Hi dear followers!! new chapter here ^.^ haven't proofread it yet..but if I don't post it today, I don't know when I'll have the chance to do it so...Enjoy!

The next event  I’m going to share with you is an unpleasant one. I know I may sound mean, but I’m glad Yixing broke up with Mary at the time they did; otherwise, I don’t think I would have been able to survive…

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It was late October and it was raining. The weather those last couple of day was awful…rain, lighting, strong breeze… I thought it was the end of the world. It practically was, at least for me.

I was lying in my bed studying for an exam I had. My head hurt and I had cramps and a little bit of fever.

“MOOOOOOOM!”  Screaming made me feel even worst, but I didn’t want to get up from bed.

After a few seconds, I heard someone opening the door. My mom stepped inside my roon and sat on my bed.

“Honey, what’s the matter?”

“I feel awful” I pouted like a little child “do you have something for the cramps or the headache?”

“mmm….I don’t think we have. Do you want me to go to the pharmacy and get you something?

I looked at the window and I could barely see the outside because of the rain. This was not a good moment to go out.

“don’t worry mom…I’ll survive” I smiled trying to convince her I wasn’t feeling that bad…but I was.

“Take a break darling. Sleep a little bit” She tucked me in bed and gave me a kiss in the forehead.

“oh god… you are burning” She said touching my neck and forehead. “I’ll be back soon. Don’t even try getting up.” She turned off the lights and closed the door.  I closed my eyes and went to sleep right away.

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“LINA! LINA!! WAKE UP!”  I could feel someone shaking me but I was too tired to open my eyes.

“whaaaaaaat?” I mumbled a little bit pissed off because I didn’t want to get up.

“LINA!”  I finally recognized my dad’s voice…and he sounded worried.

“what happened dad?” I sat and rubbed my eyes to take away the sleep. That’s when I saw the he was all wet and his eyes red… had he been crying?

“get dressed, we have to go to the hospital…your mom...” he couldn’t finish the sentence. He just got up and headed for the door.

Mom? What happened to her? 

“Dad, what happened to mom?!” I said alarmed.

“your mom…she got into an accident…” I could see fresh tears coming from his eyes.

What he just told me hadn’t sunk in at that moment; so like a robot, I got up and put on some clothes really fast. My mind was totally blank. 

On the way to the hospital I didn’t know what to do or feel.  I texted Yixing and told him what happened. He said he’d go to the hospital.

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Apparently my mom decided to walk to the pharmacy (which is a little bit far from the house), instead of driving. Since the streets were so wet, a truck that was going at high speed lost control and got into the sidewalk hitting my mom and other people in the process.

My father wouldn’t tell me anything about her conditions, so I just sat there in the waiting room thinking about what would happen.

What if she doesn’t make it? What are we going to do? I ..I don’t want to lose her.

I looked at my dad and he was walking up and down the hall – desperate..angry…sad.  I wanted to approach him and comfort him, but I didn’t know how.  Even tough we had a good relationship, I’ve always been closer to my mom. My dad spent most of my childhood traveling and working. I barely have memories of him when I was growing up; I did everything with my mom. The same could be said when we moved to China; he was always busy, traveling here and there. Since I’m not that close to him I didn’t know how to give him comfort.  My mom was like the glue of this family…she needed to come out of this alive.

After a while, Yixing arrived. He sat down with me and I told him the details of the accident.

“Lina..you are burning..are you ok?” He asked touching my neck. I totally forgot I was feeling sick.

“I had a fever and I wasn’t feeling good. That’s why my mom went to the pharmacy…”

That’s why she’s in this situation now. It’s all my fault

Yixing knew I was blaming myself for what happened to my mom. He grabbed my face and forced me to look at him.

 “Lina…this is not your fault ok?”  I could barely see his face due to the tears that were forming.

“I’m going to get you some medicine, ok?” I just nodded and a few tears escaped. He wiped them off and offered me a smiled. He then left to get me some medicine for the fever.

After he left, I looked at my dad and he was talking with the doctors. None of them were smiling…this was not good.  I waited until they finished and went to where my dad was to ask him about mom’s condition.

“what did the doctor say? Is she going to be ok?”

