I'm a mess
One-Way Love(PS: Please listen to EXO's Baby Don't Cry. I was listening to it while I was writing this part. Makes you feel more.)
Chapter 34
Bom’s POV
Flashback
“Marry me.” He said as his tears started to fall again.
I looked at him with disbelief, is he serious with this? Did I hear him right?
‘Marry me’ he says and he expects me to answer what? Yes?
“Seung Hyun.” he then looks at me expectantly, he’s waiting for me to say yes.
“I’m tired. I want to go home.” I added.
I was expecting him to be sad but he wasn’t, he’s expression becomes worried. He then smiles again as he wipes his tears away, sniffing away his crushed ego.
“Come, I’ll take you home.” His hand reached for mine, helping me to get up.
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That drive back home was the longest and painful ride I had experienced. Seung Hyun held my hand the entire time he was driving, not even letting it go just because, but he did when he needed to tend the wheels. I can’t even look at him straight in the eyes now. I am shameful on how I am treating him. He shouldn’t be experiencing this pain that I cast on myself. I should be the one who’s in pain and alone.
“I know it’s too sudden. Don’t worry, I’ll wait till you say yes again.” He finally spoke as he park his car outside my house.
“I’m sorry.” I whispered.
“Don’t be.”
“What did you think, the first time you saw me?” I finally looked at him.
He smiles boyishly, “I thought you’re the most beautiful girl I saw.”
“Even when I was fat?” I had to make sure.
“With all the baby fats that you had and will have.”
This beautiful man. He’s just so beautiful in so many ways.
“Were you disappointed when you get to know me?” I asked.
“Yes.” He answered, reaching out for my wet cheeks and caressing it carefully.
“Because I’m a mess.”
“Yes. But I love your mess, it makes you who you are.” His smile is just painful.
“You’re too good for me Seung Hyun~ah. Hearing all of these makes me feel that I don’t deserve you.” I looked at his widen eyes, shocked by my revelation.
“No don’t say that Bom. Please.” He holds both of my hands, placing it under his lips.
“God damn it Park Bom you promised that I can keep you by my side forever! You promised!!” He sobs under my hands, “You~you promised that I can keep you even if you found someone else…” his voice fading away.
“I never promised.” I answered, there’s no painful way on handling this.
“Why are you doing this?” he finally let my hand go.
“There’s no other way.”
He sat back on his seat and rested his head, washing his hands over his face. I looked out the window, staring at my house. The lights were on, maybe the maids saw the car, thinking it’s me.
“When you said you love me, was that because you’re in the moment?” he asked. No. It’s more of accusing.
Is that it? Am I just in the moment when I said I love him?
No.
I can feel that I really love him.
‘The night at the bath house where I said that I said I love you, I really mean it.’
I do love him but I can’t b
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