I attended primary school, went to the best high school I could get into, I'd gotten in to the school my parents wanted, got a degree and a good job. So what now? Sure, in five years, I'm comfortable in my work, I've been promoted once, I deserved it, my performance warranted it. I've got a handsome fiance, my future in-laws approve of me highly.

Nonetheless I feel unfulfilled, is that right? No, I'm not complaining, I just thought maybe after doing everything right, I'd feel better than I do. That once I'd put all the pieces in place I'd feel it click, I'd feel it.

I have no idea what it is that I'm looking for but I must be doing something or perhaps even everything wrong. This has been eating away at me for who knows how long. 

I had forgot my earphones in the office, how stupid. it's these long moments when my mind is free that these thoughts start to take over, sitting unoccupied on the subway, those fleeting moments before sleep, runs on the treadmill, I can't help these ideas this feeling.

Hoping to think of something, anything else, I scanned my eyes over the constituency of the car, mostly people were keeping to themselves, two college-aged people were standing bit too close to be traveling independently. I'd imagined a  scenario in which they shared some unrequited longing to be more than classmates. I smile at the though reminiscing on the few awkward relationships I'd had during my school days. 

Seated near them was a woman who looked very much like myself, save the fact that she had the sense to remember her earphones. her attire not low end but plain like mine, sensible yet fashionable shoes, it was like seeing myself. 

In a moment of total brazen stupidity I'd gotten up and stepped towards her, grabbing the pole near her to steady myself. Some thing inside me was about to strike up a conversation with her and ask her to drinks or something but i was able to squash that tiny thing. 

I'd dumbly asked the time instead, "Excuse me, miss, do you know the time?"

She looked at me very oddly pointing her gaze at the phone clutched in my hand by my side. Damn Juhyun you're an idiot. Her gaze continued to pierce me suspecting that I had something else in mind when I came over to her. 

"Battery's dead." Then to my absolute horror, it lit up, heralding a message from my fiance. "Um…" I held out. 

That tiny thing I thought I'd squashed managed to take over again, "Do you want to get something to eat? Together, I mean, for what reason would I ask you if you were hungry?" That stupid little bold thing inside of me seems to have inherited my lovely habit of insecure rambling, this brazen Juhyun is still Juhyun, I guess.

She had gorgeous eyes, decorated with black eyeliner and mascara, contrasting with her near white skin. Her lips were moving she was responding, my heart clenched in fear of both insult and rejection. 

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It was utterly bizarre and yet perfect at the same time.

Secretly, I dread when the minute hand strikes six. I dawdle at my desk, once and a while the office workers go for drinks or dinner, but the staff are all starting to settle down. My desk is neat as a pin, all the pages in order, pens point down, keyboard vacuumed. 

I heaved a sigh, slinging my bag over my shoulder, pushing my hair back from my face and trudged towards the elevator. Down, down, down, the elevator, the hill, then to the train, just as I physically travelled my mood followed. Hell my apartment was even underground, partly. 

I dropped myself into the seat, weary not because I was tired from my day, but tired from my life. I worked hard, but I never really got to the top, I was good, but I guess everyone else was better. I'd been overlooked for promotion twice in the past six years. I'd dated a serial cheater for three years, until six months ago, he got married last week, I guess she's good enough for his eyes not to wander, I certainly wasn't.

Listening to nothing, sat with headphones popped in my ears eyes straight at my lap. Honestly looking at all the people on the subway always reminded me that they were probably going home to someone, or something that they'd rather be with or doing than work. And I of course, was going home to my empty basement apartment, my TV and takeout.

I don't mind. Suddenly, as if out of now where a tall girl was in my face, I looked up at her, she stumbled a bit and asked for the time, I stared at the phone in her hand. She claimed it was dead, totally feasible but why did she ask me? Then phone the little bugger's hand lit up, I kept my face straight, but I fought hard against laughing out loud.

Then she asked it, the thing that was going to save me from another night of the same old mindless routine I was stuck in. 

"Do you want to get something to eat? Together, I mean, for what reason would I ask you if you were hungry?" It was cute how she rambled on, but she was staring like she was trying to see me, it was definitely different. I can't tell if it's a good or a bad different just yet.