“The doctor say it’s a miracle she’s still breathing…we’ll have to see if she makes it pass tonight….I-I’m going to leave for a while, ok?” I knew he was about to have a breakdown but didn’t want to do it in front of me, so I just let him go. I sat down thinking about what he just said.

Mom, you need to stay alive. Please, don’t leave me alone!

At that moment Yixing came with the medicine.

“Here, take th- what’s the matter?”  I didn’t realize I was shaking due to the fever and the realization that my mom might die. I needed someone to hold me and tell me everything was going to be ok. Thank god I had Yixing.

“…She-She needs to live Yixing” I started crying. He hugged me really tight and rubbed my back trying to calm me down.

“Shhh…don’t worry. She’ll survive. She is a strong woman, you know that right?”

I was exhausted, not only did my fever got worst but all this emotions were making me feel tired.  Yixing forced me to take the pills and made me lean into him so I could rest a little bit.

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A heart wrenching scream woke me up. For a second, I was disoriented but I realized I was at the hospital….Mom!

I looked around and Yixing was not here and my dad was kneeling on the floor crying while the doctor was trying to calm him down.

I immediately ran to where they were “DAD! WHAT HAPPENED?!!...Doctor, is my mom ok?”

I looked at the doctor and I could see that nothing was ok, nothing would ever be ok again.

“…she…she’s dead Lina…sh-she couldn’t make it” my dad said with a broken voice.

No…she can’t be. She…she wouldn’t leave us…leave me alone!

I just sat there looking at my dad crying out his heart on the floor. I wanted to cry but…I just felt so empty. As if someone drained all the emotions from me.  I knew I needed to be strong… at least for my dad.  I knelt down and hugged him. He didn’t hug me back, he just kept crying.

“She shouldn’t have gone! WHYYYYYYYYYY?! WHY HER!?!” he started screaming again. I suddenly felt guilty again.

She shouldn’t have gone out, but stupid me needed medicine. My mom is dead because of me.

In that moment I realized my life wasn’t going to be the same.

Mom, why did you leave me?

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That night I went to Yixing’s house. His mom called my dad and told him she would take care of me while he took care of the funeral arrangements and other paperwork at the hospital. 

“Darling, eat this soup. It will help you with your fever”

I hadn’t spoken all night. I just didn’t want to talk. I wanted to go to sleep and forget this ever happened.

Yixing whispered something to his mom and she just gave me a sad smile and left.

“Lina…open your mouth” Yixing tried to feed me to no avail.

“I..I don’t want to eat Yixing…sorry” My eyes started to get watery “I want to sleep…”

“Ok, let’s go to sleep ”  Yixing held my hand and took me to his room.

 I was going to sleep on his bed while he would sleep on the floor. I crawled under the sheets and curled into a fetal position. I closed my eyes hoping I would go to sleep and wake up realizing this was just a nightmare.

There, under the comfort of the sheets, the events of the day finally sunk in.

I lost my mom. I won’t ever see her face again. They didn’t even allow me to see her. How much did she get hurt? …and it was all my fault. If only I wasn’t sick…

I didn’t realize I started crying…I could feel my heart breaking in pieces and I could barely breathe.  I was so consumed by my sadness that I didn’t noticed Yixing had gotten up and lied next to me. 

“Lina…”  I turned around and hugged him. He was my only source of comfort. Knowing he was here with me made me feel less lonely.

“Yixing… what am I going to do without her?” He wiped away my tears. I looked at him and noticed he was crying as well. I could tell he didn’t know what to say to make me feel better, so he just brought me closer to him and pressed my head on his chest.

“it hurts…It’s my fault!” I grabbed his shirt really tight; my knuckles turning white. He started playing with my hair knowing that it was going to calm me.

We cried for hours, until I finally became drowsy. That’s when I heard Yixing speaking for the first time after my breakdown.

“Lina...I wish I could bring your mom back, but I can’t and it hurts me to see you like this...” He was sobbing “You won’t be alone; I’ll take care of you. I promise”  He kissed my head and got up to sleep on the floor.

Amidst all the pain and sadness I had gone through, I was glad to have him by side.  I didn’t know how my relationship with my dad was going to be after this so I didn’t know what to expect. The only stable thing in my life was him, Zhang Yixing.

Author's Note: I'm thinking about writting the next few chaptes in Yixing's POV ...but I don't know yet...what do you guys think?