owner of the hand that was so suddenly landed on his shoulder was not the same couple that he had previously saw and hid from.  Taking a deep breath and held onto it, he slowly lifted his head and turned towards the hand’s owner.  Seeing the face, he let out the air he was holding in relieve. 

“What are you doing hiding here?  Who were you trying to avoid?” the person asked.

He didn’t answer.  He watched closely at the person and before knowing it, a tear dropped from his right eye.  Quickly wiping it away with the back of his hand, he turned away.

“Hyun Joong ah…are you okay?  What’s wrong?”

Trying to compose himself, he took a deep breath and let it go before turning around, “Yeah, I’m fine.  What are you doing here?  Where is your partner?” he answered, matter-of-factly.  He stood up and faked out a smile.

“I’m alone.  I followed you.  We need to talk.”

His smile faded.  ‘I know the answer…I don’t need to hear them from you.  My heart can’t take it.  I can’t face two heart wrenching event in the same day…’

“Can’t I take a rain check?” he asked, trying to dodge the bullet aiming for his already cracked heart.

“No.  We need to talk now.  Let’s just go to the bakery here.”

Seeing the determination in her eyes, he gave up resistance.  He knew that, one day or another, he would have to confront this matter and probably it is best to get all of the heart breaking news once and for all in a go.

“Okay.  You win.”

The both of them entered the bakery and sat at the farthest table from the counter, away from the other customers in the store.  She made the orders even with him protesting to it. 

“So, tell me…why were you in that alley?  Why do you look so sad?” she asked straight after the waiter walked off with their order.

“What do you want to talk about?  If it is about me, let me settle my own problem,” answered him brusquely, looking away from her.

“Hyun Joong ah…I’m worried about you.  I’ve never seen you like that before.”

“I’m nothing to you.  I’m just your student.  As a tutor, you don’t have any obligation on my personal life.  If this is what you want to discuss, I better leave,” he brushed her off, getting his guitar and stood.

He was about to leave when he felt a tug on his t-shirt.  “Hyun Joong…I’m sorry.  I think you misunderstood me,” he heard her.

He closed his eyes, calming himself before turning around, “What do you mean I misunderstood you?”

“Please sit.”

He sighed and sat back down.  He stared at her, waiting for her explanation.

“What you saw during your performance…it’s not as what you thought.”

He kept his silence. 

“My real answer…”

He waited for her to continue but she was looking down at her fingers and kept silent until the waiter came with their order, 1 hot honey lemon tea, 1 Pepsi and 1 mini chicken sausage pizza.

She looked up at him after the waiter left, “Well… I… I…this is my first time, someone younger and not to mention, my own student…”

“What are you mumbling about?  I don’t understand,” he questioned her answer, feeling restless.

“Kim Hyun Joong-sshi… meet me in the middle, will you…”

He was certain his jaw dropped when he heard her answer.  Gulping, he stared at her, trying to catch any signs of her playing a joke about it.  Instead he saw her rosy flushed cheeks and lips pursed together showing that she was shy about it. There was no lie or joke to what she had said.

“Are you sure you won’t run away when I started walking to where you are?” he asked, trying to ascertain what he just heard.

“Argghh…this is so embarrassing.”

“Will you?” he asked again.

“I won’t.”

That simple, short answer is all what he needed to mend his heart.  His lips stretched into a wide horizontal ‘C’.  He put his guitar at the chair beside him, took the knife and fork, cut the pizza into little square bits, poked it with the fork and shoved it to Han Yoon Jae, the one sitting in front of him.

“Eat this and it’s sealed.  No more backing out of this,” he said eagerly, his smile turning into a happy grin.

“You sure are something, Hyun Joong ah.  So, once I eat it, you can’t back down either.”

“It’s not me that you should worry about.  I’m there, and I will always be at that position.”

She shook her head in disbelieve and he just kept on grinning happily like a lunatic when she took a bit at the pizza from the fork he was holding.  ‘I knew she had feelings for me…’