A/N- This one's on my ssf collection and my lj. her you go, this one's a bit more serious, and a little bit more personal. 

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original A/N:hmm... there's something on my mind so im gonna experiment with this for a second... 

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I'm sorry, so sorry, I miss you, I miss so much, so very much. Honestly, I regret everything, every single thing I did just because I got scared. I know I hurt you, I let other people twist things around so that I rationalized that it was you, but it was me. I didn't know what I was doing. I didn't know how good I had it.

Sometimes when I'm happy all I want to do is share it with you, but I know I can't any more. Honestly not a week or day passes when I don't think of you. I thought maybe that when I realized that I'd hurt myself too, that I could just get over it. But I can't,  its like there's this HUGE hole in me. and I want you to know that i still care about you and I really really messed up, you were right, i was making bad choices. You were, I swear it, my best friend.

And now i can't even talk to you, I wish that you would call me, and just yell and shout at me, call me dumb, stupid and heartless. Show me what i did to you. You're completely gone. And i honestly don't think that this feeling's going to go away anytime soon. 

I can't even tell you this because I can't even trust myself enough not to hurt you again. 

This idiot wishes that you only taste the goodness in life and that you never encounter such a fool again. 

보고싶다, 

이 바보 너를 사랑한.

Sooyeon's face was streaked with tears, as she posted the error filled message on to he online journal, thinking no person would ever actually care enough to see the words she just had to put down some place because she couldn't tell anyone else. 

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Two days later.

Sooyeon was playing puzzle games on the computer before bed, and a new email notification popped up.  "Someone has commented on you entry," she mumbled aloud, as she clicked on the message. 

Anonymous has commented on your entry: "You can't imagine how many times I've dialed your number and lost the courage to press send"

Nothing could stop the tears that started falling, but thinking that it was just some online prank she closed her computer and slid in to her bead, tightly hugging her bolster.

Then the phone on her nightstand chirped. She reached for it and flipped it open.

"You've never apologized before -yoongie"

Her heart dropped, her mind asking if this were real. She deftly send back "I'm sorry, Yoona -sy"

Instantly her phone lit up with a new message "It's okay, I miss you -yoongie"

Sooyeon smiled and her heart lit up. "You deserve better thanme. -sy"

"No Sooyeon, you're a bigger fool if you think I don't still love you -yoongie"